How the hell everyone is supposed to cope?

[Oink38]

Having a bad day of mass anxiety.

so, hubby and I earn ok wages. Not huge but we both work for charities so probably earn between 50k between us

childcare is killing us- nearly 1k a month for 3 days a week. We have no family or friends support. Now that the new funding has come in people who aren’t entitled due to being 3 shortly and not getting that funding until September will have to no doubt have their nursery fees raised again.

no pay rises in sight. Meant to be putting into work pension and also saving but honestly where the hell are we supposed to find the money

desperate to move but can’t cos nursery fees are too high.

fed up with this government. Not entitled to any benefits barely surviving month to month. Haven’t had a holiday in 9 years. Drive old car. No fun days out. Barely have anything left to do anything with. Utterly fed up of working for basically shit.

no can’t get other jobs I am specialised in what I do and hubby earns well for the field he is in.

and no we don’t buy take away coffees or avocados

just a massive rant really. Suppose aibu in thinking how the hell people are supposed to survive when everything is going up and no positivity anywhere

OP it’s good that you posted and majority of comments are supportive and empathetic. We are living in really difficult times. Salaries v property prices have caused very serious difficulties, food and bills up. Yes you should be able to do a decent day’s work in a sector that creates a good society and raise children. It’s really really tough at the moment and it sounds like you just need to keep getting through until school starts.

Can you move nearer to family for childcare help and still reach job, take mortgage holiday, negotiate a pay rise, offer childcare in your home to someone else when you are on days off so increasing your income? Not that you should have to do this. Let’s see how people Stay strong OP.

It's really tough. DW always wanted to be a SAHM which has admittedly saved us a fortune.

Economies are supposed to be high-tad with high state support, or low tax. Yet we seem to have the worst of all worlds with a record tax burden and decimated public services. We're in Scotland, so we pay more tax than if we lived anywhere else in the UK.

You are eligible for 15 hours from April and then 30 hours from September. 100%. I have received codes already for children in December 2021 and August 2021.

Could you both work part time and claim some uc. Play around with some figures on the uc website?

@Oink38 im sorry if I came across as abrupt! Just keep hearing the same comment in regards to people claiming UC, sorry for being snappy!

But you could change jobs, still help people and earn more. It isn't only charity jobs that make a difference to people's lives. Have a look and see what is out there, you could book in with a career advisor to see what jobs you could transfer over to.

I hear you OP. I work public sector and I don’t know anyone thriving right now and some barely surviving. No words of wisdom but, I hear ya. X

Could you have some kind of childcare agreement with another parent? You look after their child when you’re not working and they look after yours while you are?

OP's household is over 10k above the average UK household income. I accept area and housing costs come into this, but realisitcally if no household with <£50k income had children as they "Couldn't afford it" long term the uk would be fucked on so many levels.

If we make it unaffordable to have kids, we mess up the whole economy.

It's a struggle

Thanks- my mum is local but elderly so can’t help and in laws work and live London so no way cheaper!

Wow! Thank you. I’ll chase monday then! I can’t believe they told us we weren’t!

people do not have enough and selling on Vinted is often quite frustrating.And dont start the boomer bashing either cos many of them aint doing so good and not because they are bad people or have frittered money away.There is alot of judgement on people not earning enough and that they should do extra jobs.Sometimes they cannot. They are knackered.A basic income and reasonable rented housing or free for all imho.Decent and free child care too.Or at least subsidised.It is possible but people are too busy judging each other to work together.Some people cannot work at all and life is not on a level playing field.Unless you are very talented , beautiful or rich luck is very random and people do not make their own luck very often. Circumstances are complex.

have some humanity and just lissten to the poster.or better still get in the streets but whatever you do dont expect much from Starmer

I hear you OP and my kids are grown. Bloody hell, it seems any frustration aired on here and post to be qualified/justified from all angles. OP was only here to vent …

Assuming you only need 3 days a week as one of you only works three days a week. It sounds as if you’d almost be better with the lower earner stopping work until free hours or school kick in.

On a combined income of 50k? Are children only for the rich now?

The clue is in "working".

Nursery years are nuts but it gets better. Hang in there.

Op after April your salaries are not far off minimum wage so you really have to recognise this, especially if your working a professional role as your employer is under paying you.

Whilst it is tough for everyone right now, if your and your husband are reducing your earning potential to work in the 3rd sector out of love then your making a choice to do that.

Have you heard about the cost of living crisis? It means that things have become a lot more expensive over a short period of time. Not easy to plan for.

We are in a similar position.Actually have what I thought should be alright (not high but enough) income of 65k ish combined, however we pay 1.1k a month in nursery fees for 3 days (and that’s after all the funding/tax free childcare etc has been deducted, actual bill is way higher), I didn’t get a payrise last year, our mortgage is already £1k and about to go up by another £270 a month. We hardly ever have anything leftover and have to budget to the penny, it’s rubbish!

It's really shit for a lot of people. We don't have childcare costs but having to help two kids through Uni. They have both tried everything to get jobs. Just at a time in life where we should be saving for retirement , we can't.

You’re so right! OP should’ve used her crystal ball to see that cost of living was going to sky rocket and then chosen not to get pregnant what I can only assume was a minimum of two years ago.

You work 25 hours a week in a not great paying job. Your husband works 35 hours a week in a similar job. You're part time, he's at the lower end of what's considered full time. It sounds like you provide lots of unpaid labour to your employer which doesn't help you in the least and despite being highly specialised, your employer does not recognise this with any sort of financial compensation.

Between you and your DH, someone needs to increase their hours, because neither of you are willing to move from jobs that don't value you enough to pay well. If your husband works shift work, then maybe you can find a second job that is also shift work on an ad-hoc basis. So you don't need to commit and can sign up to shifts whenever he can look after your child.

I'll never believe that this government- or any UK government today- will make changes that truly help it's citizens. Only option is for people to help themselves