Inheritance -Family money?

[ZekeZeke]

Example:
Married 25 years, no mortgage both work.
2 adult children in University still living at home.(both working part time).
Widowed MIL dies. DH inherits £200,000
Is this family pot money?
DH Money?
DH and DW money?
DH ans DC money?

To us would be joint money as have all our finances through 3 x maternity leave, SAHM, husband made redundant etc etc.

@ComtesseDeSpair in many parts of the world, this is standard. Sorry people are being rude to you.

We have shared finances and make joint decisions on big expenses - it has always been the way for us but we have the same pov about money.
We have also always earned similar amounts so I am not sure whether we would have done things differently otherwise.
Any inheritance we receive is our/family money - most likely to reduce our mortgage.
Our DCs will be equal benefactors in our wills provided there is no major family fall out.

I suppose my attitude to it being family money comes from the fact that I gave up a well-paid job when our children were little and worked part-time for a couple of decades. DH has always had a good income. I'd have been pretty pissed off if he'd covered his 'share' of the bills and retained a hefty amount of disposable income. That would have been very unfair when my reduced working hours saved us a fortune in childcare costs. So we always pooled our finances and that approach just stayed with us and we applied it to inheritances.

I can understand if a couple earn equal amounts that they may want to keep a degree of separation in their finances.

I don’t think inheritance can really be seen as a “nice problem to have” unless you really dislike the person who died!

I would not consider it family money, but if it was an significant amount I’d expect my partner to choose to spend most of it on something that benefitted the family, or save / invest it, rather than spending it all on themselves.

Depends what the will said. My parents will only mentioned me by name. My PIL's will mentioned DH and me as inheriting one half, the other half was left to BIL and SIL.

But my inheritance from my parents paid off our mortgage and repaired the roof and replaced the double glazing and the inheritance from PILs allowed us to move to nicer property. So it effectively benefitted the family as a whole. I have the residue of my inheritance in an ISA in my name and DH has the residue of his in a savings account in his name.

But ultimately it's joint money, it's just spread around in different accounts.

Depends imo on how finances have always worked in the family and if a precedent has been set by any previous inheritance.
For me all money in is our money and that includes inheritance.
That's not the right way, but it is the right way for us.
What matters is not how it's viewed but that it's viewed the same way by both parties and they are happy with it and both want it that way.

In my marriage it would be family money but I'd expect to have something for myself, nothing massively though (picture or jewellery). I'd love for us to feel more financially secure.

I inherited money, DH has not yet. I am a SAHM and have no pension, he earns a huge amount. I view my parents money as belonging to me, and DH family money belonging to him. I used some of mine to top up the kids savings but the rest is my pension pot and future security if anything happens. When DH inherits, it will be all his, and I wouldn't dream of taking any of it. If we were struggling financially, then of course I'd use my inheritance to help out. It's all about circumstances

I would consider it joint/family money. We've been married over 25 years, have adult children, and have always shared finances. Both of us will inherit at some point (unless it gets swallowed up by care fees, which is a definite possibility). As things stand at the moment, I will inherit a lot more than my DH, but I will always consider it to be joint money. He's supported me financially at times over the years, and I've supported him. We're a team, and I can't imagine that inheriting money will change that.

Joint! God if either me or my husband inherited that amount separately then it would be used to pay mortgage, pay any debt for both, save, a lovely holiday.
If I inherited I would definitely use a few hundred to go on a nicely girl weekend or shopping spree and would expect my dh to do the same if he won, and he’d probably go to some music festivals but otherwise on the house, joint holidays, stuff for my son.

@ZekeZeke You have been married 25 years, it is joint between you and him imo. If he had pre-deceased his Mother, surely you would have still inherited the share once your MIL died?

I’ve never heard of a spouse inheriting from their in-laws in these circumstances - generally it would go to the grandchildren (or another relative if there aren’t any grandchildren)

If he had pre-deceased his Mother, surely you would have still inherited the share once your MIL died?

I think that would be quite unusual , would it not? Don't people usually leave it the grandchildren, in the event that they outlive their children?

My parents' will left their estate to me. If I predeceased them it went to our dcs. My in-laws did similar - everything to dh and, should he predecease them, everything to our dcs.

I doubt it - if my son dies before me, his share goes to his children, not to his widow

Was going to reply that it’s DH money and I’d hope he would use it to benefit the couple/family. However, a quick google search suggests that once you are married, inheritance is considered joint marital property such that it would be split in a divorce.

Coincidentally, I am writing a novel as part of a creative writing PhD where this blows up a significant plot point… so I now need to change some stuff, as I had no idea! Am also feeling a little more confident of my old age as I now know anything my DH inherits from his DPs will be mine too… [maniacal cackle].

We have joint money but I’d say that inheritance is that persons money eg in your case dh’s.

dh and I both inherited 4-5k each last year. It went on family holidays.

dh then inherited 30k from his mum, that’s his money to do as he wishes. Not my money to decide how it’s getting spent.

That’s not the case in Scotland. The Scottish courts do not consider any assets that were owned prior to the marriage, inherited during the marriage or obtained after the date of separation, to be included in the matrimonial pot.

Family money, on the whole. But we’ve always invested in that way as it makes financial sense.

We shared a recent inheritance across our investments as it was much more tax efficient. Filled up ISA/ pension allowances for the year, filled up kids’ allowances. Then the remainder went into a property, in DH name.

He did take a huge sum out to buy a vintage guitar though, which he and DS collected from California in an epic air/road trip. Can’t say I resent a penny of that. Maybe when I inherit I’ll buy a pony or something!

Was going to reply that it’s DH money and I’d hope he would use it to benefit the couple/family. However, a quick google search suggests that once you are married, inheritance is considered joint marital property such that it would be split in a divorce

that’s not necessarily true. My friend inherited 3/4 million just before her divorce and kept the lot, as well as more than 50% of his pension. Adult children only and she hadn’t worked for 25 years as it’s more fun to be a lady of leisure

I believe if an inheritance is used to buy things for the family (eg a home, car etc) this "converts" them to be part of the marriage assets.

Surely being married is pooling all resources? I would like DH to buy himself something really nice but keep most of it to use as a family

Is it not family money but DH might treat himself with some of it? What is your DH planning to do with it?

Assuming you are in England or Wales: Legally it’s DH and DW money.

In practice it’s usually whole family money.

If DH is trying to ring fence as DH money only, I would be concerned he had one foot out the door.