Inheritance -Family money?

[ZekeZeke]

Example:
Married 25 years, no mortgage both work.
2 adult children in University still living at home.(both working part time).
Widowed MIL dies. DH inherits £200,000
Is this family pot money?
DH Money?
DH and DW money?
DH ans DC money?

Well obviously but surely you’d have to be a bit of an arsehole to spend it all on yourself if the sum of money would make a significant difference to your family.

I was the inheritor in this circumstance. Was all family monet, I didn't even consider it not being. Me, my DH and our DC all benefit from it equally it's been split between various savings and ISAs in both mine and my husbands names and put into buying a bigger family home for us all. Just because it was my parents that died why would the money not be my husbands who I share everything equally with. The only reason it wouldn't be would be if he was an arsehole and I need some money to make my escape!

I’d say DH.
If/when my stepdad dies he has given a % of money each to me and my sister (his steps) and his 4 grandchildren. Rest goes to my mum and his my youngest sister (his daughter)
any money I receive is for me, not my husband.
However I know I would spend on us as a unit be it house or holiday etc.

In this family, it’d be DH and DW money. All money from whatever source has always been ‘ours’.
Not that I’m saying we wouldn’t pass hefty chunks to adult dcs, if needed for a particular purpose - we have previously done so with inheritances, or with part of them.

I think thats a bit sad really - Me and DH are a team, money coming in is ours.

He was a high earner before, and now I am the high earner.

My DF died, and he left a few k, less than 10, I got a new smart gadget, and the rest went on family stuff

Joint family inheritance. It would go into the family pot for us to save/use and probably put some aside for the kids. But I think it comes down to how you currently pool money. We are all in so it's all in so if you separate money then you may see it differently

Why is it sad? People are just different and different things work for different people, especially when it comes to money management.

DH and I are a team too but that doesn't mean that we are both entitled to money should one of us inherit any of it. It means that we both contribute our share of bills but other than that, our money is our own.

Works wonderfully for us.

I really don't think you'd be saying that if your DH actually pissed away £200k on frivolities when you've got a mortgage or kids to support. I think it's easy to say when it's hypothetical, or when you're assuming he would actually spend it sensibly.

Parents died, father after mother, and he insisted that money he gave me and siblings, from mothers estate was paid into a personal account separate from our spouses. He saw it as our inheritance not us and spouses.
I gave some to DC and put some away for retirement and paid for a major renovation in me and DHs house. Bought a couple of things for myself that were a few hundred £s.

@jm9138 theres a bit of a lack of awareness on this thread that people’s circumstances are so different and that life chances are determined to a great extent by how much money the family you were born into happened to have. And how lucky some of us are, and make no mistake inheritance really is simply luck. Reading it has made me feel sad too that such inequality exists. It’s just wrong.

Then why isn't everyone saying that? People simply have different opinions and that's fine.

DH and I have separate finances. Inheritance wouldn't change that.

I think its sad when you're married, have dc, a home etc and you don't share the highs as well as the lows

Don't mean to be rude, but if your DH 'ran out of money' would you help him out? would you expect to be paid back?

I think all of them are lying to themselves too. Nobody would be fine with their spouse wasting money just because it's "theirs". They just wouldn't.

Thank you. Yes I suppose I can take it for me, but it does make me sad that people cannot see that the advantage they can buy for themselves or their children through inheritance is a disadvantage they put on my children. Ah well, there is always winning the premium bonds or a government that actually gets tough on unearned income. I know which is more likely.

My husband wastes his money in my opinion all of the time but it's his money and as long as our shared bills are paid, he can do whatever he likes with the rest. An inheritance wouldn't magically change my mindset.

I think all of them are lying to themselves too. Nobody would be fine with their spouse wasting money just because it's "theirs". They just wouldn't.

Some of us aren’t money grabbing!

His money made from his parents hard earned cash …. Why should I feel entitled to it?

And as I said before I would feel wrong to splash out on my parents hard earned money.

It would go in my bank account and I would decide what I would do with it - and I would show respect to my parents/ grandparents

I inherited before Christmas - £1,000 - it’s in my bank and I haven’t decided if and when I’ll spend it - but it won’t be a family holiday. Im not ready to decide yet.

I don’t want to waste it. I do want to buy something as a reminder that will grow in value. I’ll k ow when I find it.

I wouldn't entertain a marriage with a man who wastes lots of money when you've got a young family to support. So I suppose we are all different.

£1k isn't to be sniffed at but it's not going to make the difference between you living one lifestyle and your husband living another. That is what would be very problematic IMO.
I honestly don't get the point of marriage if it's not to share all lifes ups and downs together.

Well, exactly. We're all different.

He doesn't see what he spends his money on as a waste and I'm sure he feels the same about many of the things I spend with my money.

I wouldn't entertain a marriage where all finances are pooled and with someone who wants a say in what I spend my money on after all shared bills are paid.

£1k isn't to be sniffed at but it's not going to make the difference between you living one lifestyle and your husband living another. That is what would be very problematic IMO.
I honestly don't get the point of marriage if it's not to share all lifes ups and downs together.

Hes likely to inherit ££££££ of serious money - I came from a very poor family. Hos lifestyle has always been very different to mine. His opportunities have always been very different to mine.

It certainly doesn’t give be the right to spend his money.

Why doesn't he want to spend it on you though? Doesn't sound like much of a marriage to me.

That's so sad.
You'd better hold your £1k close.

The money belongs to whom the deceased person leaves it, and no-one else. There are, occasionally, exceptions to this, most require going to court, and involve other children of the body of the deceased. However, one leaves one's estate to whomever one wishes. Until the moment of death, it IS that person's money to do with as they please. After, it belongs SOLELY to the designated beneficiary. Now, most married people with families DO share that money, in one way or another. They may not hand the spouse and children cash, but use the money for family expenses/treats. But it is not required, either legally or morally.

I would like to think it would be family money. My mum recently said when I get my share when she goes I must spend some on myself. It won't be much, but will probably spend it on the house, so much needs done and would rather that than just buy myself something. But with the way house prices are I would hope DH would put some into accounts for DCs future.

Surely it’s blindingly obvious and doesn’t need to be even stated that legally the inheritance belongs to the person to whom it was actually left.

Isn’t the only thing up for discussion whether it’s morally acceptable for the inheritor to spend it entirely on themselves when the family as a whole could benefit from say having the mortgage paid down/ family holiday or whatever.