To want to anonymously report a 12 year old for stealing

[TheArts]

How can I anonymously report a 12 year old for stealing food and drink from the school canteen? This child has been bullying my child for a year and I would love to get revenge by helping to get this kid caught for stealing from canteen on a daily basis....bottles of drinks, paninis, cakes, etc.
Financially well off family, they own 2 homes and parents are senior professionals, holiday overseas twice yearly, so no poverty as reason for stealing.
But I don't want any come back on my child who has already been bullied by this kid. So how can I report this anonymously, and how can the staff catch them? Obviously if staff are near by monitoring this kid then they won't steal. No CCTV in school canteen.
I know it's happening because my DC and their friends have all told me they see it happen every day, and it's in a 'shocked can't believe they're doing it' way, not in a snitching way.

They were all nonsense so maybe that poster was looking for a better answer.

Yeah I was gonna say - kids generally steal food only if they're hungry. I had plenty at home and would never have stealed food, may have stole clothes or something, but food in particular indicates hunger.

My mum was never given food by her parents - she went to private school and her parents had professional jobs. But she stole food on occasion because she was so hungry.

Bizarre OP thinks wealthy parents can't be abusive.

This started off as me asking for tips on how to anonymously report a student, but has actually turned into a few good posts about how to persevere with trying to deal with bullying, and I appreciate those posts.

They are in the minority though, as most posts defend the bully which is insane in my opinion, absolutely insane. Saying "We need to understand why this poor child is bullying". WTAF?! I know the family well and he's a spoilt, cosseted, horrible, lying, trouble making child whose mother believes every lie he tells and who tells everyone he's done nothing wrong and that the world is against her poor little child and says that if he's bullying then the child he's bullying must have done something to upset him.
Urgh. Why are posters defending this kid.

This kid IS NOT HUNGRY.
I know the family well.
Course I know wealthy parents can be abusive. Don't twist what I've said. Read ALL my posts.

I'm defending a 12 year old child against a fully grown adult who hates him and wants to hurt him.

I'm not defending him as the bully of your child. That's a separate matter - one you are making much, much worse with your emotional immaturity. Focus on your child.

Where have I said I want to hurt the bully?
Bizarre.
I said I want to report his daily stealing.
If I saw someone shoplifting in a shop I'd report them. Doesn't mean I would be hurting them by doing so.
You think reporting a 12 year old for stealing is hurting them?
Get a grip.

If the school can't deal with bullying due to lack of evidence I doubt they are going to deal with stealing with a similar lack of evil.
Like others I would say focus on supporting your child through the behaviour of the bully, and also make sure the school is following policy etc when they say they can't do anything further. Sometimes you can raise concerns with school governors if you don't think the school are dealing with bullying.
Don't get caught up looking for revenge: it distracts from the main issue and could make things worse for your dc.

When someone hurts your child, it does fill you with rage and hurt. I don’t know what to advise the OP, but I do not think it’s unusual that she is feeling such strong feelings towards a seemingly unpleasant 12-year-old. And yes, 12-year-olds can be unpleasant, and it does not always mean that they are being abused at home. I am not sure I could feel such peace and forgiveness to somebody if they hurt my child.

You clearly state that you want revenge. I.e. You want to cause harm to this child. You stated that you hate him.

You are extremely emotional immature and, rather than protecting your child, you are making the problem worse by modeling a harmful and counterproductive response.

You are the one who needs to "get a grip".

Why shouldn’t OP want revenge? This boy is bullying her child. She’s reported it through the official channels several times, and has been ignored. Any parent in this situation would be filled with anger, worry, and a huge sense of injustice. She can’t stop this boy bullying her son, and she can’t get him punished for it , but she could maybe get him punished for something else. And actually, kids stealing food affects everyone because it puts the prices up.

I would feel the same as you OP, and actually I’m sure everyone here would too, if their child was being bullied.

And the idea that the bully may have some obscure disease is laughable.

How do you know he’s stealing?

What a crock of shit

This bully is clearly a very unhappy kid so I think how rich he is is irrelevant here tbh. For example I stole food as a kid to fill in the hole from lack of love I felt!! (Did NOT bully though)

I’m not sure how you know this kid is stealing from the canteen (do you work in the canteen??) but if you do know then leave a voicemail on the school phone with withheld number? He clearly needs intervention and absolutely your son needs the bullying to stop, so intervention with bully will hopefully aid the outcome for your son.

If all the other dc reported the bullying as well as dc, the school might take notice. The fact is no child reports anything when it happens. They duck it. No teacher knows anything and a supply teacher has the same standards to adhere to as any permanent teacher. There is something wrong here. No one says a word about an alleged assault at the time but make excuses about why not. When dc are hurt they go to medical room. Other dc help.

There’s a lot of stuff here about disliking another woman. I think the school should set up mediation.

I suppose because children don't spoil themselves, do they? If that's the parenting this child recieves, he's a product of that. How will he ever have learned right from wrong if he's only ever been told that what he wants to do and 'right' are the same thing? A 12 year old who has recieved no moral guidance at home is still too young to have developed morality all by himself, so pp are cutting him some slack. His parents sound like they've (quite literally) ruined him, which is as sad for him as those who have to tolerate him. Personally I'd ask for a discrete conversation with the school. Talk about the bullying and mention the stealing.

Sure.

I don't think anyone is defending the bully - the one or two who are suggesting finding out “why” he’s a bully - fuck that - that’s of no concern to you. I do think the language you’re using about revenge and hate seems really strong and that’s why people are coming at you for it, but if someone was hurting my child I’d be the same.

The revenge idea won’t work anyway, you’ll not get to know how it’s dealt with and I suspect that it will be taken even less seriously than the bullying.

You need to escalate the bullying and not accept the head teachers response. Surely if your DCs life has been made a misery there has to be at least one witness of it? Anyway, regardless, the school needs to do something. If my child was physically assaulted and school or parents of the child did nothing I’d contact the police.

Children don’t just steal food because they are hungry - more often than not it is for attention. Maybe he’s lacking in it at home and is actually crying out for some boundaries. Being well off doesn’t mean he isn’t having a tough time at home.

this is in no way meant to belittle what you and your son are going through.

What revenge do you think you are going to get? he will get a detention at most. You need to deal with the bullying, and not concern yourself with the stealing

OK everyone, I've calmed down about the stealing now.
I think I went into a psychology of "Well he's getting away with the bullying at school so I'm not letting him get away with the stealing too!".
But the more sensible of you have pointed out that if the school won't act on bullying without evidence then they aren't likely to act on stealing without evidence either.
I still don't get the posters who are saying we need to understand what the poor bully is going through emotionally though.
Still, it might please these posters to know that the bully has flown to Disneyland with his family this weekend for a holiday, so rest assured posters, he will be getting lots of nice attention from his parents and lovely days out to cheer up his sadness and lots of delicious food that he won't have to steal at the all inclusive hotel they're staying at.

I've rarely read a more distasteful set of posts from an OP.

The idea that you want advice on reporting a 12 yo anonymously is vile.

If you felt it was an issue, report it in a normal way to the school.

If the school won't address the unacceptable bullying, escalate it or remove your DS. Of course it's awful he is being bullied but your retaliatory approach is deeply worrying.

I said on my original post that whether or not he has a good home life is not your problem and it isn't, you don't need to give a shit about why he is like he is, it's totally fine to focus on your child and getting the bullying stopped

But no one would be mentioning his home life if you hadn't dragged it in in the first place. You sound very "well we took you to stately homes" and your attitude is precisely the type of attitude that meant I was abused relentlessly my entire childhood, because my parents were too "nice" to be investigated.

It’s nothing to do with home life! This is bravado. Adrenalin rush. He’ll get a fast car at 20 and be a nuisance or worse with that. It’s brinkmanship and the dc should report it so they aren’t implicated by being there. Some dc are just like this.