To want to anonymously report a 12 year old for stealing

[TheArts]

How can I anonymously report a 12 year old for stealing food and drink from the school canteen? This child has been bullying my child for a year and I would love to get revenge by helping to get this kid caught for stealing from canteen on a daily basis....bottles of drinks, paninis, cakes, etc.
Financially well off family, they own 2 homes and parents are senior professionals, holiday overseas twice yearly, so no poverty as reason for stealing.
But I don't want any come back on my child who has already been bullied by this kid. So how can I report this anonymously, and how can the staff catch them? Obviously if staff are near by monitoring this kid then they won't steal. No CCTV in school canteen.
I know it's happening because my DC and their friends have all told me they see it happen every day, and it's in a 'shocked can't believe they're doing it' way, not in a snitching way.

Anonymously? Listen to yourself! Rather than dealing robustly and directly with the school (if reporting alone isn't working, you need to start escalating), you want cowardly petty 'anonymous' revenge on what may well be a troubled child. Be an adult, FFS.

They'll say exactly the same about the stealing.

If you are not happy with the way the bullying is being dealt with escalate to Head teacher and Governors and if still not happy Ofsted and the police

as to the stealing you only have your child’s word. And can I point out the fact the child has parents who seem to have money doesn’t mean they have a happy home life, you may consider them well fed but you don’t know what’s going on in the home and this could be their way of coping

its up to your child and his friends to report if they see anything rather than a grown adult trying to get payback on a child

Fgs OP simply report any issues with your own dc and stay out of it. It looks like your dc and friends are looking for ways to get revenge on this other kid which is pointless. If they are stealing and if they are as unpleasant as you suggest they will eventually get caught out. You can guarantee the school probably know about some of it and they will catch them red handed at some point. It is true that schools now do have to have evidence otherwise parents will automatically accuse people of lying or picking on their child.

@Wasbedeudetetdas that's a bit of a leap 🥴

If this kid is stealing things and bullying other children then he is clearly not a very happy child. There may be things going on in his home life that are making him behave this way.

If you want to talk to the school, this is would probably be the approach to take.

Unfortunately lots of parents want revenge on a child that bullies theirs. What they don’t do is step up and do anything about it that gets resolution with the school. As for the school saying they want evidence of bullying, the OPs child needs to step up and report this with the OP in person and insist on a meeting. So what is happening, how often and what effect it has on dc. It could be it’s not bullying of course. Just mutual dislike and possibly jealousy. The school will have a definition of what bullying is in its behaviour and anti bullying policy. However seeking revenge is a poor attitude but the OP should not accept pushback from the school about bullying. I would like to know what the bullying is though.

Often dc steal for bravado. Showing off and do it for an Adrenalin rush. This child knows others know he’s doing it so it’s a “look at me” activity that he knows he will get away with. It’s up to the dc who see it to report it. They seem very averse to doing the right thing. It’s surely not the just the OP’s dc who sees this? They could all report!

Keep reporting the bullying

Complaints procedure as they are not acting in it

Remember you are an adult and report the theft on the record because it's wrong and concerning that a child is behaving this way

Pack in the revenge stuff. I understand but you are an adult. Behave like a good example to your own child by standing up for them rather than joining in the poor behaviours.

Its a massive leap! Only on this site

The most likely reason is as others have pointed out, bravado, wanting to show off, seeking validation and attention and that would link in with the bullying, wanting to be in control which implies an unhappy child

He might not be being fed or he might have a disorder but the most likely reason is the most common reason, things arent great for him and he's an angry, aggressive and controlling child.

Well if the school aren't doing anything about the bullying because there's no evidence then they're not likely to listen to a parent accusing a child of stealing who hasn't even seen it for themselves!!!
If the child is bullying and stealing then I'd hazard a guess he's a very unhappy boy.

Perhaps.
It's no worse than OP confidently concluding the child has no food related issues though.

The efforts that people go to to excuse poor behaviour is astounding. Maybe, just maybe child is a thieving bully.

Report it to the HOY but don’t be anonymous. If they choose to do nothing about it, that is a matter for them.

I am not saying it IS that, simply highlighting that there are a lot of things OP doesn't know anything about regarding the child.

This can’t be serious, surely? Are you the child?

Going to efforts to discover why a child bullies, why a child steals, why a child does anything negative is probably a good idea. It doesn't justify the behaviour but it does help tackle it.

It’s not ops job to do that tho and none of us will know so its for op to highlight to school and for school to address.

If nobody raises the issue of the stealing then how can anyone deal with the cause. But back to my original point, it could just be bad behaviour, there doesn’t always have to be a sob story behind it.

Focus your anger on the school for not dealing with the bullying and to find ways to take it seriously. 😧

Where did I say it was OP's job?
I was responding to your post just labelling children as 'thieving bullies' - that's far from helpful, for anyone.

This

Deal with the bullying instead of something you don't even know for sure is happening. You're the adult here

But your point was about investigating the cause of the thieving and the bullying. OP can’t do this but she can report to school who can investigate the cause.

So many people are of the mind that you shouldn’t highlight issues at school because that child might have problems. Who’s going to sort the issues of nobody highlights them.

Oh, and some people, including children, are just thieving bullies 🤷‍♀️ and get away with it because nobody does anything.

No one is suggesting the OP doesn't highlight issues at school, most of the posts are reccomending she focuses on the bullying rather than "revenge"

The comments about his home life are driving by the OPs blithe assumptions that middle class children can't be abused. If she hadn't mentioned that people probably wouldn't be discussing that side of the situation at all

Go to the local education authority about the bullying then, instead of trying to get revenge some other way.

In my career, one of the worst cases of neglect and domestic violence was perpetrated by a solicitor. The facts are this child is stealing food, drink, and bullying other children. The child is literally crying out for help.

Do an anonymous referral via NSPCC about the food and drink stealing if you don't want to speak to the school. Not to punish the child, to support them.

No, my point was that writing a child off as a 'thieving bully', as you have, isn't helpful to anyone.
Nobody is 'just a thieving bully' in isolation because there is always more to it.

School have made it clear that they are not doing anything about the bullying. Plenty of people have said don’t report the stealing. I disagree.
I also think it is highly unlikely that a wealthy child is being deprived of food at home. But of course it’s a possibility which is all the more reason to tell the school about the stealing. And yes, if my child was being bullied and I felt that school was not doing anything, I would also raise other poor behaviour on the part of bully child.