To want to anonymously report a 12 year old for stealing

[TheArts]

How can I anonymously report a 12 year old for stealing food and drink from the school canteen? This child has been bullying my child for a year and I would love to get revenge by helping to get this kid caught for stealing from canteen on a daily basis....bottles of drinks, paninis, cakes, etc.
Financially well off family, they own 2 homes and parents are senior professionals, holiday overseas twice yearly, so no poverty as reason for stealing.
But I don't want any come back on my child who has already been bullied by this kid. So how can I report this anonymously, and how can the staff catch them? Obviously if staff are near by monitoring this kid then they won't steal. No CCTV in school canteen.
I know it's happening because my DC and their friends have all told me they see it happen every day, and it's in a 'shocked can't believe they're doing it' way, not in a snitching way.

Nah, that's not funny either.

That is very true

I was bullied at Infants through to Primary by one Girl .
She used to mainly pull my bunches or plaits and seemed jealous of my ribbons so my Mum, hoping it might cease, bought her some ribbons as well./// to no avail.

Mum told Me that she, the girl, came from a rough family and she is probably bullied at Home (turns out this was True) so bullies at school.
I forgive Her and hope her life turned out a lot better than her childhood years had been

I haven't seen anyone suggesting that the child accept the bullying because there is a reason

All I have seen is a thread full of posters advocating for the OP to concentrate on tackling the bullying issue rather than unrelated revenge taking

School say until they have evidence of it they can't do anything.

Bullshit, this is a line they trot out to shut you up.

If they won’t do anything about your son being bullied, An anonymous tip off over stealing won’t galvanise them into action either.

Go back to your son’s school and remind them of their safeguarding responsibilities to your son. If they continue not to listen, escalate it.

If you want to report anonymously then that is a clear sign that you don’t feel you’re right about doing it. So don’t do it.

If the school are refusing to 'see'' evidence of the bullying, they are unlikely to act on a suggestion that one specific child is stealing pop and sandwiches. As you say, they seem keen on evidence but I doubt they would have the resources to gather it. They can't (or will claim they can't) watch that kid for the whole lunchbreak. If you really do want to make a complaint it might be better directly to the kitchen manager, or the catering company operating the kitchen. I guess you could phone them up, they wouldn't recognise your voice would they? Or use a burner email? And just say you are a concerned parent, without giving your name? I honestly wouldn't bother though. The kid will do worse in his life than that and no doubt will be punished by the police. The bullying thing is unacceptable though so that needs addressing properly by the head.

So basically you want to bully a child? Come off it. This can’t be real. No one is as awful as you.

Revenge is a terrible motivation. And on a child? No.

Tbh I probably would. I’m sorry about your son @TheArts, and I hope he’s ok.
My children have been bullied.

It's the Head who's told me they can't act on no evidence of bullying.
My DC was physically assaulted by this bullying, at school lunchtime. DC couldnt find a teacher to report to. Bell went for lessons so DC went to lesson, having just been assaulted, didnt tell class teacher because it was a supply who DC didn't feel comfortable talking to, then came home and told me immediately after school. I reported to Head next morning. Head asked the bully "Did you assault TheArts DC yesterday?". Bully lied and said "No". Head told me "It didn't happen because the bully said they didn't do it to your DC. There is no evidence of it happening, no witnesses, so there's nothing I can do without bully admitting it or evidence".
The bully isn't fat by the way. Not sure where that's come from.
I know the bully's family very well. The mother won't have a word said against her precious bully. About 5 other kids that I know have all stopped being friends with this bully over past 2 years because they don't like the controlling angry behaviour they the bully display towards friends. But the bully's mother insists it is all their fault, all 5 of them, not her precious bully's fault who she insists does nothing wrong. And she's told me it's my DC fault that her kid is bullying my DC. According to the mother, my DC is to blame for being bullied by her kid. She told me that if her kid is bullying my DC then there must be something my DC is doing to upset her bullying kid.
So I don't care how immature or nasty I sound. I can categorically say I hate this bully. And I could not care less what the reasons are for him bullying. He's a nasty, controlling, angry liar. He's made my DC's life unbearable.
And when he steals food and drinks from the canteen, he boasts about it to peers, laughing at how easy it is to steal. He's already eaten his packed lunch of homemade food but then steals cos he thinks it's funny.
When did it become a thing to support bullies???? I thought we were supposed to have zero tolerance to bullying!!!!!

To answer your actual question, a lot of schools use software called "whisper" where you can report things anonymously. Have a look on the school website to see if they have a link to it.

I mean you could, but it wouldn't stop the bullying.

Could you ask your son to keep a diary of every time he is harassed or physically assaulted? Having a written account of all the incidents might lead to a more serious enquiry. Can you take it higher up?

Definitely kick up a fuss about the bullying, I wish you all the best and hope you can get it resolved.

Hating a child, OP, and wanting to take revenge. That's really low. You are a big part of the problem here.

Your anger is mainly misplaced. If the school won't do anything about what seems like obvious bullying then it's a massive issue and there have been numerous posts on here and threads in the past about how to get the school to improve their approach.

Re the food stuff, you sound ridiculous - and like a bit of a bully.

Clearly, the point is you want to enact incredibly petty revenge on a child. Jesus Christ man. You report the bulling, you follow up with the school, you raise an official complaint and go down the correct route you pull your kid out of school if you have to. You've allowed a child, who doesn't sound likes he's had the best parental upbringing to get under your skin to the point you do something like this.

I thought we were supposed to have zero tolerance to bullying!!!!!
The stealing and the bullying aren't linked and you're too clouded by anger to see that. It won't stop the bullying either.

Setting aside completely the issue of hating a 12 year old, what does that achieve? Nothing, other than burning up your energy OP. You need to focus on the critical issue which is the bullying of your child. Focus fully on dealing with that, not on any feelings you have about this other child. That’s the only way to make this situation better. Revenge won’t do that, in fact it could make it worse for your child.

Don't accept that. Pretty obviously, bullies are always careful to do their bullying where it won't be detected. That doesn't mean that the victim must be automatically disbelieved - the school can't conceivably say there is no evidence when they have evidence from the victim. A good bullying policy will make that clear. It is utterly ridiculous, and grossly unprofessional, for the head to claim that if a bully denies their actions that must mean they didn't happen.

Print off copies of the school's safeguarding, discipine and bullying policies, ask or an urgent meeting with the head, head of year, form teacher and other relevant staff, and go through what they are doing to implement those policies. Ideally take someone with you to take notes, or else record the meeting (don't bother to ask for permission, under the Data Protection Act you are perfectly entitled to record meetings for your own use). Emphasise in particular the safeguarding aspect, and make it clear you want to come out of that meeting with a plan in place to keep your child safe from now on. It should include arrangements for your child to be able to know that there is someone they can go to if they are bullied and they will be believed. Write up notes of the meeting afterwards and send them to the school so they know you are not going to forget about what has been agreed.

If they won't do that, get the school's complaints policy and follow that. Also consider referring the whole issue to the council's safeguarding officer.

When your DC was physically assaulted, were there bruises or cuts? How did the school account for those if bullying didn't happen?

If there is any recurrence, take photographs, and consider getting your GP's surgery to document the injuries.

Why does every single incident of poor behaviour mean that a child has some undiagnosed condition?
I never hear this in real life but it's the norm on here.

All sorts of people making excuses for the boy but he sounds thoroughly unpleasant. I wonder if it was their child that was being bullied if they would be quite so charitable.

Op, just email the head of year. They’re not going to mention any names and will then be able to keep an eye on the situation. If your child is being bullied then this can also be addressed at the same time.

With regards to no CCTV, you may be surprised and there is a camera in the canteen.

I, for one, would be more interested in the bullying to start with and would tackle the possible theft afterwards.

The problem is, parents look for an excuse to minimise the behaviour so they don’t feel as bad, and poor Jonnie isn’t an actual pain in the arse.

When looking to suspend or PEx a student, it always comes down to choice of the individual. Could they have not done it in the first place? Could they have stopped?

Did you miss all my other replies to comments like yours?

Do not seek to get revenge on a child. This is none of your business. The bullying is the thing to address.

Have the courage of your convictions and report it with your name attached. Revenge on a child ffs!