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AIBU?

Are all young boys like this?

93 replies

Genuinelyenquiring · 07/02/2024 20:47

Every thread I read about difficult behaviour in younger children is always about a boy (or very rarely about little girls anyway).

In your experience, are all little boys prone to noise, aggression and defiance or is it just skewed more that way?

I'm not trying to be goady - I'm genuinely interested.

Did anyone have daughters who were harder work than their sons at a young age?

OP posts:
Dogdilemma2000 · 07/02/2024 20:48

No my son is not aggressive in any way. Gentler than his sister.

Thistooshallpass. · 07/02/2024 20:49

No . My son was very gentle, kind and sensitive as a young boy . Still is as an adult .

missmollygreen · 07/02/2024 20:49

No, just like all girls are not the same.

HirplesWithHaggis · 07/02/2024 20:51

I have two sons, now adults with toddler daughters. From their descriptions of the girls' behaviour, I reckon I had a waaaay easier time!. Perhaps my memories have faded, but I don't recall any tantrums as awful as those of dgd2 in particular. Both girls recently turned 3.

AuntyMabelandPippin · 07/02/2024 20:51

As a Mum of four boys and someone that's worked with children for 25 years plus, no, they're not all like that.

Most are though. 😂 They're just more lively, want to run around and 'do' stuff, rather than sit and colour.

They're lovely though.

Wishicouldthinkofagoodone · 07/02/2024 20:51

Confirmation bias.

people stereotype boys as noisy and aggressive, so notice when they are. They don’t see the ones sitting quietly etc.

also boys tend to have more leeway with that kind of behaviour. Girls will be immediately told off for fighting, boys aren’t as it’s seen as normal “boy” behaviour.

girls are expected, and effectively “trained” to sit nicely, draw, not run around etc.

Octavia64 · 07/02/2024 20:51

Not all of them are.

The same levels of aggression are considered more acceptable in boys than girls - parents and others respond more to agresssion in girls.

willingtolearn · 07/02/2024 20:51

No. Boys, like girls come in a variety of personalities and behavioural proclivities.

Equally children are different at different stages in their life as they grow and develop, an easy baby may be a difficult toddler, may be a quiet school child, might become an extroverted teenager.

Zanatdy · 07/02/2024 20:52

I’ve got 2 boys and a girl - 30, 19 and almost 16. My boys were never any trouble, in particular my 19yr old. Both quite homely boys but also quite outgoing and popular. DD has been harder but in more emotional ways, her behaviour is good too. All 3 go against all the sulky horrible teens you read about. But my boys were certainly never in trouble or doing what people might assume boys do. In my opinion it was a bit easier at least emotionally raising a boy but it does depend on so many factors

DinnaeFashYersel · 07/02/2024 20:53

missmollygreen · 07/02/2024 20:49

No, just like all girls are not the same.

Absolutely this

Wishicouldthinkofagoodone · 07/02/2024 20:53

AuntyMabelandPippin · 07/02/2024 20:51

As a Mum of four boys and someone that's worked with children for 25 years plus, no, they're not all like that.

Most are though. 😂 They're just more lively, want to run around and 'do' stuff, rather than sit and colour.

They're lovely though.

Ime experience a lot of girls want to run around and “do” stuff as well. Mine certainly did. They hated sitting and colouring.

much is social expectation.

TrixieFatell · 07/02/2024 20:53

Another quiet, sensitive and kind boy here.

Winnipeggy · 07/02/2024 20:54

Of all the young children I know, the girls are MUCH harder work than the boys.

Also just in general, I have a DD and I go to lots of toddler groups etc, and it's always the girls that are snatching, throwing, refusing to share etc.

I'm sure its even stevens generally but in my experience boys are way sweeter

coxesorangepippin · 07/02/2024 20:54

DS is ten and definitely less prone to agression than DD, 7.

I suppose I do find that surprising

Ovaltiner · 07/02/2024 20:54

I have four DC, 2 boys, 2 girls.

They are all completely different from one another. They boys are often quite lively with one another but dynamics change according to who else is present. Both were the most loving little ones and remain very thoughtful in one to one conversation.

One of my DDs, by contrast, remains capable of starting riots at bedtime and has for most of her 16 years.

Sdpbody · 07/02/2024 20:54

I actually think parents (mainly mums) are not as firm on their sons as they are on their daughters which leads to worst behaviours. The two boys who are difficult in my children's class, have two parents who do not parent well.

Beautyofthedark · 07/02/2024 20:55

Yep, my seven year old girl is rougher, more energetic and louder than her five year old brother.

coxesorangepippin · 07/02/2024 20:55

I have to say though that DS needs far, far more physical exercise than DD. At least three times more

Cheepcheepcheep · 07/02/2024 20:56

I have a girl (3) and a boy (nearly 2)

So far:

  • girl is more fiesty and aggressive
  • boy is more chilled and emotional
  • both have been screamers until their language kicked in
  • boy has less fear and will throw himself from heights
  • girl is more cautious


I did gender studies as part of my degree and I’m not blind to the differences that social expectations put on kids. But I think children are their own selves. For what it’s worth, based on my own very limited sample, I think birth order is much more impactful than sex.
Boobettes · 07/02/2024 20:57

If you're not trying to be goady OP, are you not embarrassed about your thread title?

CatherinedeBourgh · 07/02/2024 20:58

I disagree with many on here that boisterousness is more tolerated in boys than in girls. My experience is the opposite. I've been in situations where a boy and a girl were doing the exact same thing, the boy was tutted about and the girl wasn't.

With my own, I had a boy who loved pink. We noticed that when he was wearing pink, people tolerated rowdy behaviour much better than when he wasn't. He'd get comments, like 'oh, she's brave' when he was skiing fast, for example, whereas when he was wearing other colours and skiing exactly the same way it was 'he'll crash into someone'.

Idtotallybangdreamoftheendlessnotgonnalie · 07/02/2024 20:58

Thinking of my son aged 3-4 in comparison to my daughter at the same age, he struggled a lot more with emotional regulation and coping with frustration, particularly when tired or hungry.

Both had similar levels of empathy and knowing right from wrong though. Both were as energetic as each other.

iamveryearlytoday · 07/02/2024 20:59

For what it’s worth, based on my own very limited sample, I think birth order is much more impactful than sex.
This is my observation of my DDs, too. Both love to play rough and tumble around - I don't stop them unless one is genuinely hurt or they're doing something dangerous - but the younger one is just totally wild.

SouthLondonMum22 · 07/02/2024 21:01

Of course not. All boys are different, just as all girls are different.

DS is only 14 months but so far he is quiet, cautious and reserved. His keyworker described him as 'quietly confident' recently which is accurate, at least right now anyway.

Nofilteritwonthelp · 07/02/2024 21:01

From my observations some boys can be quite loud and run around, but there's far more girls who scream, pinch and are actually very nasty from a very young age. I took my little one about 18m to a playgroup and so many girls would not let the baby anywhere near what they were doing, they'd turn around so the baby couldn't go near them and say "mine". Never noticed similar behaviour with any boys, although a few may push. Boys seem to have more energy, but they're also nicer and more easygoing

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