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AIBU?

Are all young boys like this?

93 replies

Genuinelyenquiring · 07/02/2024 20:47

Every thread I read about difficult behaviour in younger children is always about a boy (or very rarely about little girls anyway).

In your experience, are all little boys prone to noise, aggression and defiance or is it just skewed more that way?

I'm not trying to be goady - I'm genuinely interested.

Did anyone have daughters who were harder work than their sons at a young age?

OP posts:
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Hankunamatata · 07/02/2024 23:05

All mine have adhd so sitting quietly was never on the cards. Not aggressive though and very loving and cuddly.

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Teenagehorrorbag · 07/02/2024 23:11

I hate to stereotype but it is true that a lot of boys are very active and 'busy' when small, and maybe look for more external stimulation than girls. Some girls are better at sitting and reading or drawing etc. But both of those comments are sweeping generalisations and of course all children are different.

I had boy/girl twins, and DS was much harder work right from birth. By age 2 it was clear there was more at play and he was later diagnosed with ASD and ADHD. He was quite challenging, especially out and about - and would not hold hands or wear reins so I used to run after him with my hand hovering above his harness hook. DD was a star and would just wait wherever I told her. She was an angel baby and an easy child all through primary.

Everyone used to say - 'wait until they are teenagers - it will be the other way round'!

Again a huge stereotype, but now they are 15 I can sort of see the logic. To be fair, they are now both great kids and DS - while he does still have social and academic challenges - is the loveliest boy and we always joke and say he's 'no trouble'. DD is also lovely, but she is higher maintenance in terms of her friendship issues at school, her complaints about teachers, her disagreements with the uniform policy etc etc etc. All very minor stuff - she is well behaved at school and does quite well - but we do laugh at home and say how gobby and argumentative she can be. She's very confident (which is good) but can answer back and moan about really minor stuff. Don't get me wrong - she's great fun and 90% perfect, but we are finding it slightly true that girls can be trickier than boys during the teenage years.

All that said - we have a few more years yet and are keeping our fingers crossed.....😁

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Boomer1964 · 07/02/2024 23:14

Sorry but my son was much easier than my daughter. She had numerous tantrums daily and was just generally difficult. Frankly I didn't want another baby after all the issues as it made me feel inadequate.

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SgtJuneAckland · 07/02/2024 23:15

You've clearly not met my niece, I love the bones of the girl and she makes me laugh, she's an absolute character and I can't wait for her to grow up. I would be beside myself trying to parent her though. Wilful is an understatement, active, fussy with food, tantrums off the charts, stubborn, defiant.
DS has his moments and is active and likes to talk but as long as he's exercised and fed frequently he's pretty well behaved and can be reasoned with. We can also take him to restaurants, theatre, museums etc without concern.
There's only about a month difference in age between them, both 5.

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Gettingbysomehow · 07/02/2024 23:18

My DS was sometimes noisy when playing imaginary battles but most of the time he loved drawing and as an adult is a professional artist.
He wasn't one for tearing about the house like a wrecking ball.

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Draconis · 07/02/2024 23:26

None of the boys I know are like you said. I have boys and girls in my family and friendship circles and they're all fairly well behaved.
Regular exercise helps a lot and we're an active bunch always taking dc out and making sure they're running off plenty of energy and being stimulated mentally as well.
Teenagers need this too.

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Cavewomansue · 07/02/2024 23:28

Don’t recognise that in my DSs.

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InAPickle12345 · 07/02/2024 23:36

One boy here, early teens and he's honestly a dream. Blind spots like everyone else but a good, honest, kind and gentle soul who wants the best for everyone and I adore his boyishness! (And he seems much easier going than my friends daughters 🙈) I wouldn't know how to be a girl Mom! He has a great little circle of friends who seem to enjoy him as well. I

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Weeteeny · 07/02/2024 23:39

My two boys, now young adults have never been aggressive in childhood or teenage years.
I'd say playful, inquisitive ,funny and kind. They worked off a lot of energy with sports as many children do. I am a kind of quiet calm non shouty individual myself maybe that helps.
I have two nieces who were the same as my boys . Of course different personalities but none wildly behaved.
Don't think we can generalise behaviours due to sex we are all individuals and of course there is an element of learned behaviour

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LWSnow · 07/02/2024 23:41

My DD is fierce , kind , climbed trees when young, ambitious
My DS is also kind, gentle, non sporty quiet, laid back

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angelikacpickles · 07/02/2024 23:43

My DD was a nightmare between the ages of 2.5 and... I'm not sure. Started with terrible twos and just went on for years. My DS as a small child was a breeze by comparison.

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Marchintospring · 07/02/2024 23:51

I think kids come in all hues.
However there are patterns in behaviours.

Personally I do think boys are simpler and girls more complex. There’s no judgement over how this presents.

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WithACatLikeTread · 07/02/2024 23:59

AuntyMabelandPippin · 07/02/2024 20:51

As a Mum of four boys and someone that's worked with children for 25 years plus, no, they're not all like that.

Most are though. 😂 They're just more lively, want to run around and 'do' stuff, rather than sit and colour.

They're lovely though.

My daughter was like that. She still is at seven. 😬🤣

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Marchintospring · 08/02/2024 00:15

WithACatLikeTread · 07/02/2024 23:59

My daughter was like that. She still is at seven. 😬🤣

cool. Interesting to see if that’s her at 14. I mean hopefully ,yes?

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Teenagehorrorbag · 08/02/2024 00:32

Marchintospring · 08/02/2024 00:15

cool. Interesting to see if that’s her at 14. I mean hopefully ,yes?

Hard to know I think. But my DD was a placid and easy baby, a mostly perfect toddler (her one big failing was that she could not learn not to pull all the wall paper off the wall, it's now painted......😁), a pretty easy pre-teen and and a now slightly argumentative teen.

But she was always active and into sport and exercise. She is very dyslexic and can't read well, but loved painting and loom bands and hama beads etc - but so did DS to be fair. As teens they both do spend hours on their phones - but also love horseriding, cycling, swimming and physical stuff. DD (15) isn't into make up or boys (or girls) or music, and I used to think that would one day change overnight, but I don't think that any longer. She hates skirts and dresses and her prom outfit is trousers (but with a fab waistcoat, blazer and high heels)! She isn't at all gender-fluid or unsure who she is - totally the opposite! But still loves climbing trees and riding her bike! Long may it last!

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tolerable · 08/02/2024 01:02

er.nope
i have 2 sisters-we wers/well aware of each others "abilities"awful.
i ot 2 boys
they are so sweet n kind and nice and lovely( ds1 28.ds2 13.)could be ya reap what you sew/sow..i never know what ones right

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HarrietTheFireStarter · 08/02/2024 01:42

Yes, all little boys are the same and all little girls are the same just like all parents are the same and live identical lives in identical homes.

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mondaytosunday · 08/02/2024 01:51

Yes it was broadly in the families I know, sure girls can be sneaky and defiant, but I found the boys louder, more active, more aggressive than the girls.
My post natal group that extended beyond the class for three years. Three girls, one boy (mine). Every week we met up and the kids played, crawled and eventually all ran around together, but often sat and played at a table. Then one mum brought a friend and she had a son. Suddenly he and my boy had big sticks and started whacking things. The girls sat and played together and the boys just ran around being loud. It was an interesting contrast.
But this is general - some boys will be gentler, some girls will be boisterous. I wouldn't say boys are difficult. Though my son was in detention about five times a term and my daughter never...

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hellothere247 · 08/02/2024 06:19

No my boy is very kind and easier than my girl. He's a bit more excitable and boisterous. He's like a puppy.

DD is a bit more complex, she is a good girl but has been more hard work especially as a toddler.

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hungryhiphop · 08/02/2024 06:23

No.

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MissMelanieH · 08/02/2024 06:25

In your experience, are all little boys prone to noise, aggression and defiance or is it just skewed more that way?

No my ds is not at all like this, he is sweet natured and will back away from any wrestling/aggressive type play with a look of horror on his face.

I also teach and classes tend to be 80% boys. There's a wide variety of personality types in both boys and girls and it really is impossible to make sweeping generalisations.

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Glittering1 · 08/02/2024 06:51

I have two girls and one boy, 11,14 and 15. My son is the youngest. He is the most kind, gentle and thoughtful out of all my children and definately easier than my girls. You can't generalise.

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WithACatLikeTread · 08/02/2024 07:08

My son is nearly two. He climbs like any boy but so far is a very quiet, gentle boy. My was, and is a whirlwind with so much energy and very fiery.

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Plumtop11 · 08/02/2024 07:32

Nope my boys are lovely and chilled. One of my best friends had one of each and her daughter is challenging but her boys is no trouble.

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171513mum · 08/02/2024 07:32

Of course not all boys are like that and not all girls are quiet. Children are all different. But having worked with a lot of small children as well as raising three, I would say it is overall much more common for boys to be more physical, rough and tumble and noisy. Defiance I'd say is more of a girl thing though.

I have a boy after two girls and he is a calm one, not given to wrestling etc which is what I see/saw among boy siblings of friends. But he was still a much more physical 'boyish' character as a toddler by comparison to the girls.

Stereotypes exist because people extrapolate observed characteristics to a whole group. Enough people observe boys behaving 'boyishly' for them to make assumptions about a whole cohort.

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