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AIBU?

Are all young boys like this?

93 replies

Genuinelyenquiring · 07/02/2024 20:47

Every thread I read about difficult behaviour in younger children is always about a boy (or very rarely about little girls anyway).

In your experience, are all little boys prone to noise, aggression and defiance or is it just skewed more that way?

I'm not trying to be goady - I'm genuinely interested.

Did anyone have daughters who were harder work than their sons at a young age?

OP posts:
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WolfFoxHare · 07/02/2024 21:01

My son is kind and gentle and loving. He’s also full of energy, a bit clumsy and noisy. He’s a handful but he’s never defiant or naughty or bad tempered, just absolutely full of bounce and bumptiousness.

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BigBoysDontCry · 07/02/2024 21:02

Not bad in any real way, but in my wider family, the boys tend to be shy and compliant and the girls are feisty and wild.

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Pssspsss · 07/02/2024 21:03

My daughter can be a nightmare. She’s strong willed fiesty opinionated defiant moody can give it out with the lip and the attitude and will quite happily give someone the finger if they piss her off.

She does know right from wrong. She’s just not afraid to tell it how it is and express her feelings.

Shes also incredibly loving, caring, kind, funny and thoughtful - when she wants to be - and that gives me hope for her future.

shes 10 and had been like this since quite young. I think the next few years are gonna be rocky but we’ll get through it I guess.

the girls in her class- some of them are proper little 🤬🤬🤬 in the making. Very entitled, self centred and mememe and cause a lot of issues

the boys seem to be less of a handful. Some of them are incredibly sweet natured. I can’t say that about any of the girls.

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UtredSonOfUtred · 07/02/2024 21:04

Absolutely not, my son is very quiet and gentle. As a toddler, I used to worry about him because all the other little boys at toddler groups and at preschool were pretty boisterous and I thought DS would really struggle to fit in. He was so sensitive and would cry alot! He’s 8 now and loads more confident, lovely group of mates and very sporty, but still one of the quieter kids in his class. I’m obviously biased, but he’s a really lovely thoughtful kid with alot of emotional intelligence.

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wowzamate · 07/02/2024 21:06

You obviously haven't read the post about a grandmother who has a mean granddaughter?

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ItsAllGoingWrongNow · 07/02/2024 21:08

I disagree with many on here that boisterousness is more tolerated in boys than in girls. My experience is the opposite. I've been in situations where a boy and a girl were doing the exact same thing, the boy was tutted about and the girl wasn't

I totally agree with this. My experience has always been that the first sign of aggression is stamped on immediately with boys for fear they turn into monsters. With girls they are feisty, or strong willed or full of character, etc.

That's just been my observation but I do think I also did it with my own children. I was so much harder and stricter on my DS as a toddler, as I was so worried he'd been seen as naughty and rough, for doing the exact same as my girls who are seen as standing their ground or at worst being bossy.

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BigBoysDontCry · 07/02/2024 21:09

Whilst my nephew was collecting soaps and playing with his little bean baby in a matchbox, his younger sister was removing her own stabilisers with a spanner, teaching herself to ride her bike at age 2 and riding down the stairs of their house in a cardboard box.

Her dad (my brother) bought her a lovely new pink bike with sparkly tassels but she'd requested a bmx and refused to ride the pink one.

Meanwhile my nephew is sucking his crisps so as not to disturb anyone by crunching them 😂

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HowNice23 · 07/02/2024 21:10

Two sons now teenagers and nope never aggressive or grabby. Maybe a bit louder when they were younger.

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Capmagturk · 07/02/2024 21:10

My two daughters are harder than my son, my eldest dd is a nightmare.

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user2207 · 07/02/2024 21:10

That is such stereotyping. My boy is loving, gentle, loves cuddles still (pre- teen), can be very emotional and can spend ages building lego or minecraft, read etc. At his age my dd was much more full on. So much depends on the child.

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lunar1 · 07/02/2024 21:14

My friends who are mums of teenage girls would highly disagree. I have two sons in secondary, their friendships are easy, no falling out, my sons have hobbies, do their homework.

They have never been disruptive, noisy or fought.

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ChihuahuasREvil · 07/02/2024 21:14

No, not all boys are like that, and no, not all children who are like that are boys.

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Beezknees · 07/02/2024 21:16

I don't have daughters so I can't compare but my DS has never been difficult. Never tantrummed as a toddler, always well behaved at school, never even had a detention.

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TheFairyCaravan · 07/02/2024 21:24

I have 2 sons, aged 29 & 27. Neither are aggressive, shouty or boisterous. Both were incredibly well behaved at school, neither of them had a detention. I’ve never had an argument with DS1. He’s the most placid, calm person on this planet. He didn’t have a tantrum, either as a toddler. I don’t know where he came from, tbh.

DS2 liked running around, but not in an uncontrolled manner, he was very sporty. He, also, liked playing with dolls and is very caring. He decided he wanted to be a nurse when he was about 5, and never changed from that.

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DinaofCloud9 · 07/02/2024 21:27

No I have 2 sons, both gentle and not wilful at all. My two friends both have a boy then a girl and say their girls are the wild ones and their boys are sensitive and quiet.

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FieldInWhichFucksAreGrownIsBarren · 07/02/2024 21:38

No I wouldn't agree, DS is fairly boisterous but also far more cuddly and affectionate than his older sister who may seem outwardly quiet but is more than capable of letting you know when something doesn't suit, regularly and loudly.
I can also state the same for myself and my DB who wouldn't say boo to a goose but I'll happily go toe to toe with any man.

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selfishmeow · 07/02/2024 21:39

I have a ds exactly described in the op but he has a huge heart and has empathy. He is very caring and kind but he is very energetic and can be very wilful but mainly towards me. He is very popular among the boys in his class but not so much with the girls although his best friends were girls from pre school who we still meet as they love playing together. I've witnessed a couple of times with the girls in his current class deliberately pushing ds and a few other boys out during a bday party and on separate occasions during drop off and pick up making mean comments. All in all, I think it's all personality as I've seen boys who are much calmer and girls who were similar like my ds.

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PickleSarnie · 07/02/2024 21:44

I've no daughters but I have two sons. Neither have ever been aggressive and no noisier than any other child. As someone mentioned above, I think it's confirmation bias at play for you.

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Firebird83 · 07/02/2024 21:45

My DS is the most gentle child I’ve ever met. My DD is the wild child.

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enya39 · 07/02/2024 21:51

I’m a Mum of 3 boys and 1 girl and aunt of 5 boys and 3 girls.

Also worked with/taught kids for 14 years.

I would say that about 10% of very young Neurotypical kids do have a tendency to be quite destructive (you know - break things, smash things, wrestle, that kind of “harmless til someone gets hurt” stuff). And I would argue that “that kid” is almost always a boy. In fact, it’s always a boy. I had one (grew out of it c. 5), I have one nephew (again grew out of it c. 5/6). I’d also argue in my plentiful experience of birthday parties that the boys are more lively and loud and play up more than the girls.

I don’t know why it is. Maybe we women are just more sophisticated 😆

But my goodness boys differ. All 3 of mine were different from day dot. I’ve got one who lines up our shoes at the door. I’ve got one who is soooo messy. I’ve got a crier, I’ve got one who I question if he could be a sociopath. Joking- kind of. They are all more sensitive in their own ways than my girl. She’s brilliantly robust but she’s only 8. In terms of easiness, no I’d say girl is second hardest after sociopath. 🤣 I love them all.

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Amermaidandaman · 07/02/2024 21:59

I have DS 6 and DD 3
DS is sweet natured, sensitive, fearful of loud noises and scary films. He loves small world play and learning facts. He is also very empathetic, confident and knows his own mind.

DD is far more fearless, energetic, mischievous. Her speech has been incredible for a while and she puts us all in our place with a foot stomp to go alongside. She runs away and disappears into the trees when DS wouldn’t step out of my sight. She’s bright as a button and extremely creative - she loves to draw but not interested in colouring.

I massively have my hands full with the littlest one!

However I also work in a PRU which is 90% boys so I’m well aware that there are significantly more boys being excluded from schools.

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ShelleyCarpenter · 07/02/2024 22:53

Mine are now 22 and 19 and have never been loud or aggressive and certainly not defiant. They are both affectionate, thoughtful and caring

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herewegoagainy · 07/02/2024 22:56

It is upbringing. Active boisterous girls get firmly corrected by almost every adult they meet. Active boisterous boys are seen as natural.

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sprigatito · 07/02/2024 22:58

Eh? Of course "all little boys" aren't like that. There isn't any character trait that's common to all of one sex or the other.

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MixedCouple · 07/02/2024 22:59

My DS is a sweetheart.

My Niece who is now 9 was an absolute nightmare and is close to being kicked out of school due to her behaviour. She has been tricky since she was born but more so it age 2.

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