My feed
Premium

Please
or
to access all these features

AIBU?

Are all young boys like this?

93 replies

Genuinelyenquiring · 07/02/2024 20:47

Every thread I read about difficult behaviour in younger children is always about a boy (or very rarely about little girls anyway).

In your experience, are all little boys prone to noise, aggression and defiance or is it just skewed more that way?

I'm not trying to be goady - I'm genuinely interested.

Did anyone have daughters who were harder work than their sons at a young age?

OP posts:
Report
Minikievs · 08/02/2024 07:56

I have DS and DD. I agree with pp, my DD is much more "aggressive" (not quite the right word) than my DS.
He is now a teen and is loud on his gaming devices to his friend but is quite sensitive and a quieter personality than my DD

Report
Minikievs · 08/02/2024 07:57

She is like a bright brilliantly sunny day that can descend into a summer storm within minutes.
He's more of a warm but slightly overcast day that never really changes 😂

Report
Rainbowunicornsparkle · 08/02/2024 08:04

On an individual basis, no.

On a societal basis, yes, which tends to be ignored on these threads.

Report
RadiatorHead · 08/02/2024 08:10

My son could be really naughty but also he loved sitting down and watching Corrie with me, it was our ‘thing’. He used to love singing songs to me as well. It really depends to be honest. Some days I’d be tearing my hair out as he’d been such a pain, other days he was a delight basically.

Report
Toarrie · 08/02/2024 08:10

My daughter is MUCH harder work than my son. She is so engaged, passionate and struggles to manage her emotions. Her brother has always been able to deal with his emotions, so easy going etc. She isnt boisterous though, but in terms of ease of parenting - hard work!
It is just personality. I know girls like my son and boys like my daughter.

Report
mirror245 · 08/02/2024 08:23

The boys in my family ranging from 7-16 are quieter and gentler than the girls.

Report
Milkmani · 08/02/2024 08:25

My son is very gentle and good with other children, but he does have a lot of energy- most children do. On my days off and the weekend we go to playgroups that are on from 09:30-1:30 then head home for a nap. A walk or trip to the park works equally well to tire him out 😃 Then after the nap he’s slightly more subdued and we do some crafts or play in the living room with puzzles. I had read that boys need more physical activity than girls, so I decided to keep him busy - whether what I read is actually true I don’t know but it seems to be working for now.

Report
TwoWithCurls · 08/02/2024 08:26

Wishicouldthinkofagoodone · 07/02/2024 20:51

Confirmation bias.

people stereotype boys as noisy and aggressive, so notice when they are. They don’t see the ones sitting quietly etc.

also boys tend to have more leeway with that kind of behaviour. Girls will be immediately told off for fighting, boys aren’t as it’s seen as normal “boy” behaviour.

girls are expected, and effectively “trained” to sit nicely, draw, not run around etc.

Definitely a lot of truth in that!!

Report
MrsSkylerWhite · 08/02/2024 08:27

Ours was the complete opposite, a very gentle soul. Our daughter, not so much 😁

Report
SidekickSylvia · 08/02/2024 08:36

As toddlers I would say my boys were more physical and had slightly more energy than my girls (2 of each). Then no difference until 11 or 12. I had all of mine playing sport as soon as possible.

I do agree with the confirmation bias and female socialisation though. I probably encouraged my girls to 'sit nicely' more than my boys, looking back. I might've mistakenly thought there was no point in asking my sons.

Report
Rainbowunicornsparkle · 08/02/2024 08:43

What is very frustrating is when boys are lumped in together as one group.

Sat with my NCT group in a cafe, five girls and two boys, one boy starts running around and I hear chuckles and ‘boys eh?’

I always want to say ‘hang on, DS is sitting down!’

Report
Ibuamnti · 08/02/2024 09:56

My son was a quiet, undemanding toddler. He had his moments and tantrums but they blew over in a couple of minutes, but my daughter was a banshee. Loud, argumentative from the moment she learned to say no and generally a whirling dervish of unbridled energy. I love them both dearly but if asked I woukd say my daughter was more difficult than my son

Report
Flottie · 08/02/2024 09:56

My brother went through an aggressive stage growing up maybe around 12/13. But my mum got really strict with him and he’s not now but I feel if my mum hadn’t told him straight then he’d probably be aggressive now.

Report
SallyWD · 08/02/2024 10:11

My daughter has always been much more loud, energetic, sporty, messy than my son. My son is quiet. My daughter takes up a lot more space in the house, if you know what I mean. She's like a whirlwind and she leaves a trail of destruction around her.
My son's friends are also pretty quiet, gentle souls.
So no, not all boys are like that.

Report
Wishicouldthinkofagoodone · 08/02/2024 10:41

Rainbowunicornsparkle · 08/02/2024 08:43

What is very frustrating is when boys are lumped in together as one group.

Sat with my NCT group in a cafe, five girls and two boys, one boy starts running around and I hear chuckles and ‘boys eh?’

I always want to say ‘hang on, DS is sitting down!’

agree.

also when my dd was running around like a loon, people automatically assumed boy. Their bias knew boys ran around, girls didn’t, so the child running around is a boy.

the amount of times old folk lectured me on how hard boys were at that age, always on the go, look at him run! But I’d be grateful in the teen years because boys are so easy then.

i’ve been outright corrected when I’d replied that yes, SHE is very active. No dear, you mean he.

on one particular memorable occasion I got a telling off for letting my son out in public in his sisters clothes 😂

so even if people are watching girls, their minds attribute the behaviour to boys. It’s a very powerful thing, and why stereotypes are so hard to overcome.

Report
UsualChaos · 08/02/2024 14:17

Nope. My boy was very active and could be noisy I suppose, but was very gentle and has never had a fight in his life. Was never and is never aggressive.

Report
DryIce · 08/02/2024 14:26

Confirmation bias.

I have a very active, into everything, absurdly energetic whirlwind of a boy. I've always had comments: oh you have your hands full! Oh boys right! Wow boys are just so different!

Of course his brother, who is usually sitting quietly nearby colouring or reading, has never been commented on

Report
SongbirdGarden · 08/02/2024 14:36

Children all have different temperaments, l think little girls general behaviour is seen as a "better" model in societies eyes, as in being able to sit and quiet longer, and little boys should adhere to the same.
I had two sons, one was full of energy and needed a lot of physical activity, but my youngest one was very calm and quiet, in fact l remember a mum of two girls kindly referring to him as a "dullard" because he just sat very still and quiet on their sofa.

Report
Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.