Is it rude to just cut out a guy I like?

[Penguinbars]

Basically, I like someone at work, he's giving me hot and cold and I can't take anymore. He's showing signs of liking me whilst also keeping a certain distance from me and I can't cope anymore.
I'm done trying to analyse him and trying to make out to him that I'm not interested.
We're not in the same department so dating wouldn't even be an issue as we don't work together as such.
Anyway, is it rude of me to just suddenly stop talking? I feel like an idiot for even pretending I want to be friends with him.
It might look stroppy that I ghost him, but being kept at a certain distance even though he talks to me loads and flirts and wants to spend time with me is upsetting me.
Is he owed an explanation? I've only properly spoken to him for around 2 months I guess.
Honestly I'm a very upfront honest person and I hate doing the whole slow fade.
He is used to me talking a lot so he'll certainly be questioning why I've stopped but I just think I deserve better.

He told you he wants to be mates.

When he’s being flirty is he implying he wants a sexual relationship with you or is he paying you compliments because mates pay each other compliments without any desire to take the relationship further

Sorry OP, you must be feeling a bit dejected now. Good on you for having the balls to be direct with him. However, he's not coming across very well here. He basically says he just wants to be mates because of not mixing work and pleasure etc. So stop the f*cking flirting you teasing prick lol. If I sensed some guy liked me and wasn't interested in getting into it further, I wouldn't be flirting with them - that's just cruel!

I just kinda would've preferred if he'd said he sees me as more of a friend and doesn't have romantic feelings, I just think the work thing is a convenient excuse sadly.
He was giving hot and cold and honestly if I sensed a guy liked me I would not invite them alone to a bar for hours. Not saying me and hypothetical guy couldn't be friends but I'd probably stick to group meetups etc.

We have 2 other couples here which pisses me off lol but whatever.

Actually gutted, I do think if you liked someone enough you'd consider it... We aren't in on the same days and we work in different departments, so..

I can understand that Penguin; it's a knock-back even if it isn't personal, and a disappointment. But you will feel better in a few days. I would definitely give him the polite and friendly (in a distant way) cold shoulder though.

It's a disappointment when things don't work out as you'd like but at least you got around to the conversation.

Really time to focus on you now and things which bring you enjoyment.

That's the thing, it is personal in my eyes no matter what excuse is given. But the main thing is the conversation was had and I've retained my dignity I hope, and I don't need to be friends but want more :)

If your conversation went as you described - then I think it has gone terribly wrong.

You told him you wanted to step back, he accepted your wishes and gave an out to both of you "I don't date co-workers". So he gave you what you asked for.

Oh no, it was more like we were talking all the time, meeting up alone and I developed feelings from that. I was clear to him I was attracted and needed to distance myself a bit because I didn't want to be just friends any longer, then he told me about how he dated colleagues when he was younger and had too many bad experiences so he just avoids it altogether now but it really wasn't personal.

Just want to know if people think it's an excuse, otherwise I'm going to hold onto false hope.

I know it isn't what you want to hear and of course I could be wrong, but I do think it's an excuse and you're in the friend zone (haven't commented before but have thought this since the start of the thread) It's not like you've just met and if he had developed feelings for you, he would put his self imposed embargo on relationships with colleagues aside.

I'd really try to put him out of your mind OP, a platonic friendship won't work for you if you're got feelings.

Sadly I think you're right. He did seem like he fancied me initially by asking for my phone number. It's like he was thinking of it then suddenly panicked and backed off. I'll never know why.
Well if he can't be totally honest then I can do better tbh..

None of us were there, but if you said:
" I was attracted and needed to distance myself a bit because I didn't want to be just friends any longer"

Put yourself in his shoes for a moment, what could he have said and how long did he have before you closed off the opportunity ? As you didn't go the route "I am attracted to you, let's go on a date" but "I am attracted to you, I need distance".

then he his only choice is to accept your distance. If he ignored you and then asked you out - then in an alternative universe he would be speaking to HR about sexually harassing a coworker.

In all honesty, I think the chance is dead - but thought should ask if you started with the defence before he had more than a few moments to act on your admission of feelings.

I do see what you mean for sure but I don't even think it was that, because he would've said, 'I do like you'.
I think he saw it coming because he had the perfect excuse all ready.

I just feel so embarrassed and gutted, like I want to hide away.