To tell my son he should do something that earns more than teaching

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My son is good at everything. Parent's evening yesterday and all the teachers said he could easily get 9s at almost all his GCSEs but he's a bit lazy as he finds things quite easy.

He plays 2 instruments to grade 6+ standard. He learns fast. He's great at sciences, maths, computing.

He wants to be a PE teacher.

AIBU to tell him to think about doing something else? He could literally do anything and has chosen this. I am a bit disappointed I suppose, thought he might go Barrister/Actuary/Doctor or something.

DH is a doctor and was very pleased that neither of the DT’s wanted to go into that profession.

I'd recommend a teaching job. - he can make a lot of money by qualifying and doing two years experience and then moving abroad. Can make a lot of money and travel the world.

@Friendlyfishfinger I doubt it would make up for the drudgery of working 50 hrs a week as an Actuary when you wish to be a PE Teacher!

All you can do is inform him.

Eg explain the salary of a teacher relative to costs like housing etc. Show him that other professions typically earn more.

Also its a good idea to understand what appeals and dispel possible myths. A lot of teenagers think teachers arrive on site at 8.50, work 3 or 4 lessons of a 5 period day and sod off at 3.15 with the rest of their time free, and 12 weeks holiday.

Some sensible practical information about the realities of the job will help him make an informed choice - but remember its his choice. Teaching pay is well above average, it has good pensions and holidays, its very rewarding. there are far worse occupations.

@thebestinterest If he was doing PE teaching he could do a side hustle as a PT (He would easily pass the quals for it in a couple of weekends if he's into PE already). He sounds so smart so whatever he does he will do it well and make a success of it. That should be enough to know you've raised a good 'un.

To me, that smacks of a teenager telling you what they think you want to hear, on a subject they haven't even remotely considered, in the hope that you'll ff off and let them finish whatever they were doing 😂

We had a babysitter for two years 15-17 who was adamant she was going in nursing. Worked her backside off for her GCSE's, lined up all the right subjects for A-Levels and completely changed her mind over the summer and opted for Economics and I don't know what else. It dawned on me about half way through her senior cycle that she wasn't talking about nursing any more.
"I decided I wanted to go into business because I want a well paid job"

He'll sort himself out. When he can be arsed !

you could encourage him to look at a degree like sport science. very competitive to get into at the top places like Loughborough. Does not rule out PE teacher as an option, but also leaves open lots of other things.

I don't think it's wrong to speak to him about salaries. I wanted to be a social worker and my parents spoke to me about how little they are paid for the amount of stress and work.
It was done with huge respect for social workers but in a ' I have seen how much they do for not much reward, you have so many options- is that what you really want?'

They also supported a sibling 100% with a similar role but I think they could see how passionate she was.

YABU. His life. I earn £24k and I'm happy.

YABU. His life. I earn £24k and I'm happy.

@thebestinterest I meant he is lazy BECAUSE he finds things easy. They need to challenge him more.

@BobbyBiscuits I think it's possible to be rich and happy

I know 2 actuaries. Both very rich and very happy

Some people hate being an actuary. Some people love being a teacher. It’s his life, let him live it.

I told my Mum I wasn't going to Uni because I wanted to go and live in a van and travel around Ireland. She said ok, that's fine, but you need to give yourself choices, you could go and get a degree and then do the van thing if you still want to, but if you've changed your mind you have options, so maybe you should think about it.

I went to uni. I've never lived in a van. (Yet)

What I'm saying is young people say a lot of things because they are trying ideas on for size. Want to gauge reactions. Don't want the parental pressure so want to make you back off and stop telling them what to do. Set expectations. Maybe he's saying it because he knows you are thinking "barrister". He's trying to lower the bar.

Yep! It’s much better to be sad and rich than poor and sad 😂

Cringing at "Polys".

My daughter and son are teachers who got great GSCEs - and they both love it.

Tread very carefully, OP. I have friends who have very strained or distant relationships with their parents because they expressed disappointment (either directly or more subtly) at their career choices when they were younger.

I was at uni with someone who wanted to be a teacher. Her mum pushed her into another degree which she dropped out of.
It’s his life not yours

He's only 14, it's quite likely he'll change his mind anyway.

Teachers start on £30,000 so not bad plus a lot do it for the love of the job and that's important also it really is up to him.

Married to someone who knows an awful lot about actuarial exams.

Nope, don't do it...

It's not the money it's the utter lack of respect for the profession from the top down and never having an evening off during term time.

Hopefully he will realise there are better work life balances available.

Ridiculous, he has not even taken his GCSEs yet.
There’s many a slip twixt cup and the lip. Owt could happen.

You have to let them make their own decisions, regardless of what you think. What they do fresh out of school isnt always what they end up doing for life either. What I did at uni at 18 (Art based) has no baring on my career now as a nurse. I have 1 child who didnt want uni despite having the grades to do so but now has an average paying job they love, and one who is naturally very gifted in Maths but is training to be a Geography teacher. Not what i would have chosen, or guessed for either of them, but they are old enough to make their own decisions. Our job is to offer advice, pros and cons, go through options with a logical mind set, not our hearts. My middle son wanted to do just games design at uni, i knew from birth pretty much with him that his life plan would involve computing and technology so he took the path i did guess for him, but we went over all the degrees available to him, which resulted in him going for a more broad computer science degree. It was his decision though, not mine, i just helped him.

As someone who's parents pushed them down a career path that fit in with my high-achieving academic record (with the best of intentions), and who is now a bit miserable and burnt out in her job, I'd really caution against just equating professional career = good money = happy life. I think your personality and what drives you is a more important indicator of the sort of job that suits you, rather than purely academics.

I'd take your son seriously, rather than trying to change his mind/share your disappointment. You could draw him into a conversation about what it is that appeals to him about teaching. I think kids have really limited exposure to jobs, I mean the main people they see doing a job are their teachers! Most don't even know what their parents really do all day. You could write up a list of the pros and cons of teaching together, figure out if there's any jobs/sectors he'd like to know more about and how you could find out about them, and talk about what he thinks will motivate him (money, work-life balance, helping others?) Don't frame it as changing his mind, but maybe you could just say you yourself didn't get much career guidance and you'd like to make sure he knows you're always there to talk things through and help him consider all his options.

I'd also point out that a lot of professional jobs require lots of expensive years of training, don't earn huge amounts of money early on and require very long hours. There are so many well paying jobs outside of the traditional professions that might suit him (e.g. if he's into sport, has he considered all the statistical analysis/marketing/management sides of that sector?)