To tell my son he should do something that earns more than teaching

[NameChangeAgainAgainAgainAgain]

My son is good at everything. Parent's evening yesterday and all the teachers said he could easily get 9s at almost all his GCSEs but he's a bit lazy as he finds things quite easy.

He plays 2 instruments to grade 6+ standard. He learns fast. He's great at sciences, maths, computing.

He wants to be a PE teacher.

AIBU to tell him to think about doing something else? He could literally do anything and has chosen this. I am a bit disappointed I suppose, thought he might go Barrister/Actuary/Doctor or something.

Hmm. In your situation, I'd do what i did with DD. She wanted to get into a niche area of engineering. Good prospects.
Told me she tanked a mock test, and all of a sudden, she was going to do some shit course that would give her projected earnings of £22k a year.

So I went on the Internet, found out what she could borrow for a mortgage on that, said to her so you could borrow this, it works out as a 1 bedroom shared ownership apartment.
You'd have this left, to pay for clothes, food, insurances, savings, holidays, general bills.

Is that the life you want? Do you really want to spend the time doing a college course that works out to be that close to minimum wage? You'd be better off working in tescos or getting a trade skill if you want better but not to do engineering anymore.

The realisation she would be broke as a joke made her change her mind.

Teachers are vastly underpaid for the work that they do, and I would be telling him he could work a much easier job and probably have much, much better money coming in.

I know a PE Teacher getting 27k a year. so yes id say the wage is low

Don’t worry of offending anyone. You are doing the right thing by steering him towards high paying careers. My parents did that and I’m very grateful for that.

To start with, I’d have a chat with him about salaries in different sectors vs cost of living.

Then shortlist some 5 very well paying areas and let him choose, He could explore work experience opportunities in the shortlisted areas to help him decide.

For someone with those academic results, choosing teaching is a very poor choice. If he loves PE, he can set up his own after school/sunday PE club.

Ouch.
Do student loans come out of that too?

I was going to write a response to the OP but honestly... this is perfect! (I'm very much NOT a genius but I know a good reply when I see one

You can't choose his career for him. Encouraging him to think broadly and consider earning power is fine but being openly disappointed in him is less so.

He's still very young and not even done GCSEs. All options are still open and he might change his mind several times.

He might try one career first and then switch. I did an English degree and worked in publishing at first. When I realised I wanted more money and stability for the lifestyle I desired I switched to law, becoming a solicitor at 29. I dont regret anything. I needed that time and life experience to work things out.

Doing what he wants and enjoys is more important than what you want. You sound pushy, and the kind of mum who just thinks their child is incredible. Being able to play 2 instruments to a grade 6 standard is good, but not mind blowing. Don't push him. Let him make his own way through life.

The way education is going there won’t be many qualified teachers teaching PE by the time he gets there…. Much cheaper to employ a sports coach and buy in a generic (often poor) cut and paste curriculum)…. School budgets are being cut and PE isn’t seen as important so can be economised on, every job in a school that can be cut and divided between other people as an extra is being cut…. Private, state and academy schools are all making similar choices

My cousin sounds a lot like your son, OP. He did a sports science and maths degree and went in to teaching as a PE teacher.

He has sort of mumbled a bit jealously about the money some of his mates have made (both the uni ones who went into careers in finance and the like and those from school who did well in things like sales) but at the same time, he loves his job, particularly it being outdoors. He hates being stuck behind a desk and not getting to wear shorts every day! It’s also a pretty healthy job and he’s still fit and active at 59 and still teaching PE and feeling quite capable. Obviously there’s been plenty about teaching that’s been stressful and he hasn’t loved everything about it, but he seems to have built himself a pretty good life on the back of it.

Doing sport as a joint degree with math gave him options after his degree and made him more attractive as a teacher when he was looking for his first post (and probably subsequently too).

I don’t think you need to be pushing too hard at this stage (other than to encourage him to step up academically to ensure he will have the choices he might want in the future), but it might be worth suggesting some sort of hedging with a joint degree if he’s still so keen when he’s starting to look at uni courses. If he’s good at math, that’s a subject that adds value to pretty much any career he ends up with.

@NameChangeAgainAgainAgainAgain i agree with you OP. In fact if he knows the truth of your struggles, he may aspire to have a better paid job. What is your social network like? Are most of your friends teachers too? Do you have any friends who are barristers, doctors or actuarists? Does he have any friends whose parents do these jobs?
The reason I ask is that kids aspire to what they know and are familiar with. Discuss lots of options with him and try and put him in touch with people doing different roles.

Yes you need to be happy in your job. However, you can aspire to be happy, well paid with a career progression which means that when you make it to the top, you earn lots of money for your skills and experience and the responsibility, but you are not doing the hard graft (being a doctor is not like this by the way)

😂being a barrister, doctor etc is for very very very hard working people!

OP I am really sorry you and your husband are not enjoying teaching. Could you change school, or reduce hours, or something?

I ask because I am a teacher and think it is absolutely the best thing ever, in my current school. But I haven't always felt like this (I am old now) - some schools and roles have been harder.

And don't assume your son will hate it. He may utterly love it.

For me, along with my daughter my job is the very best thing in my life. It has kept me going through some hard times too, emotionally speaking. Love it.

[Not read the thread] I don't think it's unreasonable to point out how difficult it can be to live on a low salary, maybe spelling it out with actual figures, but without "telling" or ordering him not to do something as such. I rather wish someone had said something similar to me when I was younger and maybe I'd have a better quality of life now, rather than being told to follow my heart etc. which was bad advice.

My DD wanted to be a teacher.
She did a gap year as teaching assistant after A levels and gess what?
After 2 weeks, she knew, she didt not want to work in a school.

Although I encouraged the gap year because I felt she should go into teaching with her eyes wide open, not to discourage her!

He's a long way off yet, encourage him to do a degree in sports science then PGCE after if he still wants to teach, he might change his mind

Lots of people work just as hard for a fraction of the pay.

Those worrying about me 'telling' him not to do something, don't. I worded it badly. He can't be 'told' anything, sadly! That's fourteen year old boys for you I suppose.

What I should do really if I want him to not be a teacher is to wholeheartedly recommend it and say I think it's a brilliant idea, that would probably put him right off

Thinking about it (hopefully!!!???) he is only saying it to wind me up. We shall see.

Glad to hear that some teachers enjoy their jobs. I don't know very many of those, and all of them that I do are those that teach Maths.

We need all those things. But with things as they stand, I’d advise anyone against it.

To add, I wouldn’t want anyone to sacrifice themselves in an attempt to implement change in a field that is currently destroying everyone I know within it.

You hoped he would aspire to be an Actuary? Are you kidding me? Most kids (and adults) probably don't even know what one of those is. Let him pursue what he loves, if he's a good all rounder he can easily choose to change to something more 'lucrative' if that's the way he wants to go.
Why not be proud of him. Do you want him rich or happy?

I'd try and convince him to do a related degree followed by a PGCE, rather than a PE degree with qualified teacher status. Just to keep his options open in case teaching isn't for him. Otherwise, leave him to figure things out for himself.

There’s no point if he won’t enjoy it enough to train and continue

Rich. Then you can afford to do things to make you happy.

Same reply.

You’re not being unreasonable. PE teachers can’t be lazy - or shouldn’t be - so he should reconsider that in itself.

Also, when thinking about careers, personally, we should be choosing them wisely; college is an investment, and you need to think about it from a best returns PoV.

We know SO MANY teachers who have found themselves setting up side hustles to make ends meet, because their teaching pay just doesn’t stretch as far as it needs to.