To tell my son he should do something that earns more than teaching

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My son is good at everything. Parent's evening yesterday and all the teachers said he could easily get 9s at almost all his GCSEs but he's a bit lazy as he finds things quite easy.

He plays 2 instruments to grade 6+ standard. He learns fast. He's great at sciences, maths, computing.

He wants to be a PE teacher.

AIBU to tell him to think about doing something else? He could literally do anything and has chosen this. I am a bit disappointed I suppose, thought he might go Barrister/Actuary/Doctor or something.

Thanks to @BananaLlamaFarmer I didnt want to say this becuase the overwhelming attitude on MN is but out and let them do what makes them 'happy'. I'm not sure how 'happy' they are going to be when the bills land and they can't pay them, can't afford to get a mortgage, can't afford to move to an area with good schools. If you can't afford to buy the odd takeaway and or holiday once a year how long will they be happy for.

If you ask the average 18yr old what they want out of life, i can guarantee they will list things that inc all of the above and more (most have high tastes!) they don't realise that the subject they love might not pay for half of the things on their list. So a bit of advice will not go amiss. They can choose want they want but they need educating about the likely outcomes of those choices and what other options are out there. That is also part of parental support, not just glumly going along with everything they say.

Absolutely, it is a parents job to inform their children about the world. Just as you might tell a toddler that drinking a whole bottle of vinegar might not be a good idea (even if they want to), you can educate and inform your child about how they might live if they choose certain paths.

Of course, you can’t dictate what he does as a job, it’s absolutely his choice. But at the very least, let him know how much he might make by choosing different careers, and what that actually looks like in terms of buying food, getting a house, moving around to different areas, just general living costs!

If he is fully aware of everything and still wants to go a way you aren’t sure about, then support him all the way. I’m sure you will. But at least he has made that choice with his eyes open.

Some earlier posts about taking him to see various different jobs in action were very useful. He might just find a career path he wasn’t even aware of. In an ideal world he could find something that pays a decent wage and something he also really enjoys. Easier said than done though!

I thought you were going to say he's in final year of university. Erm, yeah, up to him and there's a way to go. But teachers are leaving the profession in droves so he might go off the idea. Or the govt will come up with a golden handshake scheme.

Teaching is not necessary badly paid. I got all A’s/A*’s at school and a 2.1 from a competitive Russell Group university. I teach English in a middle management position and earn £68000 a year. Yes, it’s not amazing money, but it is much more than many people (the media included) assume. I could also have progressed much further and therefore earned much more in teaching quite easily (I have had lots of opportunities) but have prioritised a work-life balance and my family instead. Don’t assume all teachers are scraping by on £30000 a year- most I know are actually quite comfortable.

68 k in middle management??

You are going to have to break that one down!

That's leadership spine pay.

The most important thing should be if he's HAPPY - doesn't matter if he works for minimum wage 🤦‍♀️

PE teacher is a good aim in my opinion.

As a teacher myself, I totally understand why you'd want to discourage. It's stressful, the workload is disproportionate to the pay and the hours are long. My youngest keeps sating shed like to be a teacher but I'm finding myself telling her to think about being a dentist (never seen a poor one!), a vet or an accountant. Anything where the pay roughly reflects the hours and isn't ridiculously stressful.

Totally agree. I've been middle management for 15 years and earn 46k.

Inner London. On UPS 2 plus TLR 1b for Head of Department position… every core subject HOD or Lead Prac I know is on at least this- but we are talking about very large, very challenging academies in very rough parts of inner city London. I am aware it is very different elsewhere. Also I am in no way saying it is an easy job or reasonable workload etc. Just commenting on salary as that seemed to be OP’s main concern. Other then the fact her son is too bright to teach 😂

Vets have a higher suicide rate than that of the general population. The grass is not always greener.

Well at least he's chosen a good job that'll keep him fit. I'd be more disappointed to have a kid that didn't want to work.

I'm a teacher of 20 years. Thankfully for us my DH isn't and earns well enough for me to have worked PT since DD was born. Funnily enough it keeps me sane!

I still think being a teacher is such a privilege and whilst kids can be challenging they're not the problem, it's all the other rubbish. It's a travesty how the profession is treated in this country. It should be well-respected, well-paid and offer at least some flexibility if it's going to be appealing to graduates of the future.

Your son has plenty of time to change his mind and even if he does go into it he may not do it forever.

I'm the only person I know who is doing what they wanted to do at 14 🙈

I’ve acknowledged the fact this isn’t always the case. But it can be and often (in my experience) is. There are different prices to pay.

It's a touch disingenuous for you not to have said this in your first post tbh!

Outside of London, that's a deputy head salary in a medium sized secondary school. I earn way less than that on 30 years teaching and a HOY equivalent salary with year groups of 400.

I concur with your final sentence though!

He hasn't even sat his exams yet. Choosing an actual career is still a long way off.

Let the lad look at things he's interested in and chill the heck out a bit.

If he's a bit lazy, can I suggest teaching is not the job for him!!! Loads of unpaid overtime and when you're in charge of 30 kids at a time there is no down time in your day. Add to normal lessons, before school/lunchtime/after school clubs he will have no time to be lazy!! Though if he is determined then he should be encouraged, it is the most exhausting, exasperating, frustrating (mostly due to stroppy parents) job in the world but it's also the best. A 'thanks Miss ' at the end of a lesson or seeing a kid finally getting something is the best feeling in the World.

Teaching is a horrible job

How insulting to teachers. Basically you’re saying that highly able, clever academic people shouldn’t be teachers. Wasn’t there a thread on here recently complaining that there were too many under qualified people teaching these days and that teachers should have a first class honours degree??

Blimey. As a teacher myself it’s not necessarily a career I’d be promoting as it’s one I’m trying to get out of and one that has changed a lot over the years. But those with no teaching experience shouldn’t be saying their kids could do better than teaching.

I had to have words with my mother (in her late 60s at the time) when my daughter expressed an interest in becoming a shopkeeper or a hairdresser. She was only kS1 at the time and my mum’s response was ‘you could do better than that’. To which I responded that I wasn’t going to label careers as being better or worse and to wait and see where their abilities and talents lie later in their school life but teaching them that certain jobs aren’t good enough isn’t what I wanted and find it disrespectful to people in those jobs. I worked in retail before qualifying. I have friends who’ve left teaching to go into retail. You find something you want and are happy with. We need people in all different career sectors.

I’m in not management position at all but FTE of my job is £46k. I’m ups 3 though. That’s the highest without a responsibility outside of London after working your way up the pay scale. But throw in a TLR for middle management and it’s easily topped. Although I’ll never see £45k as I only work 0.4!

I forgot to add my TLR! I'm actually at 49k. Better than I realised.

Sorry, It wasn’t my intention to insult teachers and I am not sure it was ops either. When my DC expressed an interest in teaching secondary school Maths, I pointed out that there are other careers that offer much better conditions and pay given their strengths in computing, Maths and science. You say yourself that teaching is not a career you’d promote either.

My eldest DC works in scientific research. They absolutely love it but it’s not particularly well paid. They do find this difficult, after so many years of studying (will have a PhD in the end) ,when their friends earn more and don’t even have a degree 🤷🏼‍♀️.

YABU
His life, his choice.
He's still rather young and he might change his mind later on.

Wtf

Is this a serious question 😂

You are just a mum wanting to do the best for your child. Of course your child should choose something he enjoys. But I said to my kids work hard at school, get good grades so yiu can get a good job, so that yiu can have a good life. Its not fun living pay check to pay check. But teachers can earn good money and especially if hf climbs the ladder.