To tell my son he should do something that earns more than teaching

[NameChangeAgainAgainAgainAgain]

My son is good at everything. Parent's evening yesterday and all the teachers said he could easily get 9s at almost all his GCSEs but he's a bit lazy as he finds things quite easy.

He plays 2 instruments to grade 6+ standard. He learns fast. He's great at sciences, maths, computing.

He wants to be a PE teacher.

AIBU to tell him to think about doing something else? He could literally do anything and has chosen this. I am a bit disappointed I suppose, thought he might go Barrister/Actuary/Doctor or something.

Absolutely this.
I also grew up with my mum shitting on everything I showed a vague interest in: music, acting, journalism, translation, academia, social work, teaching, law.
I have no idea why literally everything I thought about was "wrong" but it discouraged me at every point and made me lose a lot of confidence because nothing seemed to please her.
I wish someone had been able to support me to explore each and every one of the above and encouraged me to do whatever I wanted (while being realistic about working hours, money, and challenges).
Children are their own people; they're not there to please us.

You have to ask him what he wants out of life. A nice house and financial comfort is important to some people and actuary / doctor / barrister will earn 3 x what a teacher does. The advantage of teacher (esp science / maths) / GP is that you can find work while living relatively rurally if that’s what you want to do. Less easy if you are a lawyer / actuary.

OP I decided on my chosen career on the basis that if I had to work it might as well be earning good money . It wasn’t really a suitable choice and only worked out ok for me by luck rather than anything I did .

Trotman Careers book might be worth a look

It's nothing to do with you! So many people have had unfulfilling lives because their parents have driven them away from whatever job they actually wanted to do. There is an awful lot more to being happy than earing lots of money. Leave him to follow his own path. Your job is to support him, not to control him.

He’ll chase the money. Kids are so financially focused these days.

I don’t think you’re being unreasonable - teaching gets a bad reputation for pay and lifestyle. However, with his intellect, he would presumably rise to the top very quickly in education, and enjoy awards and prestige. Teaching is well paid per hour … but only if you don’t do unpaid overtime.

OP you would IMO be making a big mistake pushing your son into an area he has no interest in.

What is wrong with teaching? Sure it doesn't pay like law or finance, but so what.

As long as he can live and support himself, that is really good enough.

It's your ds' life and his choice. Not yours.

I have a ds the same age, on track for good grades. At the moment he wants to do 'some kind of engineering'. I expect him to change his mind at least two or three times yet. And that's fine. 🤗

I wanted to be a journalist at school. Admired Kate Adie, brilliant reporter. My mum worried I would be wasting my time, and to get a "trade". I opted for nursing. Yikes, I was shit at it, I really did waste my time trying to. I left nursing school without qualifications and eventually ended up working on the Underground.

I say to my daughter, also an aspiring photographer/writer, that she will go to university and get her degree but she will have several careers and jobs. The important thing is, there's no point doing something if it makes you miserable. She might want to take photos now, but she might end up doing lots of different things, maybe two, or even three, at the same time. And it's fine.

I think being a teacher is a noble thing. We all need them at the end of the day. The pay is crap but he might become an excellent role model to many kids. Most of us remember a special teacher (mine was my drama teacher), maybe this lad might be one of them.

I love this

“could have been so much more” you mean rich and miserable?

Maybe suggest physiotherapy or occupational therapy! Both a similar area but much better paid.

Early days. You don’t know how things will pan out over the next couple of years. He’ll probably do a degrees first anyway so he may change his mind. I have a degree from Cambridge and became a teacher and love it. Let him find his own path.

I’d love it if DS showed any interest in literally anything. He has no idea and no interest in finding out.

I know quite a few people who were pushed to ‘go up the city’ and work in a well paying office job and hated it and quit and then went back to uni in later life, if you can just encourage him to do what he feels is best

I have a PhD. I do not know my IQ beyond it being over 145 and probably a decent bit more.
The highlight of my week is coaching boxing on a Saturday.

He can go from being a PE teacher to deputy head to HT.

Can he do a joint degree - eg pe and geography, its probably good to have a second subject to offer.

@NameChangeAgainAgainAgainAgain my mum didn’t want me to do GCSE PE and wanted me to do a proper subject instead. I didn’t listen and did the GCSE (followed by the A Level, degree in Sport Science and PGCE in PE). When I qualified as a PE teacher, I always felt my mum was disappointed and thought I should teach a ‘proper’ subject instead.

Fast forward almost 20 years and I’m now in school leadership. Salary over £80K for a term time only job (obviously I do work in the holidays but it’s not the same as needing to be in work).

There is nothing to be ashamed of in being a PE teacher. I no longer teach the subject but it’s got me where I am today.

What made you think he would study medicine or law? Has he ever expressed an interest in these areas?

I think its brilliant he’s focused on a career and wants to do something he loves. We desperately need more teachers and you don’t go into it for the money. If he loves sport and is passionate about teaching others in the future, that’s something to be encouraged.

Im sure it wouldn’t take long on MN to find plenty of people who earn double, triple or plenty more than a teacher who are totally miserable in their jobs. Encourage him to do something he loves. Its a secure job in a very uncertain world too. There were plenty of people with great careers before Covid hit that suddenly disappeared overnight. He’ll always have a secure job if he’s a great teacher.

My mom didn’t want me to be a teacher. Almost 15 years later and I still am and still love it. I’ve worked my way up the pay scale and have responsibilities and I don’t consider myself badly paid. No, I don’t earn what a barrister does but I’m happy. Honestly though, very few 16 year olds stick to what they day they will be so just encourage him to do as he wishes and he’ll either love it or make a career change.

It's your role as parent to give him your advice and wisdom

Teaching is a vocation, explain the pros and cons

I was an actuary and I wasn't happy. The job itself was OK but the hours I was required to work were ridiculous and I didn't get to see my kids (I would leave 6:40am and I would say in the last year I was there I could count on one hand the number of times I saw my kids before they were in bed). For me family is really important so I changed to being a teacher's aide. I am so much happier even though my pay is low.

I would encourage that he thinks about a degree subject he will enjoy so choosing the A levels to get onto that degree. Then worry about a career path.

Don't worry, if he's a PE teacher, he'll probably end up a headteacher. And if not, PE teachers always seem to be a happy enough bunch.

Fwiw, I wanted to do law and become a barrister (you can thank Ally McBeal and This Life for that), but I decided fiction was much more fun to read.

My parents thought me becoming a teacher meant I'd properly made it, so it's all relative. I just want mine to earn enough to live the life they want.

I’m very grateful that no one convinced the male teachers at my kids school not to join the profession. They are amazing teachers and the kids adore them. They clearly love their jobs.