Nursery refused place aibu

[Honeyplease]

Saw a lovely nursery 2 weeks ago. Looking to start my 2yo son who is currently with a childminder. I mentioned that he had tried preschool but didnt get on with it too well (he is only just 2 and the preschool had mostly 3/4 year olds) I also mentioned that I suspect him to be neurodiverse but I wasn’t sure (no diagnosis or anything) he is developmentally on track he just has odd quips.

Was given a reg form, sent it back same day. Waited.. nothing. sent another email, and another.. tried calling. Left a voicemail. Basically 2 weeks of chasing. Nothing.

Today I finally received an email back from the owner.

“The problem I have in securing the place is we already have children coming through with significant needs and I'm concerned having spoken to our special educational needs coordinator that we won't have the capacity to give your son the the quality of care he deserves just like any other child.”

I am stunned! Aibu? surely they cannot do this.

This 100%

PIP is for adults. So, you're completely wrong basically. The benefit for disabled children is still DLA and there's no plan to change it to PIP.

But it's not discrimination as the child isn't disabled. Parent thinks they might be neurodiverse, with nothing to support it - no info about whether there was a diagnosis upcoming or whether she was talking to the GP etc. nurseries are already on their knees. It's not about the child the mum sounds like hard work

I don't think you understood what I meant. I did not say that they weren't discriminating. I said that we didn't know what had actually taken place.

You said they 'didn't even ask' but how do you know that?
OP has stated in her latest update that she just said she 'suspects some ND' surely she would also have said something else in relation to this? You don't just drop that sentence out of nowhere. Surely it's after some discussion of 'why' she thinks that.

OP has also changed her description. First she says he's 'developmentally on track but with odd quirks', then she says it's 'complex and subtle'.

Of course. Maybe the nursery is lying about having other kids with additional needs. Maybe you're right and it's 'just' because OP mentioned 'potentially ND'. Which, I agree is obvious discrimination.

But as @BonnyBo pointed out the number of special needs kids requiring extra attention a nursery can take on is limited without extra resources. If this nursery isn't lying about having others, then it's more likely that they genuinely cannot cope.

Your ire should be directed at the people who refuse to fund this or acknowledge the importance, and right of children, to early years provision. SEN aside so many nurseries have closed because the numbers just don't work for breaking even, not talking huge profits. You can complain about them all you like but if they just up and close you're back to square one.

You have a lifetime of this op.

If your child is under specialist intervention I would speak to them as they may be able to suggest a special nursery

There are no specialist Nurseries in my LA (a big LA)

Madness to even mention SEN when the issues he has are ‘subtle’, and he hasn’t even had a diagnosis.

It's also discrimination if you think the person has a protected characteristic. For example if you hear an employee is pregnant and take her off a project, but she isn't.

Would u rather they took him and he isn’t properly getting his needs met?

Two is very young to be diagnosed unless there are quite severe delays . Children develop at very different rates. Find another nursery and give your child to have the chance to find his level.

@Honeyplease I have a child with additional needs and he had just 1.5 hour days in preschool, back then I was naive thinking they had his best interests at heart. They didn't, they were lazy and unwilling to do the right things to secure provision. His preschool was attached to his future school so we stuck with it. For context, his needs were delayed speech and communication skills, which made instructions difficult to understand and he was unable to concentrate at story time (he couldn't understand them at this point). His behaviour wasn't bad, he just needed extra support in following instructions and navigating the day. A lot happened and they blatantly discriminated, I think they'd have moved him on by year 2 like most of the other children with SEND seemed to be, however, I got advice on legal side, had SENDIASS representative present in meetings and was quite open and vocal about everything with the other parents and governors. It was exhausting but his siblings were happy at the school and he settled so we let him stay. He's thriving now in the juniors but I do I wish so much that I'd found a better preschool setting that would've been incredible for him. I had my DD a few years later and sent her to a different preschool, it was inclusive and welcoming to all children. From experience I'd say, see this as a blessing, they really aren't good enough for your child X

They can do this. They need to have different ratio of kids to teachers for Sen or child with additional needs.
its a good thing they were honest. Find somewhere else..

That is not true!!

So much bad advice and info on this thread.

Here are the statutory guidelines-

https://www.gov.uk/government/publications/early-years-foundation-stage-framework--2

Please don't listen to people who have no knowledge of the sen system. Fact is the nursery can't legally turn you down, but fact is also that they will have to find the resources to care for your child. You are best finding a nursery with the resources to cope. That will probably mean a larger nursery, probably part of a chain. Small, independent nurseries don't tend to have the resources or expertise. And life can be hard if staff aren't in your corner. I have 2 children who had ehc plans. One of them was fine at nursery though autistic - the other was extremely challenging and I can't imagine how difficult it would have been if staff there hadn't supported me. I suggest you visit other nurseries and say nothing specific about your son at this stage, but check out the invlusivity policies, staff numbers, flexibility, sen expertise etc. Good luck.

Yes they can and they've done you a favour by being honest.

If your child is very low needs and doesn't require extra attention to a typical child then tell them this but at the end of the day, they are likely anticipating changing need as he grows older.
If you're not under any professionals exploring neurodiversity then you've probably shot yourself in the foot a bit there.

If you read properly the op said the child may have that does not mean the child definitely does, the child met all their milestones so it could possibly be that the child has a few quirks.

And this is what happens when you label your child.

Only yourself to blame here. Doing your own diagnosis, wtaf

Hi OP. Moving forward it might be helpful for you to contact Family Information Service known abbreviated as FIS. They help families find suitable childcare, your area might ask nurseries for an inclusion statement (or similar) this outlines skills, training and the inclusive ethos of provision.
in relation to pathways of support it may be also helpful to research your LA Local Offer.
Whilst settings are a business they do also receive public funding so should have due regard for the SEND Code of Practice.
Its a reality that there are high numbers of children with additional needs and growing complexity. Yes, there is a retention and recruitment crisis and the sector is chronically underfunded. However, this is your child and it’s so unfair that children with additional needs are at a disadvantage.
Contact is a wonderful charity which is well worth a look at as it helps understand legality particularly around EHCP’s should you decide to request an EHCNA. Good luck, the fight shouldn’t be what it is and I hope that your little one gets the support, nurture and enabling environment to thrive.

Private nurseries can refuse. If he has no diagnosis I'd have probably not said anything tbh. If they had concerns they would have spoke to you, shot yourself in the foot there.

NOT TRUE

If the child has a government funded place which is universal, they CANNOT do this.

Is it a chain? If so which one?

Absolutely idiotic incorrect responses on this thread. Typical MNs who have no idea of the law.
This is disability discrimination. They cannot cherry pick. They can however apply to the LA for inclusion funding ( hint ....inclusion ! ) that helps the nursery with additional costs of SEN
Id be complaining to the LA and Ofsted

It’s not as black and white as that. Our LA have told us - when confirming they would not be able to provide any inclusion funding for a particular child who we nevertheless admitted - that it is a case of being able to balance the need to be inclusive and being able to meet needs safely.

What @BonnyBo said.
It really isn't as black and white as some people are trying to make out.

They can however apply to the LA for inclusion funding

Well yes, you can apply . That doesn't mean you will receive it.
If you do receive it, it doesn't cover the costs of employing someone extra for the time the child is in.
Even if you do decide to use some of the funds from the Nursery to add to the inclusion fund to employ someone, for the last couple of years it has been nigh on impossible to actually find someone to work those hours.

There is a crisis in the Early Years sector and that is BEFORE the Government's totally not thought out plan to offer more "free" hours from April and then September. It is only when you try to find a place you begin to find out about some of the issues.