To insist DH drives us?

[Woozywoozer]

DH drives. I don't (medical reasons)

DD has an appointment at 4pm every Monday for the next 12 weeks.

The appointment is in Manchester city centre.

We live close to a tram station so last week he dropped us off there on the way to him getting DS.

It's the same time local high school gets out, 2 of them I fact, and it was absolutely RAMMED.
With teens shouting, fighting, pushing, swearing.

DD is Autistic (shes going to art therapy) and hated it.

DH can pick DS up with us in car then take us to town by 4pm but it would mean him stuck in traffic a bit and driving in Manchester town which he hates (he's only been driving a year)

But we would happily get the tram home later. I just really don't want to get it at school time as it's really distressing for DD (and me, I'm autistic too) to have all the kids screaming. Last week some kid was making comments about DDs stickers on her headphones. But she didn't hear.

DH doesn't work on a Monday. Has no other commitments and it's me that's taking DD every week and sat for 90 mins in a waiting room then getting tram home.

AIBU to tell him I really want him to drop us off?

There's no other appointment slots available and she's been waiting 2 years for this.

Which tram do you get OP? And where is the art therapy session? Just wondering if a train would be better than the tram and you getting off at Piccadilly or Victoria would be better (if its still a bit of a walk from Market St)?

Agree with everyone who’s highlighting the horrible traffic in Manchester. It might benefit your husband to book a couple of lessons in the city - if you aren’t used to it city centre driving is a big jump from the suburbs. I grew up in a rural area but learned to drive in central Liverpool and it gave me a big head start over school friends.

Tbh I don't think you get to 'insist' anything

You both have things you are uncomfortable with. A taxi could be a solution

@Williaint I was having a good old swear driving around Leeds the other day - and hats off to you driving in Marrakech 😮‍💨

I think that a year of driving isn’t that newly qualified, and when it’s a route you are local to so can practice, and it’s to benefit an autistic child going to therapy? Then, I’m on the drippy driver eye roll. Fine if the trade off of time isn’t worth it, but I’d be ashamed of myself if after a year of driving I would let my child down just because I “didn’t like driving” - even if it was the Top 1 city in that survey!

If you are an inexperienced driver driving round unfamiliar city centres isn't much fun and can be very stressful.

TBH it is not much fun even if you are an experienced driver.

Think I know where you’re going. If you can afford it, the least stressful way to do this is an Uber from near St Peter’s square (I chose to do that when I had to go there recently, despite having a car - it cost less than £6 with a tip). The second least stressful way to do it is bus from St Peter’s square if you can time that right. The most stressful possible way to do this is to drive there with another, non appointment-attending child in the car.

I think the driving in Manchester at that time of day, for a relatively new driver would be awful and easily as stressful as sitting on a tram. I think you have to manage on the tram, but try to get out of school earlier still and DH and you take it in turns.

Yes, it is.

We got here at 3.55, time for her to sit a few mins and have a drink so I think getting the 3.15 train is best option a sits enough time.

I thought we would be late.

Yea newly qualified prob wrong, inexperienced is prob what i meant.

It was only about 2 miles in Marrakech, but id rather do that with my eyes shut than do Manchester again anytime soon. whenever I have to go there for work I try every trick in the book to palm the job off on to someone else 😬

Milton Keynes also a funny old place, they do love a good roundabout there.

Infact I've just remembered last time i knew a job was coming up in Manchester I booked the day off so I was off the available list, waited until someone else got selected, then cancelled my holiday 🤣

Edited - very outing. Sorry Marion if you're reading this hope you enjoyed Manchester 🤣

I don't blame him to be honest. Driving in Manchester is a circle of hell.

An inexperienced driver and busy city traffic doesn't seem like a good combination, but then if he doesn't start driving in the city how will he gain the experience? On the other hand, given that Manchester has reasonable public transport, and considering the negative environmental impact of another car clogging the streets, I think that public transport has to be the answer. Doesn't Manchester have a congestion charge yet? If not it will soon, and experience of driving in the city will, to all intents and purposes, be useless anyway!!

YABU to ask him to drive you.
Arrange to pick DD up earlier to avoid school rush. Swap alternative weeks with him.

Why doesn't he just take her?

Why are you going too?

Because DS needs picking up from school at 3.15 and it's a 45 min walk. So if I don't take her I'll be walking for 90 minutes to get him and I'm lazy 😂

I've been driving for decades and hate driving in Manchester City centre. What I would do is tell the school and pull your child out an hour earlier, get an earlier train and go for a drink before she has to go in to her appointment.

Last two times I've driven in Manchester I've got a ticket for being in a bus lane. Not intentionally. The roads change at a day's notice and lots of the City Centre roads have closures or have been pedestrianised. I worked in Manchester for three years and always got the tram. An inexperienced driver would struggle. I'd take her out of school earlier as it's a temporary thing. It will avoid the school crush too

Sounds like you got it sorted with a later tram so that's good. I was going to say that in a situation like this, our compromise is usually that DH would drive us to a slightly different station so that we could take an earlier train or even just get on earlier before the crowds do. this works where we are (going towards London) as the train stops around here are all no more than 10 minutes apart by car.

DH drives. I don't (medical reasons)

First sentence of the OP.

Is it an hour one way or round trip? Either way you would be hugely unreasonable to expect this from him, and also for your son to have to sit and be carted along, especially if the only reason for you not picking him up yourself is you're lazy.
Do you work given you're having a go at dh for his day off?

I LOVE driving - I've had a license for more than 25 years, hold an HGV license, have driven in Paris, London, Tokyo and New York yet I swear I have never been as stressed as the time I accidentally found myself driving through Manchester city centre on a late Tuesday afternoon.

It's an absolute bin fire.

The lazy was a bit of a selfjibe and joke.

I can't actually physically walk for 90 mins for the medical reasons that keep me from driving.

I'm disabled so I've had to stop working in the last 3 years but before that I worked full time (and drove)

But is it 1hr round trip or 2 in total for them to get home?

I'm a pretty condiment driver with 30 years' experience. I'd share a crowded tram with school kids for 20 mins rather than over an hour in city centre traffic.

It doesn't sound like DD is that distressed if she can't hear what's going on in her headphones?

Although, if that is a problem, take her out of school a bit earlier. It's not nice of the school to allow her out, you tell them what you need.