Children on Ipads in restaurants

[Somersetlady]

Away in a resort. I am shocked by the number of children on ipads for the entire sitting of a meal. Breakfast lunch and dinner.

Buffet to fine dining.

From todlers upwards.

No social interaction with parents or staff and mindless eating whilst inhaling cartoons.

i understand that parents want a bit of a break but surely this is shockingly bad for the children?

@MoreDangerousThanAWomanScorned Im an 80s child & a Londoner. There is no way you can compare todays plethora of coffee shops, family restaurant chains etc now vs back then. Like I said it wasn’t the norm to go for brunch even without the dc, now it’s a completely regular occurrence. I would argue everyone including dc eats out far more these days.

I can’t comment on package holidays as my parents would find those worse than screens! 😆

I 100% agree with you but countless come along and accuse of judging. We notice exactly the same thing when we go on holiday - children in pushchairs taken into the restaurant with screen already on and remaining on for the duration of the meal and whilst they get back into their pushchair. When DC1 was under 1, I always used to say to my ILs not to judge because our children had not reached that age but now they have (we are well past the pushchair age), I can safely say there is categorically no need for a NT child to need a screen in front of their face to eat their meal.

It leads onto the next thing we see on holidays and when out - a group of older children all sitting around a table glued to their respective screens rather than any sort of conversation with each other.

I despair for future social interaction.

However, I am impressed at how many people's toddlers can apparently colour, do sticker books, etc without adult input. We take those sorts of things but it very much means we still interact with them! Which is why people love screens- nothing else zombifies them like that.

@Gobolina no they're not feral children, they are domesticated. It's only on rare occasions they throw their pop at people and only ever people who deserve it. And I don't use screens at every meal on holidays.

But on the days they're pissed off at having to wait for their breakfast until everyone else is dressed or the dining room is open, or when they'd rather stay in the pool, or when they haven't napped and are wiped I'll absolutely give them a screen and not ask them to perform and to pretend they're adults and can regulate their emotions enough to sit through a meal in a restaurant.

If they're none of those things sometimes they get a colouring book and that way when we ignore our children and they ignore servers we don't get anyone thinking the alternate is feral children because colouring books are morally superior to screens.

I don't really understand your point - if eating out is so much more common then surely it's even more important that children learn how to actually socialise and interact during it?

This.

This thread isn’t about anything other than children on phones whilst eating.

less chewing
poorer indigestion
mindless eating
ignoring staff
Lack of social skills
inability to sit quietly for short periods of time as ages appropriate as other posters have pointed out.

It is ridiculous. It’s just not necessary at all.

And then these same parents whinge their kids won’t behave in public/have no attention span/can’t take them out for a meal at 5/6/7.

It’s lazy parenting.

There’s this thing called good parenting where you don’t allow them to run amok! Engage with them, bring little toys or books to distract them with. We managed this successfully with our babies/toddlers/small children in restaurants in recent years. It takes a little more effort than an iPad but it’s perfectly possible to have a child with you in a restaurant who is not on an iPad and not disturbing other diners either.

Massively judgemental op here. Do you even have kids? Parents rarely get to go out, putting the kids on iPads whilst waiting for food keeps them quiet, it prevents disturbing other guests, and it's quite rare. We're not talking daily.
You need to stop judging others and ask yourself why you think you're so high and mighty that you can judge when you've no idea if people's circumstances. It might be the only meal the parents get out.

You're the issue here mate. Have a word with yourself.

Some might be ASD?

There's a saying in America-
Mind Your Business.
Fitting here I think?

OP, why have you quoted yourself to agree with yourself? If you’re going to sock yourself, at least be better at it. 🤣

@MoreDangerousThanAWomanScorned

My point was many adults know how to conduct themselves in a restaurant (not all) despite it being unusual to go to them when younger so clearly it’s just not about exposure?
Is your point that because a dc watches a screen they won’t be able to know how to behave in a restaurant when older? Does this apply to toys, colouring, stickers?

What on earth did older parents do? Take colouring, card games or get a babysitter, that's what. The latter is what my parents did, the former what I did. When I was young and at Pontins the kids sat together in a SEPARATE ROOM and away from the adults when eating!!

On balance I think it's wonderful that young kids are with their adults, but they should be involved IMO - like games or drawing and not on screens.

😂

Have you seen the film Wall-E? It's basically a prediction of our future 😆

OP, why have you quoted yourself to agree with yourself? If you’re going to sock yourself, at least be better at it.

Oops!

Is the OP actually on holiday? If so why are you socking yourself, there must be something better to do?! I should be putting on a wash & doing yoga but…

YANBU OP. I never judge an individual family - a good friend's DS could only cope with eating out if he had an iPad because of his ASD. The iPad allowed him to access extended family occasions and wasn't that wonderful.

Completely agree in general though. Ours are 5 and 3, we brought iPads on holidays last year but only for the plane. They sat through every meal with quiet toys and occasionally not even that. If one of them gets antsy one of us will bring them for a walk.

We would definitely have a more relaxing time if they had screens but it's important to us that they learn how to behave in restaurants. No TV during meals at home either except weekend breakfast and maybe the odd weekend that we're watching a match or something. Or ATM, we'll all watch Gladiators together.

I think the key is just to never start.

We were in Greece last summer and noticed this, but interestingly a lot more from the British families, there were lots of German and Dutch families at the same resort and there were no devices at the tables adults and children.
We don't let DS watch our phones at all and no-one of us have a tablet. If it's going to be a long meal he does take some colouring but he's generally happier talking to people and we go on holiday to spend time together not to get a break from him

I have a 2 year old and we don't give him the iPad but I don't judge others who do.

As PP's say, you don't know the full situation. Some children are only given iPads in restaurants (which could be less than once a week) or just in the car and may be a good way to keep the kids quiet and everyone happy. Would you be complaining they were too noisy and the parents weren't doing enough to keep them quiet if they didn't have iPads?

I also don't see how you can say it's a sorry state of affairs for the kids because again they may have sit down at the table meals with their parents and no decides every other day of the week. Some children are overwhelmed by new environments so something familiar can be good for them.

I think people forget we can all be judged. I don't give my child an iPad but my child may have more sugar than others or not be as strict with diet or bedtime. There is always something to point the finger at if you're looking but there's probably four pointing back you too.

No TV during meals at home either except weekend breakfast and maybe the odd weekend that we're watching a match or something. Or ATM, we'll all watch Gladiators together

See it wouldn’t cross my mind to have tv on when eating breakfast or dinner at home. I don’t have a TV near the kitchen table for one. Mine don’t need screens any more but we used them occasionally when toddlers because sometimes one of us just didn’t want to go for a walk & return to cold food!

There is always something to point the finger at if you're looking but there's probably four pointing back you too.

@NUtowanttosleep very true!

The difference between colouring in and watching an iPad is that you can still interact with others at the table whilst colouring whereas when watching something on the iPad kids (and adults) become totally absorbed and zone out everything else. They’re also happy to stop the colouring when the meal arrives rather than either melt down that they have to stop watching to eat, or continuing to watch while they eat, which is teaching damaging habits.

OP has realised her error 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣