Children on Ipads in restaurants

[Somersetlady]

Away in a resort. I am shocked by the number of children on ipads for the entire sitting of a meal. Breakfast lunch and dinner.

Buffet to fine dining.

From todlers upwards.

No social interaction with parents or staff and mindless eating whilst inhaling cartoons.

i understand that parents want a bit of a break but surely this is shockingly bad for the children?

A meal time is the epitome of how a family interacts in general.

No just chatting about they day what they have seen and enjoyed.
they are engaging with staff ordering their food and saying please and thank you etc

If you consider that high standards rather than normal social etiquette we are in sad times indeed.

THIS!

I completely agree! The people who bitch about children on iPads etc would be the same ones tutting and clucking and shaking their head if the children were being noisy bc they were bored. It’s not always a case of poor behaviour or bad parenting. Some children, as in chdn with ASD are just noisy bc that is how they self regulate, it’s called stimming. They can’t help it. If they are distracted by a favourite cartoon or programme it means they can quietly enjoy a change of scene with their parents and siblings, and their parents don’t have to worry about them ‘upsetting’ other diners by being loud etc. Do ppl who complain about this seriously prefer them to be being noisy/running round bc they’re bored, or being locked away at home all the bloody time? If they are sitting quietly what the hell is the problem? Can only assume ppl who have an issue with this are unaware that children are NOT all the same and parents usually work with a strategy that works the best for them. Just bc your chdn didn’t need distracting bc they are NT - good for you! Count yourself lucky instead of judging others who’s shoes you probably wouldn’t want to step into for 5 minutes! It’s like criticising mothers who don’t breastfeed bc you found it a piece of cake or parents who give their chdn dummies to sleep when yours didn’t need one. We can all look down on other ppl who find certain elements of parenting more challenging than we do for multiple reasons - here’s a wild idea - why don’t you just enjoy your bloody meal and the company of the person you are with and stop choosing to be offended by people who are trying to get on with their lives without upsetting other people!

They’re on holiday. It’s a holiday for all - more chill for the parents, more fun for the kids.

We rarely do screens at the table but I took my 3 kids to Wetherspoons (so, not a restaurant 🤣) and got the iPad out for one of them (6 years old). No internet so I jokingly said ‘omg what are we going to do now, the iPad won’t work!’ And the look I got from the table across the room…. 🤣 They looked at me, looking at them, openly talking to each other about me, saying ‘how sad’ and looking me up and down 😁 I just judged them right back for being judgy and we all got on with our days.

"this just doesn't happen"

goes on to observe is does happen in "family restaurants where children's chatter and noise is welcomed"

I'm Greek, I'm from an island that's not particularly touristy for Brits (popular with Russians and Turks but not really westerners) and I can assure you that children and families are very welcome, we walk around, we greet each other, we play with our kids, we join each others' tables for a while - we are pro family and we don't expect kids to sit stiff at a table like extras in Downton Abbey.

I'm not as worried about the future of nice meals out as I am about raising a generation who can't cope with being a bit bored.

I don’t think social media is healthy & of course a phone addiction is bad. I just personally wouldn’t assume that was the natural path for a dc using an ipad at lunch. Granted I’ve never been anywhere where the entire u10 population is on an ipad for the entirety of the meal.

Actually it was my own children who first pointed it out. They asked if could have our phomes for eating as “everyone else” was.
i went to say don’t be so daft thinking it would be one or two diners and it was every child there bar a handful. We were eating early at 7.

I’m not a fan of screens at the table for my kids (or for us) - we like long leisurely meals on holiday and older one now just chats with us and younger one has activity book for when there’s no food in case they’re bored (gets put away when eating).

But I couldn’t care less what other parents do as long as the children aren’t up and down from the table or excessively noisy. I do think headphones should be used if they’re watching an iPad though as the sound tends to be more intrusive on other diners with inevitable music etc from kids tv. We’ve had to (politely) ask people to turn down their v loud iPads before as it was really ruining our meal.

we don’t live in UK there is no school for them today!

I mean this works with the age of your children but my just turned 2 year old not a chance.

We use tablets as the last level so colouring, small toy cars, distraction etc first but a few occasions the only way for us to eat anything is to get them out as my toddler will literally inhale food then want to be done and running around.

I do think parents can't win either they are scowled at for children making noise or tutted at for a tablet though!

@MartinsSpareCalculator is right. Years ago, before portable screens, people probably ate in a restaurant less frequently, or talked between themselves more frequently. If children eat at the dinner table at home, they’re more used to the expectation that you sit, eat and converse when you go to a restaurant.

Busy lives mean that maybe this isn’t what people do. Maybe they don’t all eat together, because of working patterns or other commitments. However, I do think that eating together, conversing together and using a knife and fork when appropriate, is a life skill that’s useful at least.

we don’t live in UK there is no school for them today!

What are you dc doing whilst you’re on a screen?

Is it that unusual? Give them the crayons and the colouring book, and they’ll show me when they’re done but for the time they’re colouring they’re absorbed in it, and I’m not sure how I would be expected to get involved in that? In fact they both (3 and 6YO) prefer you not to look and to reveal a surprise at the end! I get peeling stickers for a 2YO that might not have the fine motor skills though but I probably wouldn’t have taken a sticker book until it could be an independent activity. Not because I hate interacting with them or anything but I do also want a little bit of adult conversation!

Your daughter is lucky it seems

I cook every meal for our family and we sit together at the table every night without screens, however, when I’m on holiday we eat out at a restaurant for every meal because it’s my time to relax. We’ve probably spent all day at a museum or a water park having family fun and it’s our turn to to chill out. DS finds meals out very dull because he’s 5 and it’s a lot of waiting around. I usually take lots of toys and activities but it doesn’t always cut it and that’s when a screen comes out to play on a CBeebies game. I will also add that people in the UK look down on children making noise. On our European trips our DS has regularly been invited to sit with a children’s table where they’re allowed to be as rowdy as the adults and nobody glares at them for existing.

Tbh we just didn't eat out when ours were that age. No fun and not fair on them when they weren't able for it. We did the odd coffee shop trip or brunch but no full restaurant meals. Started again when they got to 2.5 I guess? Started small and worked up and now they can sit through a meal no bother with no screens. Like I said I think the key is to never start, once they are used to it then of course they expect it. It's definitely the harder route though.

Far from it I’m sure.

it seems there might be a lack of understanding of how bad it is for children to do this though? And that many people seem to just do it on holidays.

some give phones after eating which is also different from my observation in the initial post.

we all want different things for our children and thats fine!

It keeps them quiet. You wouldn't like it if they were making a racket either would you?

Are you judging me for taking my kids out of school🤣

not in UK different holidays.

didn’t expect the thread to blow up like this and i was genuinely interested In peoples opinions as haven't been to a resort hotel since had them.

Pic attached with todays paper.

are you troll hunting? Because you’re looking in the wrong place…..

This has been addressed. It doesn’t have to be only two options- iPad or being noisy. There are plenty of ways to make sure kids aren’t noisy in restaurants, interacting with them being a key one.

Tbh we just didn't eat out when ours were that age. No fun and not fair on them when they weren't able for it. We did the odd coffee shop trip or brunch but no full restaurant meals. Started again when they got to 2.5 I guess? Started small and worked up and now they can sit through a meal no bother with no screens. Like I said I think the key is to never start, once they are used to it then of course they expect it. It's definitely the harder route though.

I wouldn’t been able to not eat out for years (have more than 1 dc). However used them sometimes for toddlers but was very easy to remove them without any issue.

less chewing
poorer indigestion
mindless eating
ignoring staff
Lack of social skills
inability to sit quietly for short periods of time

Good lord, that's a lot of close observation. You've managed to count average numbers of chews across a sizeable sample size, comparing screen and non-screen counts in individual children. You've somehow also studied their individual digestive systems, quantified vague terms like "social skills" to apply in a research setting AND controlled for all other factors when determining ability/inability to sit quietly!

Clever you.

I try not to judge parents. You don't know their story and as others have said, the rules are probably relaxed on holiday.

Personally, I would be lying if I said I never give my son his tablet at meals out, however it is rare and I would much rather they learn to communicate what they want to the server and practise their manners.

But everyone deserves downtime, even kids. Mine certainly eats more when he is watching something.

Pic attached with todays paper.

I genuinely don’t understand why you are on MNs! I’m bored & wish I was on holiday, 1 wk to go!

@Mnetcurious frankly I wanted a holiday from interaction with my kids but I couldn't find a babysitter for 2 weeks.