Children on Ipads in restaurants

[Somersetlady]

Away in a resort. I am shocked by the number of children on ipads for the entire sitting of a meal. Breakfast lunch and dinner.

Buffet to fine dining.

From todlers upwards.

No social interaction with parents or staff and mindless eating whilst inhaling cartoons.

i understand that parents want a bit of a break but surely this is shockingly bad for the children?

I think there's a big difference between only encountering restaurants as an adult and actively being taught from toddlerhood that it's a place that you stare at a screen with no interaction at others. You seem to think at some point they'll just snap out of it and start having nice conversations at the table - that's not what I see around me, I see people just finding it harder and harder to get their kids off the devices as they get older.

I'm not as worried about the future of nice meals out as I am about raising a generation who can't cope with being a bit bored.

The Inability to be bored or entertain themselves without a gadet is one of the biggest challenges facing teens today.

It's not either/or as so many people claim, ie- either digital tranquillisers or they run amok, there are other ways to keep kids occupied

Like others have said this is a snapshot of their day! Maybe the parents want a few minutes of peace and conversation without choking down their meals? I give my dc a tablet when we go out because otherwise they’d be climbing under the table, turning round, wanting to get up and explore - that would be way more disruptive to everyone, so instead they can play a few games on their tablet! When we leave it goes away. Everyone’s a winner.

This. I give mine an ipad sometimes on the rare occasions we eat out as its unfair to expect a toddler to sit for ages without running around and annoying everyone. He doesn't get screens at the table at home, ever. So it's definitely not 'shockingly bad' for him to do this once every 6 weeks or so

This is a genuine question.

Do you children find you so boring that it is too much to sit through a meal in your company?

or that you finding interacting with each other boring and would rather interact with a screen?

The difference between colouring in and watching an iPad is that you can still interact with others at the table whilst colouring whereas when watching something on the iPad kids (and adults) become totally absorbed and zone out everything else. They’re also happy to stop the colouring when the meal arrives rather than either melt down that they have to stop watching to eat, or continuing to watch while they eat, which is teaching damaging habits.

Surely this depends on what they are watching or doing eg an app?
And my dd would give up the ipad far more easily then colouring pens.

Tbh I think I stressed about screen time to much as when they got to primary they had chromebook’s.

That surely should be normal? A group of nine year olds interacting at a meal with no screens?

no my comment said ten minutes either side of a meal so 20 minutes plus the meal duration.

I've seen this subject quite a few times on here. Replies are split between those who allow their children to sit on screens and those who don't and never the twain shall meet. I don't like seeing it and I feel sorry for children who spend a whole meal watching a screen with no one talking to them.

Chromebooks at school are an entirely different matter

No sadly not at all. There is so much research in this area now.

Here is one article:

https://allroundclub.com/blog/mobile-phones-impact-kids/

Do you children find you so boring that it is too much to sit through a meal in your company?

Again there is nuance. I eat dinner with my dc everyday, sometimes the conversation is a little dry…

Generally my position with these things is if something doesn't impact me then I'm not bothered. So if the tablet is on silent or headphones are being used then crack on.

However, it is undeniable that there has been a massive shift in how people parent. Small children are expected to fit into an adult centric experience now, whereas 20-30yrs ago, dining out wasn't something done all that frequently for the majority. Granted, I understand there's no real avoiding it when on holiday, it's just a general observation. I see a lot of parents dining or drinking together pretty much to the complete exclusion of their children who are expected to behave responsibly whilst enduring what must be incredible boredom for them.

And because there's little interaction, these children aren't actually learning how to behave properly, and aren't developing the requisite social skills to carry them through such situations later in life. I don't blame the children at all, I blame parents who don't prioritise the childrens needs.

As for screen use amongst adults, it's incredibly rude and quite sad. If you're out with your partner, friends or family I'd expect you would want to enjoy their company, and I don't see why a phone should factor into that. But people are largely addicted to smartphones, so just leaving them alone is really difficult as social media has trained people to think they need to know exactly what's going on all of the time.

And mindless eating, whether looking at a tablet or a TV, is proven to be a huge factor in overeating and subsequent obesity rates. It isn't a healthy way to eat and I really don't think any parent should encourage these behaviours.

So what do all you tech heads think parenrts if young kids did before screens? You don't need screens to entertain young children

@Somersetlady youre absolutely right to be concerned but as you can see you’re in a minority. There are of course lots of other ways to keep kids entertained - but plug ‘em in and keep ‘em quiet is the order of the day. It’s very sad.

Yes.

ND aside, I do think conversation is a skill and it has to be learned through practice. It takes effort.

But my DH felt the same so its always been a united front of dinner at the table, no screens at meals & we both participate in the conversation.

If one be parent is trying to encourage conversation while the other doom scrolls in front of the kids, it's much, much harder & can see the other parent giving up.

The last time I was on holiday, I saw the dad and 2 young kids on screens at breakfast every morning and the mum doing all the grunt work, parents need to be a good role models and get off their screens

Normally stay at business not family hotels so just wandering if this is normal or just specific to this region or the majority of nationalities here.

apologies for being interested in the evolving world and what the future looks like in new social norms.

That surely should be normal? A group of nine year olds interacting at a meal with no screens

who said it wasn’t normal, I was referring to the time in the restaurant.

no my comment said ten minutes either side of a meal so 20 minutes plus the meal duration.

I don’t understand what point you are making above, it would be unusual for me to receive my main within 10 mins of arriving unless in a coffee shop.

@Somersetlady why are you not interacting with your dc? or just enjoying your holiday? surely there is something else to do besides mumsnet?

This i would say is more “normal” in the country which we live.
that you would see kids be given a tablet after the meal is over rather than not taking their eyes of it from the minute they are seated (even in high chairs)

Actually I havent been on mumsnet for months.

i though that it was a place that would be able to answer my question.

children are doing an activity if thats ok with you? 🤣

I go to Italy a lot and this just doesn't happen. There are family restaurants where children's chatter and noise is welcomed, and there are many many restaurants that are not family restaurants and where children running around and shouting would most definitely not be welcomed.

Kind of like in the UK really. Except the more family oriented places are probably more common in the tourist/holiday sort of locations in Italy and Greece.