To think the school should do something?

[Bwahaha]

My children go to a primary school in London with children from diverse national and religious backgrounds. There are no rules around what food parents are allowed to bring into the classroom except the usual ban on nuts.
As a result, children are constantly getting a ton of treats: it really adds up with more than twenty birthdays, lots of national, international, and religious holidays. Once the class rep even brought cupcakes to celebrate their dog’s birthday.
Last week alone my child had fairy bread for Australia day heaped with hundreds and thousands, a cake takeaway, and a massive cupcake with tons of sugar cream for someone’s birthday the next day. As you can imagine, they simultaneously took a 3 day holiday from dinner.

AIBU to think the school leadership are missing in action here? And should maybe help the parents understand this is not ok?
Also, if you’re a parent, knowing what we know about sugar today, do you really think it’s ok to give other people’s kids treats all the time without asking?

There should be a policy that children don’t bring food in for occasions. My DD’s school has this in place. Not unreasonable to talk to the school about this.

YANBU

I’d definitely think it’s something to raise and it’s a really good point! At primsry school I remember chocolate handed out for birthdays but that’s it. Maybe the school needs to enforce a rule to limit it to that.

Thank you @PSEnny & @MariaVT65 . I have been reluctant to speak to the school so far because I didn’t want to be that parent. But last week may have pushed me over the edge!
For those who voted I’m being unreasonable, what is your perspective? Can we perhaps still agree that handing out cupcakes in class for a dog’s birthday, while generous, is an over the top act of interference?

The dog thing is ridiculous!

Don’t worry about being ‘that parent’. The childhood obesity crisis and also the childhood teeth/dentistry crisis are all over the news.

I think healthy eating should be encouraged but people complain Mothers and Fathers day should nt be celebrated as it may offend, then there is 'we can't have excursions as not everyone can go', 'we can't have events on as parents work', there is parentis evening so parents complain about that, Christmas and easter can't be celebrated as it has to be be non religious and santa may offend, dress up days are a pain and cost, now there is too much food, is there any events that can be organised without complaints?

YANBU.
It would annoy me too and the school probably needs some sort of policy on this, as PP say.
The dog thing is ridiculous.

@WandaWonder I’m not sure you fully understand my post. To be clear, I LOVE it that the children at school celebrate each other, many different nationalities and religions. It’s wonderful!

I just wish they would do it with something different than sugar. We live in a world where the harm sugar does is very well understood. And there are lots of cheap options for activities to do, wonderful books to read on pretty much every type of event.

Also, how do you encourage healthy eating as suggested in your post if you are simultaneously throwing cake at the children all the time?

I don’t think your comparisons are reasonable tbh. It’s not a case of being offended. It’s about kids being given lot of sugar to consume and missing healthier meals.

Have you not seen the news articles about increased childhood obesity or how the top reason for kids ending up in hospital is for dental treatment?

I think that sounds lovely actually, dd earts healthily at home so I've no problem with the birthday cupcakes and other treats that come around. I'd be sad to see them stopped as i also think it's a social thing. I don't really see why one treat in a day means your child doesn't eat their dinner.

This.

I’ll probably be an outlier but ……. your kids don’t need to eat it. Out of my kids one would never have eaten it as they don’t like cake, and another wouldn’t have eaten it most times as they have always been VERY specific about the type of cake they have, if it isn’t choc mud with ganache, it doesn’t pass their lips (yes, they had this as a child as well, a non-mud choc, or even a choc-mud with butter frosting rather than ganache may as well have been a dog turd🤣). Just tell your kids not to eat it if you don’t want them to? We also had a rule with lolly bags, whether it was from a class party, birthday party, special event etc that the bag was brought home untouched and it was divided between all siblings. That way you can also control when it’s consumed - such as, not now but you can all have your portion on Saturday. Mine are adults and doing this hasn’t scarred them at all.

This all reminds me of a canteen debacle at one of my kids primary schools. Some parents went manic over the fact unhealthy lunch options could be purchased - because that’s what their kids ate🤯. The rest of us suggested they control their kids orders (all had to be pre-ordered) and order them a salad sandwich rather than meat pie every day. But seemingly Billy whinged that they wanted a pie. So they got a pie every day🙄. One parent even accused us of being responsible for their child being bullied as they were overweight - seemingly because of the shit lunch they ordered their child every day rather than one of the healthy options. My kids got a lunch order every 8 odd weeks, so taking holidays out, maybe 4 times a year, 5 max. Why limit their options and stop them having a pie or sausage roll as a treat on these occasions?

It’s all about parents teaching kids self-control, that comes from home and is not everyone else’s problem. You can get individual cup cake holders. Maybe get one and have them put it in that and bring home rather than eat it. Then you can control it by tossing, freezing for a suitable time, or cutting in quarters and letting them have some or sharing it around etc.

I really don't think half of those things actually happen!

OP I would raise it.

My children's school no longer allows cake and sweets for birthdays, for allergy and sugar reasons. No- one seems to mind. Contact the school and explain your concerns.

At my school, birthday or celebration treats were handed out at the end of the day. Then the parents could decide if or when their child could eat it. Blimey, if their diet is good at home, a few treats here and there aren't going to stop them eating their dinner.

DDs school don't allow bringing in cakes etc but they haven't for years so probably easier than trying to put it in now.
Instead some parents send in books for the class 10 for £10, scented tea lights for diwali, novel stationary etc, so it is doable.

You are being in unreasonable. Some children in my Sons class don't accept any type of birthday treats merely for celebration purposes not the sugar!

If YOU don't want your kid eating sugar then speak to the teachers. Don't you have a dietary request form? Most schools do.

@Bwahaha I have had this conversation with my child's school. I honestly don't understand why we have this obsession with celebrating everything with sugar.
We have sweet things in the house(very little) but we in no way make them into a treat. It teaches the wrong kind of food association and like another poster said we have an obesity crisis as well as a dental crisis.
The school tried to tell me that they only do it as a celebration, which I said I disadvantage with, then explained that it may be a Christmas celebration, an Easter celebration, Diwali etc then it may also be the kids birthdays. I pointed out that it may become a celebration every week then. They are reviewing the policy.
They have also sent out healthy teeth fliers and introducing brushing teeth in the classroom.
Very strange word we live in

I’m Australian and we barely celebrate Australia Day here. It’s offensive to the First Nations people as it’s celebrating a day of mourning for them. Yes we get a day off but most enlightened Australians don’t celebrate anything. Actually most people I saw celebrating were the new immigrants who got their citizenship on Australia Day.

i wouldn’t even like my kids to be part of any celebration for Australia Day that is absurd.

dog thing is absurd too. Kids bday fair enough.

*disagree not disadvantage!
Another poster said about teaches children self control. Yes absolutely, however, this is school, why are the school not teaching different ways to celebrate rather than guzzling mountains of sugar and additives? Surely if we as parents taught self control but then the school didn't shove these things at our kids that would be better?
On another point, how do you expect a 2 year old to feel if all the friends are eating cake or sweets but he knows he's not supposed to? Either feel different, or do it in secret, great, well done!

Our school doesn’t allow food to be brought in. Lollipops (which I also don’t agree with) can be purchased from the school office if you feel it essential to give a treat on a birthday. I think this is the right approach.

It isn’t just the sugar for me, I have a child who is allergic to dairy, eggs, lentils, nuts and sesame. Having to navigate both his safety and his exclusion from multiple celebrations every week would be so stressful.

There are other ways to celebrate than stuffing your face with crap everyday

How does having a cake at 3pm lead to your child not eating dinner? My DC eat almost continually....

I just can't get exercised about this stuff. My DC have a very healthy diet at home, we take good care of their teeth, they are very active and healthy weights. If you know they've had sweet treats at school then just calibrate and have less at home those days? Or just explain to your DC that they are to say "thank you but not for me" if you feel strongly about certain things. All my DC have JW classmates who do this. I have taught my DC to avoid things other people have touched as I'm paranoid about sickness bugs, so they say no to cakes but yes to for eg sweets in packets.

One of my DC has lots of children at school who are having a very hard time (refugee hotel) and can't attend parties and celebrations outside of school, so that class have actually upped the celebrations in school to ensure they are included as much as possible. There's also been a lot of sharing of different foods/traditions from around the world and that's been great for all the DC to expand their knowledge and horizons a bit.

I recommend you write a letter/email to the headteacher and chair of governors stating the following:

1. you are concerned about the number of sweet treats being handed out to children on a regular basis
2. despite the good intentions behind this, it undermines your authority as a parent and also means that your home cooked meals are going to waste as it disrupts your children’s hunger signals
3. you are concerned about the impact on dental health
4. the fact that this appears to be the norm means that there will be some struggling parents who feel undue pressure provide similar treats when they cannot afford to

I did exactly this after the umpteenth day of my children bouncing out of school holding a bag of haribo because it was yet another pupil’s birthday.

Headteacher and CoG got back to me straight away. ‘This is exactly what we needed to have the warrant to put in place a new policy’.

The whole phenomenon was banned.

my children have never forgiven me

One of our previous (state) schools banned bringing in things to eat for birthdays. Instead, each child was encouraged to bring a book to donate to the library instead. SO much better. (And actually cheaper than making 30 cupcakes!)