To think the school should do something?

[Bwahaha]

My children go to a primary school in London with children from diverse national and religious backgrounds. There are no rules around what food parents are allowed to bring into the classroom except the usual ban on nuts.
As a result, children are constantly getting a ton of treats: it really adds up with more than twenty birthdays, lots of national, international, and religious holidays. Once the class rep even brought cupcakes to celebrate their dog’s birthday.
Last week alone my child had fairy bread for Australia day heaped with hundreds and thousands, a cake takeaway, and a massive cupcake with tons of sugar cream for someone’s birthday the next day. As you can imagine, they simultaneously took a 3 day holiday from dinner.

AIBU to think the school leadership are missing in action here? And should maybe help the parents understand this is not ok?
Also, if you’re a parent, knowing what we know about sugar today, do you really think it’s ok to give other people’s kids treats all the time without asking?

I think you are massively over-reacting
Childhood obesity and rotten teeth aren't being driven by a snack a week from school
It's normal to celebrate events with sweet things - because they taste nice
And if your kid wasn't hungry for dinner you could have moved it a bit later or given them something lighter. It sounds like they were honouring their hunger.
Why spoil it for everyone?

Regarding the cultural tolerance aspect, if I were a savvy headteacher I’d be inviting said parents to join the parent commitee. Then I’d have the curriculum lead meet with them to gauge the possibility of augmenting the curriculum with a ‘world foods day’.

I agree. This all sounds a bit ridiculous, a bit of sugar every day is not going to harm them.

They probably just need to limit the number of occasions so maybe birthdays ( children not dogs)only. Then it’s going to be max once every couple of weeks given some kids won’t do it and others have birthdays in the holidays and then some will double up if kids have birthdays close to each other.

@Neodymium That’s a really interesting point about Australia day. Another parent in the class was pointing out that sometimes when parents come into class to lead activities for these celebrations they can be insensitive to the diverse opinions or experiences of children in the room.

According to the Australian mums leading this activity it’s common to have “Fairy cake” on Australia day which consists of bread covered in heaps of hundreds and thousands.

Oops. This may actually be a bit outing (but I have name changed for the occasion).

My DC’s school banned sweets and cakes for birthdays, to encourage healthy eating and teeth etc. It didn’t deter anyone, the birthday DC just stands outside the school gates a little bit away from the entrance handing them out instead, and the parent sends a message to the class WhatsApp group saying it’s the DC’s birthday and they’ll be there. At least as a parent you can control it if you don’t want your child to have any but going out of the other exit, although I think it’s harmless as it’s usually a teeny bag of haribo or a lolly.

The dog’s birthday cupcakes, Australia Day etc is taking it too far though.

I am so totally with you. We get sweets for 30 kids bdays and it really impacts my DD. Let alone her sister cannot have sugar due to a rare genetic condition so we are quite strict as a family and he sister won’t be allowed any of the stuff handed out at the school gate. I asked school to consider putting a stop to it for 3 reasons 1) health of our kids 2) cost / not everyone can afford it 3) inclusion and intolerances / allergies. Suggested bday kid brought in their favourite book to read instead. Was given flat no, it’s not their problem what parents hand out. I might take in some gummies or special brownies next time lol

Just say it nicely and you won't be 'that' parent. It's quite unusual for schools to do this. We ask parents to bring either something healthier or something tiny like bubbles to give out. Some children have bought the class a book before, too.

I’d say majority of kids it does impact their meal. Plus childhood obesity crisis. Plus inclusion of all the class. 2 out of my
3 DD can’t eat most of the stuff handed out

@HoppingPavlova Have you ever seen 4 and 5 year olds exercising a great deal of self control? Turning down chocolates and sugary treats while all their classmates happily guzzle them?
I did mention this is primary school in my OP - we’re not talking 10 year olds who should know better.

And to others who have suggested filling a form out: yes I could ask the school to leave my child out when treats are distributed. And how do you think they would feel then? I don’t think it would be fair to single out my child just because the school won’t do their job in gatekeeping and saying no to parents who should know better.

Also, for those saying a bit of sugar here and there can’t hurt, yes, I agree. But when your children start having it in school all the time you start to feel curtailed in your ability to serve it at home and do fun things like baking or going out for an ice cream because you know other parents have been giving your child cake while you entrust the school with their care.

At our school, if you want to give out sweets, they do it at pick up time. That way the parents can say no if they want and can intervene so it isn't eaten straight away. Obviously it's trickier when it is a cupcake, rather than a wrapped sweet.

As an aside, I don't find it easy to give out something cheap that is not sugary and not plasticity either!

On self control - actually mine are very self controlled and are in the early years of school. They ask if they can have something handed out at the end of the day and depending on time and plans I'll either say yea or have it for pudding.
They don't 'guzzle' but can keep things in a sweet box and have a little bit at a time.

Being over controlling and clearly conveying messages about how often you can have sugar does set it up as 'bad' whereas having a little bit most days helps them regulate and not put it in their heads as something really extra special

Things handed out at school shouldn't stop baking and ice cream at the weekend or at home unless you have decided to only have it once or twice a week. Which in itself is conveying a message that leads them to 'guzzle' when they get the opportunity

I agree OP. The schools my children went to had this rule and the schools i work at did too.

It’s not just a bit of sugar here and there. It’s most days, sometimes twice (Cubs, swimming, afterschool club etc often join in). Around Christmas and Easter it’s even more.

It means cake / sweets are no longer a treat (in the sense of something you have on a special occasion) but a daily part of their diet. That isn’t how I eat, and isn’t an healthy habit, in my opinion. And it meant I felt I couldn’t give them much sugar at home as they got so much elsewhere.

I’d ask primary school for a discussion about it, and offer solutions and alternatives that have been suggested on this thread.

Primary schools have 10 year olds in too. And it's entirely reasonable for you to have conversations from the get go with your child about different parents having different rules.

This doesn't go away op, how do you manage parties etc? In those early years of school my DC went to parties and ate rubbish nearly every weekend. That really did spoil their appetite for dinner at home. I just went with the flow, made sure we ate a healthy selection of nutritious food at home and took good care of their teeth.

Now they're in high school they are able to choose what they like in the canteen and could go to the shop and buy rubbish every day if they so choose. Luckily mine don't, (maybe because they haven't been hugely restricted?) And they largely make healthy and balanced choices.

I would be really wary of inflating this into a massive issue. Raise your concerns with school, talk to your child and ask them not to eat anything without asking you, but keep it all in perspective.

To those saying that there’s nothing wrong with having a bit of sugar every day, that’s true if you’re having a bit of fruit, but I’m not sure that’s actually right if you’re talking cakes and so on.

There’s a lot of science out there, quoting a Harvard study “Consuming foods and beverages high in added sugars during childhood is linked to the development of risk factors for hear disease, including an increased risk of obesity and elevated blood pressure.” & “Schools, parents, health professionals, and policy makers should work together to help children develop healthier eating and drinking habits at early age.”

Sugar is basically the new “smoking”.

And even if it were 100% healthy, why should other parents get to decide for me how often and how much sugar my child has access to? I find this quite undermines parenting strategies around how to develop healthy eating habits. For example, I may promise my child we’ll bake a cake on Thursday only to find out at pick up that they’ve already had a big cupcake with icing.

It isn't going to be every day though, is it. There are approx 30 children per class, and if each child brought in class treats a couple of times a year- once for their birthday, and once for their dog's birthday or religious festival, then you are averaging twice per year per child, which is 1.5 treats per week tops during term time. Just make sure they eat healthier at home and let them celebrate with their friends. Many cultures use sharing food as a way of strengthening their community ties.

Fairy bread for Australia Day is nonsense! It's for birthday parties. I have never once had it for Australia Day!

And yes all the school treats drives me crazy.
One time DS1 handed me a pamphlet about how to pack a healthy lunch box (which said no more that 2 sugary treats per week) with a lollipop the teacher had given him!

How often is this happening for it to be such a concern?

At DC school it's usually a small pack of Haribo with about 5 sweets in it?

Sugar is not the devil. Everything in moderation.

@Tempnamechng Who gets to decide if 1.5 times a week is ok? And what happens if some weeks it is more?
And let’s not forget that the school already gives the children sweet things like jello and custard or flapjacks as part of their balanced meal plans.

It’s surprising how many mumsnetters are against parents having a say in how often other parents can give their kids food (let alone sugar). And that’s after seeing tons of threads over the years about mums getting really stroppy over other parents giving their kid a sweetie at the park without asking.

Thanks for all the responses, it’s really opening my eyes. I thought it was just parents at my children’s school. (Or maybe they have shown up en masse to vote on this thread!!)
My partner is against me writing the school but I may just have to go ahead… I will report back.

We’re part of a no sugar thing in London at our school

If your child comes out with sweets it gives the parent the choice to say yes or no though? Don't see why you have to be a killjoy and try to ruin it for all the other kids.

Op have a look at London sugar free by 2022 as I’m not sure why your school wouldn’t be included

I a very diverse, inner London school. We used to have a day - usually the last day of term - where we could bring in food and snacks from around the world.

My DC go to a school that sounds very similar in terms of kids’ backgrounds but we don’t have anything like this. Nor is there a culture of giving stuff out on birthdays. So it’s not inevitable.