about crystals

[Thementalloadisreal]

Am I being unreasonable (or perhaps just mean / unsupportive / a bad friend) or is my friend being unreasonable here?

My friend has recently got into crystals. She has a fairly large collection of different ones and recently showed me them all and told me what they do. She carries them around with her, sleeps with them etc. She thinks that they have different energies and can affect her mood, mindset, confidence, etc.

I said I’m glad they make you feel that way but to me they feel like a silly distraction for women / girls (and some men to be fair) to spend their money on shiny shit that doesn’t actually do anything.

I feel bad that I upset her and its made me think that I was unreasonable - I’ve done some reading and it does seem to be that certain rocks / crystals have different qualities - maybe I was too quick to judge?

YABU - crystals are a real thing and affect human energy (and you were rude to your friend!)

YANBU - its a load of old codswallop and your friend should stop buying pretty stones and save her money

Also couldn’t help but mention the Peep Show episode with Crystal skulls. Don’t think she appreciated my humour.

YABU and not very nice to your friend.

YADefinitelyNBU. Your friend is mildly nutty, and crystals are just rocks - but you were a bit rude to her. I used to have a friend who was into crystals, and angels and tarot and all that tinkly-woo stuff. She spent a LOT of money on it all, but it wasn't my business at all, and she knew my feelings and never tried to push it on me.

Her DD once gave my DD a piece of rose quartz to help her be calm when my DD was going through a bad patch. I thought that was kind.

If it makes her happy & she can afford it then it’s not your place to tell her She’s wrong. It’s lovely for her to have a positive interest.
if I were you I’d buy her a nice bit of laboradite & say sorry.

Yeah I think you've been a bit rude. You're entitled to your opinion but you should respect hers. Heck, people believe in God, that's more bonkers to me than believing in crystals.

I’m sceptical but wouldn’t be rude to a friend

Load of bullshit but pretty to look at. Saying that, polished stones make good worry stones to have in your hand as a calming method. If it brings some joy I guess crack on. They make me feel better as they are aesthetically pleasing and putting them in water/moonlight etc is nice to have as a sort of ritual- because it is a way of stopping and just spending a few minutes in peace.

At the end of the day it’s absolute bullshit.

Some crystals are very good and beneficial to our bodies in the right amounts. Sucrose and sodium chloride for example.

Touching rocks for woo is weapons grade bollocks however.

At least crystals exist 🙈

I agree.

It is her money and her belief system

Whatever makes her happy and get through life the best way she can should make you feel happy for her - even if you don't share the same mindset

It’s a load of old nonsense but harmless enough. If she’s spending a bit of spare cash on some crystals that make her happy then it’s fine. If her kids are going without or she’s getting into debt to fund it then less so.

I recently realised the truth about crystals. They are dug out of holes in the ground in poor countries - they are valuable precious resources and the people digging are often children or poorly paid. They leave scars in the hills like any form of mining.

When I realised this I couldnt believe I hadn't thought it before - of course they are a form of horrible extraction of non replenishible resources

Truly anyone who thinks there is anything the least spiritual about crystals is seriously misguided. They are totally unethical.

So nope actually not harmless at all.

Ok so I was definitely rude. 100%
I can be too blunt sometimes. That’s fair.

I’d love to go back to her with an open mind.
To everyone who’s voted YABU so far, are crystals a “real” thing?? Should I be reading up on it?
Or do you mean I was rude and should have nodded along even tho it is BS.

You need to practice your smile and nod.

I've had a few crystals that have done fuck all but there's a lot out there to suggest there's some truth.

Just say you're sorry.

Oh god that’s awful. She did mention “ethical crystals” at one point so I guess she is aware of those issues. I had no idea tbh.

Wow, that’s pretty rude. I’m not surprised she is upset. You can disagree with her but still be tactful if you must object or just say something non-committal.

Some times it's not about being right, but more about being tactful when having a different opinion.

You were unnecessarily rude.

You're right that it's all bollocks, but she can spend her money on whatever she wants. Telling her you don't believe in it is fine. Saying it's a silly distraction for women was unpleasant. Everyone needs their distractions in life. Hers may be daft but it's harmless.

I said I’m glad they make you feel that way but to me they feel like a silly distraction for women / girls (and some men to be fair) to spend their money on shiny shit that doesn’t actually do anything.

So so rude. Even if you don't think the way she does about them you didn't need to be so rude about it. You owe her a massive apology.

Its a form of belief. I think you could approach a lot of belief systems with a very sceptical mind but I think there's a difference between being an atheist and going around constantly challenging people on their beliefs unasked. If someone was trying to force me to believe in crystals/horoscopes/transubstantiation etc that's different.

Some people collect stamps, coins, pokemon. Whatever. Humans like to collect and organise.

I will definitely apologise for my rude reaction. It was very flippant of me. I was surprised as I didn’t know she was into crystals until just then and I’d not had time to think it through.

I just don’t know whether the apology is
A. “I’m sorry I was rude, I’m glad you have this in your life to make you happy”
B. “I’m sorry I was rude, you are right crystals are powerful and have a real effect on human energy”

To everyone who’s voted YABU so far, are crystals a “real” thing?? Should I be reading up on it? No. It's bollocks.
Or do you mean I was rude and should have nodded along even tho it is BS. This. You should have shown polite interest in your friend's interest, perhaps aked exactly how this crystal energy thing works if you wanted to sow doubt. And you were also inappropriate in your YANBU to suggest that she shouldn't spend money on something that gives her pleasure.