about crystals

[Thementalloadisreal]

Am I being unreasonable (or perhaps just mean / unsupportive / a bad friend) or is my friend being unreasonable here?

My friend has recently got into crystals. She has a fairly large collection of different ones and recently showed me them all and told me what they do. She carries them around with her, sleeps with them etc. She thinks that they have different energies and can affect her mood, mindset, confidence, etc.

I said I’m glad they make you feel that way but to me they feel like a silly distraction for women / girls (and some men to be fair) to spend their money on shiny shit that doesn’t actually do anything.

I feel bad that I upset her and its made me think that I was unreasonable - I’ve done some reading and it does seem to be that certain rocks / crystals have different qualities - maybe I was too quick to judge?

YABU - crystals are a real thing and affect human energy (and you were rude to your friend!)

YANBU - its a load of old codswallop and your friend should stop buying pretty stones and save her money

I don't think the OP was remotely rude, she was simply being factual. I'm sure I would have done much the same.

Fair point, she can spend her money on whatever she likes

I have a friend who's mum sells crystals and shit. She told me there's a woman struggling financially who keeps purchasing crystals and asking to pay them because she can't afford to buy them out right. She believes her luck will change of she buys certain crystals.

I'm sure for most people it's harmless fun but people are truly believing that a rock will impact their life in some way when it's just nonsense.

I've heard people blame things on crystals rather than taking accountability for their own situation, people skipping medicine in favour of a crystal. It's like sending thoughts and prayers except they cost you money.

Love this! So true. I guess that’s the part that makes us feel good, not the object itself.

Ahahaha! It’s a great episode. Not least because I think it shows up how it’s a human thing to have our own irrational blind spots no matter how hard-nosed we may think we are (noting that Mark was writing “Business secrets of the Pharoahs”, so a total hypocrite).

It is unscientific bollocks but I guess if she has the money to waste then fine.

What do you think? Personally I think A

I mean I think A obviously hence my “I think they’re a load of shit” initial reaction. I guess I was just wondering if there was any basis to it and if my gut reaction was wrong / narrow minded (my thought, not what I said out loud which I know was the wrong thing to say!)

if I were you I’d buy her a nice bit of laboradite & say sorry. Why labradorite? Does it have a special "meaning" or just because it's a lovely stone?

A. “I’m sorry I was rude, I’m glad you have this in your life to make you happy” Definitely this option.

There’s no basis to the claims as far as I know so neither a or b. I would just say sorry for being rude and dismissive.

I wouldn’t endorse something I don’t believe in editing to add especially if that could cause wasting money or obsession and you don’t have to agree with her. Just say “oh yes” “aha” “mmm”. Unless she’s really going on and trying to rope you in which I doubt she will be doing now.

Apology A

The belief that crystals have energy, healing powers etc is a load of bollocks so don't pretend to start believing in that nonsense.

The apology is for the way you phrased your lack of belief. It was rude because you were basically calling your friend stupid (you could have just said that you don't believe but they're very pretty and you're glad that they make her happy).

She’s searching for something and feels she’s found it for now. Would you have been so blunt if she’d found God, got into yoga, meditation, or low carbing etc?

I went a bit alternative and whacky when I had a bunch of miscarriages and then couldn’t conceive for a while. I got into crystals and reflexology and started googling some weird pilgrimage in France, all sorts. It was a run of harmless distractions at a troubling time and it all passed in time. I was just looking for some sort of reason or meaning.

Apologise for being rude and tell her you’re glad she’s happy.

You were extremely rude. Absolutely none of your business what she spends her money on. If she gets comfort from crystals that is her affair, pooh poohing other’s beliefs or forms of peace is really low.

I love my crystals.

Funny that, I have them all over the house and always get compliments from people around that my house has a lovely energy.

Whatever floats your boat OP.

As a qualified crystal healer, I suggest people look into the actual healing properties of crystals, before declaring them bullshit!
People have all sorts of beliefs, I have seen the effect of certain crystals on various conditions, so yes, I do believe in their properties. It's easy to pooh pooh something you know nothing about and aren't interested in enough to research, like a lot of things... Each to their own I say, if she feels they have a beneficial effect on her health, then that's good for her. And that's all that matters.
But I do think you need to apologise to your friend OP. She was sharing a new interest with you and you were a little rude and dismissive of her ❤

I have a pal who believes in crystals and ghosts and psychics and woo. She's delightfully dotty and has reverently presented me with several crystals and pretty rocks that are apparently going to do various things for my soul or my chakras or whatever.

I don't believe in it at all, they're pretty rocks which go in my plant pots. But she's my friend, it makes her happy, and she's not doing anyone any harm by cutting about Telacra beach looking for the perfect rock to tumble to heal my sprained wrist. I let her have her shiny rocks and just nod along, because her being happy is more important to me than me being right.

A family member was really into crystals a good few years ago. She gave me a session with the crystals, which involved me lying down then she placed them on me. Let me say something profound happened when she placed one of the crystals on my chest as something within my chest shifted. I know this probably sounds daft but I remember it clearly. It was as though something had been way out of alignment and was brought back to the centre of my chest with a thump. Next thing I knew I was in buckets of tears as if it had not only realigned but also triggered a release. So I'd say there's more to it than first appears.

They often look pretty, so there are worse things to have around. I have earrings made from various crystals, because they look nice.

Various minerals have nutritional value, although others are less positive - I wouldn't want arsenic crystals, for example. And some do have physical properties such as being able to conduct electricity, so there is probably something in the energy theory in that sense - though it might mean you need to be over a large deposit the size of a field for it to affect you.

I'm not convinced they bring people luck and do on, though, but if they bring people pleasure and they have the money to spare- well, there are worse things they can do.

I probably would be rude about low carbing tbf.

I’m sorry for what you went through and I’m glad it helped you in a way.

Maybe something’s prompted this interest for her. I hadn’t considered that. Thanks for sharing.

I suppose if she’s happy it’s none of my business why. At least it’s crystals and not keto.

I lost 3st low carbing. Don't tend to bang on about it though.

Well I personally believe that crystals do fuck all other than gather dust and look like tat/clutter but if someone else believes they do add a benefit to themselves that’s their business.

Ah but if she believes they help her, then they will help her.

Who are you to pee on her strawberries?

I mean, you did bang on about it a bit just then 😂

YABU. I have many, many crystals myself and I wouldn't be rude to someone who doesn't believe in them. I leave them to it. Everyone is different.

This ^

Thanks for sharing your point of view.

My question is, is it a belief system, eg. I feel happier because I have this crystal in my bra. Like a placebo effect?
Or is it a science - this crystal has X properties for these reasons and that can affect X Y Z , for instance?