about crystals

[Thementalloadisreal]

Am I being unreasonable (or perhaps just mean / unsupportive / a bad friend) or is my friend being unreasonable here?

My friend has recently got into crystals. She has a fairly large collection of different ones and recently showed me them all and told me what they do. She carries them around with her, sleeps with them etc. She thinks that they have different energies and can affect her mood, mindset, confidence, etc.

I said I’m glad they make you feel that way but to me they feel like a silly distraction for women / girls (and some men to be fair) to spend their money on shiny shit that doesn’t actually do anything.

I feel bad that I upset her and its made me think that I was unreasonable - I’ve done some reading and it does seem to be that certain rocks / crystals have different qualities - maybe I was too quick to judge?

YABU - crystals are a real thing and affect human energy (and you were rude to your friend!)

YANBU - its a load of old codswallop and your friend should stop buying pretty stones and save her money

If crystals did anything it would have been studied, harnessed and commercialised by large businesses

But they don't

Hiwever rather than ridicule, I'd look to find it interesting given the placebo effect can have on humans, that is a genuine and real phenomena even if the thing causing it has no actual effect

Well some people do believe in the healing properties of piss!

Tbf that would be my first thought.

Tell me you believe in crystal skulls!!

I think it is harmless, and its up to her how she spends her money. there is going to be a placebo effect to some extent, isn't there. And lets face it, plenty of women spend hundreds of pound on "beauty treatments" that have no affect what so ever on how they look, but make them feel better. Crystals are no worse than that - better in many ways, less damaging to the environment and less misogynistic.

"Qualified crystal healer" ???

But who awarded the qualification?

People can study homeopathy, chakras, auras and all sorts of unscientific nonsense but if the courses are taught - and the qualifications awarded - by practitioners of said unscientific nonsense then those of us with a more evidence based approach to life are unlikely to be impressed.

Certain crystals have certain properties, although in actual fact, there is no science behind it. But shungite, for instance, can block electrical interference; amethyst is good for headaches and so on. If your friend believes and it works for her, then that's all that should matter. I have a silver spiral cage on silver chain, in which I put a crystal when I need something extra - healing, strength, confidence etc... It absolutely works for me and the crystals work on those I've treated in the past and it does no harm at all. (My dear recently departed dad wasn't into all that stuff, he thought it was bunkum, but he bought me crystals wherever he went, nonetheless... And I've found a few in his house as I've been sorting things out... 🤗)

I studied crystal healing for over a year and got a Diploma in it. I'm not out to impress, simply stating a fact?! Do you think the same way about other alternative healing methods? As I say, each to their own, if it works for people, it's not for anyone to judge. And no, before anyone asks, I do not make any sort of living from it. It was something I was interested in for a long time and have provided my services FOC.

Crystals don't bring a heck of a lot of healing to the miners who extract them, or to the environments they came from. You'd kind of expect they would, if they had healing properties.

https://gembreakfast.com/blogs/news/the-most-comprehensive-guide-to-buying-ethical-gemstones

https://www.cosmopolitan.com/lifestyle/a34441511/ethical-crystals/

There are enthusiasts who find, extract, process and sell crystals all by themselves - my Instagram feed's full of them - so you can be reasonably confident they're ethical/responsible products. I'm only saying 'reasonably' as they might be buying the rocks and lying about it! They are MUCH more expensive than crystals of unverified provenance.

I think the comment was querying the validity of the awarding organisation

Option 3: let people enjoy things and mind your business

I would argue mentioning it once is not banging on about it. 😜

Definitely not like the sort of person who evangelises about something and pushes it on everyone they come into contact with, which is how I'd define "banging on about."

🎤

I recognise that you're just stating a fact but I don't put any value on any qualifications for non scientific healing methods.

I think they're harmless if they're just used to give people a bit of a mental boost and they make people feel happier.

They're harmful if people are actually ill and use quack medicine instead of proper, scientific, evidence based modern medicine.

I totally agree with you there. Using them alongside traditional treatment is absolutely fine, but I don't hold with any natural healing, alternative therapy etc being used instead of

You ATBU. Who are you to say your friend should stop buying pretty stones and save her money? The arrogance, wow. Even if they do fuck all they are meaningful to her and you trampled all over that and probably made her feel unnecessarily embarrassed and stupid. Who knows why she feels the need to seek comfort and hope in crystals, do you? Is she really your friend? An object’s worth is completely subjective. What should she spend her money on? More importantly, what are you into? Because that’s the only thing you’d deem worthwhile obviously.

Are you an atheist? I’m going to hazard a guess that you are. If so, would you tell members of different religions (let’s forget Christianity bc they’re an easy target) that their beliefs are ridiculous and they should stop wasting their time and energy on them bc you think they’re childish and irrelevant?

If you are in fact religious, would you be happy with someone who disagrees with your views patronising you and basically telling you you’re an idiot bc they don’t believe in them themselves?

Friends are meant to support each other. I’d hope you wouldn’t do this to a family member but you could at least argue that there is a different dynamic to the relationship going on there and they’d take the ‘advice’ and criticism differently. Yeah you were extremely rude to your friend. You know you were. It’s none of your business what she spends her money on as it is none of her business what you do yours.

In terms of your apology you should probably do both, but don’t patronise her by suddenly pretending crystals are all powerful, magical forces. Be honest with what you’ve found out, that they can prove to be effective to some people etc.

It’s good that you can acknowledge you were wrong for reacting the way you did. Being so certain in your own views and dismissing others’ off hand doesn’t make you seem more intelligent, just cruel.

Hopefully your friend will accept your apology.

It’s a load of old nonsense but harmless enough

I read an interesting article the other day about where these things are mined to feed western woo appetites. It was about as depressing as you'd imagine.

I will not bang this drum further 💎 Interesting article about rose quartz and tourmaline from Madagascar.
https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2019/sep/17/healing-crystals-wellness-mining-madagascar

I had a friend who started out like this. She now does kambo ceremonies and posts photos of Instagram of herself and her friends with period blood smeared on their faces. I tapped out of that friendship when she kept banging on about why I shouldn't take contraception.

Apart from looking pretty the whole crystal thing is bollocks but what your friend chooses to spend money on isn't for you to judge.

If they are obsessed and doing your head in by never shutting up about them, like an Aloe Vera Forever Living MLM seller, you might need to avoid them for a while.

Crystals are a load of old cobblers with zero power to do anything. All evidence points to this.

However, it’s entirely up to your mate what old guff she spends her money on. If she was my friend and she was tryjng to tell me about the powers of her crystals I would certainly be saying "Sorry, but I just don't believe in this stuff, so let's agree to disagree and talk about something else."

I wouldn't start telling her it was a scam and a waste of her money, though (even though it is both of those) because that’s none of my business. She can waste her money if she wants. So I’d make it clear that I didn’t want to hear any more about it, but I’d do that politely. Only if she insisted on arguing/evangelising/refusing to agree to differ would I end up saying what you apparently said.

Agh that's awful. I would hate to think I was funding this in any way, however minor.

Fascination with crystals & stones has been around for 100000s of years

Look at ancient artefacts, weapons, jewellery, architecture etc

It will endure into the future

It is believed that if people believe in something, that it can help them

Some people believe that pets are good

Some people believe that growing plants are good

Some people believe that art, being creative, music helps

Some people believe in religion

Some people believe in crystals

Or a whole combination of the above, plus other things

Crystals can look lovely. We wear them as jewellery for this reason and perhaps historically for what was believed as their healing powers.

People carry crystals to help create a mindset about something they need manage in their mind. If doing that ritual focuses them on an exam or an interview then just like meditation etc, it's worked. Regardless of their suggested healing properties.

If you were not supposed to comment, why was she showing you them?