about crystals

[Thementalloadisreal]

Am I being unreasonable (or perhaps just mean / unsupportive / a bad friend) or is my friend being unreasonable here?

My friend has recently got into crystals. She has a fairly large collection of different ones and recently showed me them all and told me what they do. She carries them around with her, sleeps with them etc. She thinks that they have different energies and can affect her mood, mindset, confidence, etc.

I said I’m glad they make you feel that way but to me they feel like a silly distraction for women / girls (and some men to be fair) to spend their money on shiny shit that doesn’t actually do anything.

I feel bad that I upset her and its made me think that I was unreasonable - I’ve done some reading and it does seem to be that certain rocks / crystals have different qualities - maybe I was too quick to judge?

YABU - crystals are a real thing and affect human energy (and you were rude to your friend!)

YANBU - its a load of old codswallop and your friend should stop buying pretty stones and save her money

Yes , quartz is piezoelectric. The battery in a quartz watch sends electrical signals to the quartz circuit so the battery causes it to vibrate. So without the battery, guess what . Nothing . So it’s not anything mysterious , just pure science. You can’t then suppose that crystals can heal a body , because there is absolutely no evidence of that whatsoever . Anecdotal stories are only based on the placebo effect and bias . .

I use the word ‘friend’ to mean someone I know well, like and can speak freely to. If I speak to a friend and there’s a difference of opinion, it’s done frankly and openly. I would expect my friends to give me their views. I work on the basis that they would expect the same from me.

There seem to be a lot of MN posters’ ‘friends’ who take offence at the most trivial things.

I'd apologise for being rude and leave it at that. You don't have to believe her, or agree with her, but if you want to remain friends you shouldn't be rude.

I have very different beliefs and lifestyles to some of my friends, but I'd never be rude to them, the same way they'd not be rude about my lifestyle choices

Crystals stuff is bollocks but so imo are Christianity, Islam, Judaism, Hinduism etc and I still wouldn't say that to a friend with religious beliefs. Just nod and smile and say that's nice dear, unless she'd using her faith as a cover to say something bigoted or offensive. Nothing offensive about spending her money on some shiny junk if that pleases her - what do you spend your spare cash on that's so much worthier?

Crystals are nonsense woo but at least you get pretty things in your house for it, which isn't the case for other forms of nonsense that people buy into like diet culture or organised religion. And yes OP you were pretty insulting. It's so easy to say "oh that's not for me" or "not my thing" without essentially calling your friend stupid.

I have a friend who has a lot of crystals in her house, I've never asked whether she believes that they have powers or just thinks they look nice. Also have a friend who's very into astrology and I'm never quite sure whether she's doing it ironically or not.

Sorry though this is where things get messy.

"Qualified crystal healer" - from where does your qualification derive authority? How many years did it take you to complete it? What did the training look like? Was there a practical element? How were you assessed?

Also "not interested enough to research" - since you are already qualified, why not save us some time and point us to the peer-reviewed double bind clinical trials demonstrating the beneficial effect of even one crystal on even one human ailment. Just one paper showing a statistically significant effect.

I don't mind people believing what they want to believe; but posing as some sort of professional on the basis of a 4 hour online course, and citing "research" when if there was any demonstrable benefit of crystals on health it would be part of the offering of at least one public health service in the world, is just showboating to enable you to get money off the credulous.

I do not believe I professed to being a "professional" in my posts? And if you bothered to read my posts, I did actually state that I provided my services free of charge. I really don't see the point of you commenting on a subject you clearly have no interest in, other than to try and look clever? I don't engage with that kind of response or questioning. Have a good day

I don't buy crystals - but when I touch them I can feel the different energies they give off - especially with my left hand. But I also feel the different energy when I walk into churches and can see why people get value from attending and prayer. I can't remember reading anything scientific about the value of churches and prayer either but billions of people around the world feel they are helpful to them.
I don't think there is any issue with you not believing in crystals - I think like others have said you were rude to your friend who was excited about a new interest.

I have apologised. But I genuinely wanted to understand whether I had rudely dismissed something that’s rubbish or something legitimate, that’s why I asked on here.
I’m open minded generally and quite happy to change my opinion from my first reaction if there’s a basis for it.

Update - I met with my friend for a walk this morning and said I’ve been feeling bad about my reaction to the crystals, I apologised for being so blunt and judgemental. We have been friends for years and have a very non-judgemental friendship so I felt really bad for my reaction.
She accepted my apology and said although my response was rude she expected me to be skeptical anyway as most people are and I said I’m happy to learn more about why you love it even if it’s not for me.
We agreed that what works for someone is fine so long as they’re not hurting anyone or themselves (she would never use crystals instead of medicine for instance)
I did mention the ethical side again after reading the articles shared on here but she didn’t really seem interested so I guess it’s not a concern of hers, but it’s certainly something I would be mindful of if I ever considered purchasing one.

I always like a nice resolution based on decent communication, good stuff all round!

As a witchcraft practitioner for the last 30 years I personally think 99% of it is sheer nonsense.

I understand the physics behind the piezoelectric effect and use quartz myself but as for crystals having healing effects I can safely say I have never experienced then having the slightest effect other than as a placebo for the susceptible.

They are pretty and shiny but I just have to think of the human misery that their production and sale causes and the thought that they can have any positive effects at all just doesn't fly.

That's lovely to hear, thanks for the update OP ❤

herewegoroundthebastardbush

Interesting that you criticise someone for not explaining but in such a rude and nasty way that nobody would want to explain after that.

You are just so certain you are right about everything and that nobody can teach you anything.

Obviously science is not your thing, because it requires an open mind.

It sounds as though you both handled things perfectly.
Good friends will always apologise when they realise that they have upset a friend but equally, good friends will also accept a genuine apology and move on.

Yes this!

https://xkcd.com/808/

You don't need to believe in it, but there is no need to be rude.

I'm a research librarian. Facts and finding and identifying high quality research is pretty much exactly my thing.

I thought your previous post was excellent. Facts matter. The presentation of facts matters. The validation of facts and expertise matters.

👍

Have you never had a quartz watch?

Ever had an ultrasound?

Sonar?

LCD TV or computer screen?

Continuous glucose monitor?

Even a graphite pencil. You must have used a pencil.

Those are mechnical or electromagnetic effects which have indeed been harnessed, my original comment was in relation to disputed and unproven health benefits, as opposed to the use of crystalline structures and effects to make machines

Quite so, @TinySaltLick

I've already given a brief idea upthread of how crystals are used in scientific research. Additionally, there's medical and commercial importance to the form of tiny crystals in drug formulations - polymorphism is important, can lead to different uptake rates etc, and is one of the reasons a cheap generic may not be quite as effective as a branded medicine.

I think they do work for people who believe in a roundabout way, although not through any cosmic energy, vibrations etc. I think for some there's a placebo effect and element of mindfulness.

So for example, someone anxious might carry rose quartz and feel better because it reminds them to do things thst make them feel better.

What do any of these things have to do with fantastical claims of the healing powers of crystals?

Does writing with a pencil cure carpal tunnel syndrome or joint arthritis?

I think you were both. You were not unreasonable to have your opinion (I share that opinion) but you were unreasonable for not being able to keep it to yourself and respect your friends differing opinions. That was rude and I'd apologise for coming across as dismissive of her interests just because you don't share them.