Nearly 11 year old obsessed with skin care

[Oakstreet]

Getting on my nerves. As far as kids goes she isn't always on social media but all I hear is my friends have it! Fed up. Her dad ended up buying her some, so expensive too, she doesn't need it. I've tried telling her that it is a money spinning scam, and kids her age don't need it. She just doesn't listen, she really is like a stubborn teenager, but still a very a young child who shouldn't even be interested in this stuff. Anyone advice on how to talk to her?

My daughter is 12 and into skincare. I don’t see it as an issue.

she cleans her face with an appropriate cleanser.

moisturises with an appropriate moisturiser with spf

and wears light, natural makeup when we go out. (and likes experimenting with ‘crazy, makeup at home 😭)

if she chooses to save her pocket money and buy the expensive brands, that’s up to her. She was the one who talked to me and got me to check the ingredients for things aimed at adult skin and anti aging as she’s not interested in causing damage.

I’d much rather this than the stuff some of her school peers are up to which includes (but probably isn’t a comprehensive list) drinking, vaping, social media-ing

It is a huge thing for tweens ATM. Most of the brands they are into are really not suited to children's skin plus the price of some of it. If Dad has bought one of those brands can you swap it out (if it's a tub empty it and refill with some unscented moisturiser like Nivea)? Or once it's empty try and refill it whilst she is at school with a basic moisturiser.

Going forward, encouraging a basic age appropriate skin routine is a good idea, especially with teen years approaching. Wearing a daily suncream is great. A basic moisturiser. A gentle cleanser.

It is tricky as all the social media is full of it. Whilst you can minimise your own child's exposure, you cannot control their peers. It only takes a couple of peers to get into something and it's all over the playground at school and spirals.

Be strict.
Tell her she doesn't need it.
It's expensive and probably not suitable for her young skin.
Take Tiktok off her phone if she really cannot be trusted not to become obsessed by the latest trends (which many children her age do).

Nivea? Unscented? Pah!

It is setting them up for exploitation and oppression that will last a life time . "Skin care" is a total con and another way of rich corporate men telling women they are not good enough

Are you with the dad still? If it is at his house, nothing you can do about it, except ban her from bringing it to your house. But if you are still with her dad and it has been bought out of family money and is at your house, then throw it out.

Going by this thread, skincare is surrounded by a loth of myth and mystery and most people don't even seem to have a basic understanding of how products work or what is appropriate.

Cleansers clean the skin- soap is a cleanser. Any age can cleanse.

What's with the irrational fear of 'harsh brands' ?
Most brands have a range of products and she probably just wants to 'in'. Help her choose gentle products from the brand she likes- most will have a basic face wash and moisturiser without actives that will be fine.

I'd have a look at this article.

https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.bbc.com/news/health-67993618.amp

It's bloody annoying and harmful at worst. Otherwise sensible people spending 40 quid plus on 12 year olds for products that are a bit marginal for us older women. Also, sol de janiero smells atrocious; can't believe it's actually intended for someone older than 13

My DD’s are into skincare and hair products that I think are stupidly expensive and they use their saved up pocket money etc to buy them. Their friends are the same.

It’s not really about the products themselves though I don’t think, as they don’t seem to use them that much, it’s more about chatting with friends who have similar things, and sharing “unboxing” videos with each other and setting up nice displays in their bedrooms on shelves.

A relatively harmless tween phase I think. The bonus is that they are very generous about sharing with me 😁 I have taken a shine to a sol de janerio leave in conditioner recently, and also some kind of Tik Tok cult blusher.. something to do with Selena Gomez. Possibly.

I also enjoy the facials and “makeovers”.

They are also into SPF, which has to be a good thing really - I certainly wasn’t until fairly recently and I regret that now.

I’m 68 and have never used any gunk on my face. I’m partly lucky, because of genetics, but I’m virtually wrinkle free.👍

Soap, water and daily foundation, from about age 18, has been all I’ve ever done.

Its ridiculous for a child to be doing it - and according to a recent TV segment, it does more harm than good.🙄

Influencers influence teenagers. That's how they make money.

This.

The problem isn't the skincare. It's the internet.

people think the word "gentle" has some meaning here, it doesn't. It is just an advertising buzzword

Ive never used any "skin care" products or make up, and have had a serious problem all my life of being thought of as younger than I am. I expect the two are linked

I am chuckling at the people that have suggested cheapy boots face cream - they only want the ones the 'influencers' told them to buy. Which are a) unsuitable for young skin and b) extraordinarily expensive.

Luckily my 12 year old is so far immune to this, sadly she's found a different YouTube inspired ridiculous rabbit hole to fall down.

By the way, all the judgement about "it's the internet" - you could entirely ban the Internet and phones altogether in your home and you still can't avoid this. It's rampant at school. If you don't use those creams you're "ugly".

Rubbish, plain and simple bullying, and needs to be dealt with as bullying, not conformed to

What those saying they point DD in the direction of Boots are really saying - I'll support you in the desire to have 'skincare' but I'm not paying silly money for stuff that might not even be suitable for you.

Exactly the same as you would with kids wanting designer party shoes, yes I'll get you new shoes I'm not forking out for 3 inch high Jimmy Choos.

But we are talking to ourselves Op ain't coming back.

The chat I hear is the kids want status brands because they make them look they have their finger on the pulse of what is cool and if it’s expensive they look “rich”. I’ve tried to tell my DD if she spends all her money on this stuff then she’ll be less rich than she would be otherwise but it’s what she can show to others that matters to her. Hopefully she’ll wise up with she grows up a bit.

Same here. I won’t buy it. If she chooses to spend her money on it so be it but she won’t get more money if she spends up. TBF she is actually pretty good at saving and only spends a proportion on one or two things every so often. Otherwise she asks at birthday and Xmas.

it’s no different to me spending on my grunge wear at a similar age. Green lipstick anyone 😭

Is it? How do you justify every trend / fashion before the internet then?

It is a marketing term but there is some truth in that that a plain unscented moisturiser is more gentle on skin than one containing retinol. A hydrating cleanser is gentle on skin, an acid toner is not.
If adults are going to allow kids to buy skincare that’s fine but they need to understand the ingredients. Some teens can benefit from formulas specifically designed to help with spots, greasy skin etc.
And all the “I’ve only ever used soap and it never did me any harm” comments are just ignorant snobbery.

My mum probably thought my Impulse spray was atrocious too 😂