For thinking my BF is a bit of a wet blanket

[Porkpie44]

Maybe I’m being harsh but god does he like his sleep. 9.30pm on a Saturday night and I’m on my own again as he’s taken himself off to bed because today he was up at 7.30am and drove for 2.30hrs to see a friend, sat around drinking coffee and catching up for hours, 2.30hrs home and he’s knackered! I’ve seriously never known anyone be tired and sleep as much as him. Even on his days off when he’s sat around doing nothing he’ll be yawning his head off and falling asleep at 8pm.

AIBU for feeling like he needs to man up a bit?

He’s only 49 and you have young children, it’s time for him to decide if he wants to set a good example to his children and if he wants to be around long enough to see them grow up.

DH (mid 50’s) is an earlier bedder than me sometimes after a hard day at work (13hrs including travel), taking DC to an activity at night, helping with the post dinner clear up and often exercising too (we have basic equipment in the garage).
At the weekends and holidays we sit up together, watch a film, go out to eat, cinema etc.

If your DH won’t change sadly it’s down to you to decide if this is enough for you or if you want/need more.

While your husband certainly seems to have his share of health issues, your words are cold and rude- man up? Really? Is that the attitude you have with me at home too? That is quite unpleasant.
It is no doubt hard work living with someone who doesn't want to change but even so, that language is negative. From your posts, it appears that you are annoyed, dissatisfied with him. Perhaps try relationship counselling, so you can come to a decision about the future of your relationship.

Repetitive or mentally taxing jobs are exhausting imo

I'm plumping for diabetic. Simple urine test will tell. It's critical that he knows if he is. Long term health effects are not nice.

Each to their own, and I know there always dozens of Mumsnetters on threads like this who seem to think it’s deeply irresponsible and feckless if everyone in the whole household isn’t asleep before the evening hits double figures, but there is no way on earth I could date anyone who routinely went to bed at 9.30pm. It’s something I find instantly offputting. Proper ‘ick’ factor for me. The reason is immaterial to me; I just find it intensely irritating.