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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

It's a bridesmaid dress one!

91 replies

dressdrams · 03/02/2024 19:20

I am a bridesmaid at my sisters wedding next month, and I am also bridesmaid for my best friend the month after.

For my sisters wedding, she chose my bridesmaid dress and paid 50% and I paid the other 50%. It's a gorgeous dress and was over £150 but is very formal and won't be something I can wear again in most situations. It was also her choice, but as I said it's gorgeous and I love it.

My best friends wedding is the month after, it's the same colour scheme and my bridesmaid dress from my sisters wedding would work perfectly, it seemed an absolute no brainer to wear it again, really get my monies worth out of it and it's beautiful and I feel really confident in it. This has been my plan for months and was agreed with my best friend.

In all honesty it didn't occur to me to check with my sister because it's after her wedding, so it's not like there is a risk of the dress getting ruined or something. She has made it clear the dress is mine to keep etc. I just didn't see an issue, but when I spoke to her about booking it in for alterations (it's too long, I'm paying for the alterations) I mentioned in passing I'm wearing it as bridesmaid twice so it's worth the expense.

My sister is furious about it, she is saying it's beyond cheeky and she chose that dress, it's my bridesmaid dress as her sister and it's meaningful to her and it's disrespectful to wear it again just weeks later, takes away from her big day etc. I pointed out to her that literally no one from her wedding will even be at my best friends wedding to know apart from me but she was really hurt and made it well known she isn't happy for me to wear it.

AIBU? I don't know if I'm missing something and this really isn't ok but in my head I just can't comprehend an issue

OP posts:
ThirtyThrillionThreeTrees · 03/02/2024 19:24

You are missing nothing.

She is being ridiculous.

Thedogscollar · 03/02/2024 19:25

There is no issue imo. Your sister is being absolutely ridiculous. How on earth will you wearing the dress at another wedding affect her day.
Ignore your sister and wear the dress.

Cosycover · 03/02/2024 19:25

Shes being ridiculous.

RatatouillePie · 03/02/2024 19:34

Your sister is being bridezilla!

She is also being tight - she should be paying for the dress completely! Not 50/50!!

SharedAccountWithMySister · 03/02/2024 19:35

Pre-wedding craziness. Just ignore

Facetube · 03/02/2024 19:36

She's being silly. Different maybe her not wanting you yo wear it before her wedding (in case it got ruined or something).

AntiHop · 03/02/2024 19:40

She's being ridiculous

I'llBuyThatForADollar · 03/02/2024 19:42

I'd be delighted my bridesmaid could get another use out of it! Wear and enjoy guilt free!

Lizzieregina · 03/02/2024 19:44

I agree, sister is ridiculous. She should be delighted you’re getting your money’s worth.

Squiggles23 · 03/02/2024 19:46

I would get it more if she paid for it (which she should have) but she’s paid 50:50 and so it’s really not her say.

Are the weddings literally a few weeks apart? Might be risky if you spill anything on it etc?m just to warn you!

Alwaysalwayscold · 03/02/2024 19:47

Standard bridezilla.

SonOfAGoodStrongWoman · 03/02/2024 19:48

If you wants you to only wear it for her wedding, she needs to pay for all of it.

I can’t imagine not being happy for my sister to wear her dress again, even though I paid for all of it. I’d be thrilled.

Lindy2 · 03/02/2024 19:51

It's your dress to do as you wish with after the wedding.

To tell you when you can and when you can't wear the dress afterwards is ridiculous. Your sister didn't even pay for the full price of the dress in for you!

I'd avoid talking about your friend's wedding with her and just go ahead as planned. It seems a very sensible use of the dress.

Mumofoneandone · 03/02/2024 19:51

It's actually a real compliment....... hopefully she'll calm down in time!

Olika · 03/02/2024 19:54

So what are you meant to do with this dress after her wedding? Just hang it in the closet? Never use it again? She is being ridiculous!

Pineapplewaves · 03/02/2024 19:59

I wore my bridesmaids dress from my sister's wedding to a black tie dinner and dance, my sister thought it was great I got to wear it a second time.

PosyPrettyToes · 03/02/2024 20:01

Your sister is being a total loon, it’s your dress. Wear it!

Blondeshavemorefun · 03/02/2024 20:04

She's a def bridzilla

Don't think I've ever said that 😂

So after her wedding it's meant to be hung in your wardrobe to be stroked lovingly but never worn again 🙄

FieldInWhichFucksAreGrownIsBarren · 03/02/2024 20:05

I'd either ignore the nonsense, not mention it again & wear it for best friends wedding or I'd say to sister, fine-pay for 100% of the dress, including alterations, and it's exclusive to her wedding. Simple.

PermanentTemporary · 03/02/2024 20:06

Knee jerk reaction. I'd just not mention it to her again. If she asks about it I would just pause and ask her what she wants you to say. You're doing nothing wrong- quite the opposite.

My mum and her sisters all wore the same wedding dress and two bridesmaid dresses to each other's weddings, with a few alterations in between. It's possible to see negatives in that but people were thriftier back then. Why spend more of you don't have to?

readingmytealeaves · 03/02/2024 20:08

If she was paying the full cost and wanted it back to sell afterwards then I could perhaps understand she might not want it to be used again in case it got damaged but if she is not paying full cost and has agreed it is yours to keep then I would say what you do with it is your business, be that wearing it to your friend's wedding, giving it to your daughter for her dressing up box or cutting it up for dishcloths.

LadyEloise1 · 03/02/2024 20:17

RatatouillePie · 03/02/2024 19:34

Your sister is being bridezilla!

She is also being tight - she should be paying for the dress completely! Not 50/50!!

This. Absolutely 💯

Whatyoutalkingabouteh · 03/02/2024 20:21

What a bridezilla

VanilleA · 03/02/2024 20:23

If she wants to dictate when you can wear it again then she needs to pay for the whole thing

firsttimeoptimist · 03/02/2024 20:23

My friend ended up wearing the bridesmaids dress I wore for her wedding at mine a year and a half later!
She had bought a different dress but after a baby couldn't get into it! We both thought it was a great solution - it was a very pretty dress l!
Your sister needs to calm down.