To stop swimming lessons as a consequence for poor behaviour at the pool?

[Swimmingtrauma]

I’m not sure if I’m over or under reacting.

DS is 3. After swimming he went into a cubicle and locked it from the inside so I couldn’t get in. He was then shaking the door so it made an awful racket (to the point the parents on either side had to shout to their children to be heard) laughing and screaming.

I have told him I’m not sure we can go back as apart from being poor behaviour it was potentially dangerous but I don’t know if that’s OTT.

OP I’ve been the red-faced parent locked outside the cubicle whilst plenty of dicking about ensued.
I wouldn’t stop lessons as I think swimming is a really valuable, life saving skill but I will share my ‘this is never happening again’ hack with you..
As soon as we get in to the changing rooms I throw my towel over the top of the door to create a buffer so they’re unable to lock it

Does everyone saying "swimming is a vital life skill" really believe they can learn to swim at 3?? Honest question. I would be interested to see the stats on swimming confidence between those who started at 3 vs those who waited until 4 or 5.

I’m really sorry but I’m not sure I understand how that works.

Anyway, I’ve emailed the swimming school to apologise and explain it’s probably not a good idea at the moment. It does feel sad as he’s been going since he was 4 months but I just can’t deal with him.

Have you seen swimming classes for 3 year olds @Bramshott. they learn to float on their back when they fall/jump into the pool, they learn to hold on side of pool, they learn to climb out of pool themselves, they learn to swim underwater.

Yes most can’t perfectly front crawl for 10meters but they learn quite crucial stuff. Not sure why you are so flippant when every year british toddlers drown in pools.

He's far too little for an ongoing punishment like this, especially for behaviour which is pretty normal (though irritating) mischievous preschooler stuff. A telling off at the time should suffice, and closer supervision if you don't want it to happen again.

Swimming lessons aren't a treat in my mind, kids might enjoy them which is great but that's not the purpose of them, they are teach a child how to be safe in the water.

I agree with consequences for bad behaviour, and purposefully locking himself in and then ignoring you when you told him to stop banging the door would have resulted in me saying no sweet treat after swimming or no to something else we had planned for that day, but I wouldn't use swimming lessons as the punishment.

I think as long as they do get decent swimming lessons in the early primary years then I think it's not drastic to do very early lessons, but it certainly is a good idea to get them understanding water safety and enjoying swimming.

I'm just a bit taken aback at your overreaction op. Fine if you don't fancy swimming but this really isn't the biggest trauma ever and I think it is concerning you feel like you can't cope with your 3 year old. I do think you need to seek some real life support or advice

Right OK.

Are you angry with him or yourself. He’s only 3 but was unsupervised. If you had been watching him he wouldn’t have been able to lock himself in.
I don’t think it’s fair to punish him for something he’s too young to properly understand

No do t stop the lessons, he needs to learn to swim and it's important.

You could pretend not to care next time, make sure you are not in a rush though then if he locks himself in again just wait until he gets bored and opens again. He is probably trying to provoke a reaction, that's the fun in most mischief. You could also try positive reinforcement, maybe a sticker chart or some other form of praise token so you can remind him what you expect of him and if he does it then he gets a sticker and lots of praise. Some may call it bribing but it's up to you if you want to use rewards as part of your parenting they can be a helpful tool in some situations. Good luck!

Every single child in my family for two generations could at least doggy paddle enough to stay afloat at the age of 3.

Nobody expects a child that age to start doing lengths - just to swim well enough to stay afloat until an adult can get him/her out if there is an accident.

He went into a changing cubicle, not a locker!

@penjil I know that! But most toilet/cubicle locks can be opened from the outside by turning a coin in the slot on the lock.

Oh yes! Sorry!

I see what you mean!

Good point, they do!

I think you could give the lessons a rest my daughter didn’t learn till she was 8 nearly 9 and now at 11 is the top of her class for swimming. It took her a year and because she was physically and mentally ready she picked it up really quickly. Kids need adult supervision round water when they’re primary aged so it doesn’t matter if they can swim!!
All the lessons and extra curricula activities is very overwhelming when they’re little and often they achieve much.

@Unwisebutnotillegal this is such a stupid comment. Of course adult supervision is needed near water but unfortunately accidents happen (and have happened) so learning to swim as early as possible is beneficial.

For what it’s worth, I don’t think this is acceptable behaviour from a 3 year old either, so your expectations aren’t crazy!

Trust your instincts. My DD was a runner - straight out onto the road an no matter how many times I explained to her she would carry on. I kept her in a buggy still about 3.5 and only let her use the scooter in the park. I just was not comfortable letting her walk or scoot on the pavement until she understood the dangers and would follow instructions. If taking him swimming is a struggle just sack it off for 6 months and try when he’s older, generally they don’t have the co- ordination to swim until they are 4 anyway.

Sounds like a good choice to stop. He might be finding the environment a bit over stimulating (loud, hot etc) and they don't really learn to properly swim at 3 anyway. Try him again in a year or two.

It’s not a stupid comment, evidence actually shows that non swimmers are less likely to drown as they stay away from water! If we’re near a body of water then I will hold my children’s hands and they know they’re not allowed to run. I have the same rule round dogs. And if they are too young to understand then they are kept on reins.

evidence actually shows that non swimmers are less likely to drown rightttttt

@Unwisebutnotillegal can you provide the link to that evidence?

@Unwisebutnotillegal theres absolutely no way there is research to suggest non swimmers are less likely to drown. My uncle had a heart attack while in their villa pool while on holiday last year, luckily his wife was there to help but imagine if she wasn’t and he was in the pool with a young child.

You can’t always anticipate situations, my child would run for water and try to get in way before she could swim so learning was no.1 priority for us. Of course I held her hand and told her not to but that didn’t stop her trying.

“evidence actually shows that non swimmers are less likely to drown as they stay away from water!”

nonsense