DH and his flag pole dream….

[Lilysienna1]

DH mentioned a few years ago, that he has ‘always wanted’ to have a flag on display in the front garden. A proper flag on a pole, that we would raise up every morning, and ‘fly at half mast’ when the occasion calls for it.

I have never ever even thought of having a flag. We are British and I know it’s quite common in America, but not so much here. DH isn’t a football fan, so it’s nothing to do with the flag flying we see during the World Cup and the like.

last year, for Christmas he said the only present he would wish for, was to have that flag. He was most disappointed with the watch and aftershave he received instead.

He has now mentioned it to 13 year old DD who thinks it’s ‘kinda cool’ and she could imagine using it behind her for tik tok dances.

So now, I’m being made out to be highly unreasonable and a bore, for saying I do not want to raise a bloody flag every morning and see it outside the front of my house every day. I did try to compromise by saying ‘maybe’ a small one in the back garden, but DH says it’s to go out the front only, and why should we be ashamed of patriotism.

We don’t live in a grand estate home, just a detached house in a redrow cul-de-sac. The neighbours wouldn’t be affected as there are large trees between our only neigbours drive and ours, and we are on the corner.

However, everyone that comes in and out our road will see it as it’s the first house.

what would you do?? Give in and say yes to DH and his flag pole or put your foot down? Am I really being that unreasonable and boring? Does anyone else fly a flag? 🤦🏻‍♀️

Just remind him every morning what country he's in, then there's no need for a flagpole

This made me laugh far more than I should. My poor DH 🤣🤣

Stop with the putting people in boxes

Couple of houses near us have them - one just has the St George’s cross flag up permanently

The other changes it frequently and sometimes just has a pirates flag up; I like it - shows they’ve a sense of humour and it was nice when they showed support for Ukraine

If it makes him happy then why not? Life is too short to not do things you enjoy because of what others might think

Oh god I used to live next to someone who had a flag pole and the noise! Whenever it was windy (or slightly breezy!) the knocking sound drove us mad!

Where I live a Union flag in the garden means Rangers FC supporter and a St Andrews flag means Scottish nationalist.

It does not mean scout leader. They are nice people who give up their time as volunteers to give children and young people great experiences.

Now have you booked the training in your quest for enlightenment or are you beginning to see we are all DIFFERENT and that’s a GOOD thing by yourself?

I am not enjoying the fascist vibes personally ✌🏻🇬🇧

I apologise for the 27pages that I don’t have the energy to read.

We live near a lot of MoD installations and our neighbourhood is over 80% retired veterans. Most have a Union Jack flying on a flag pole either in front or in the garden.

It is something that would make your husband happy, and it is not beyond the pale unacceptable to fly a Union Jack so I would let him put one up.

I know. If only the story was lovely life long.
My mum and I (she was one of 4) shouldered the entire burden of my grans care and death alone. It was a horrible time and we are both battered.
But when I go and sit in that church (my vicar friend has welcomed me in with open arms - oh yes forgot to say she was a student in my gran’s class) I feel their presence and think if I can live my life as they would have wanted, it might work out for me in the end.

Back to the flag - there are plans to get it out on St David’s Day. The Parish secretario is welsh and since discovering there is a huge flag in the church cupboard she will not take no for an answer 🤣

Do you feel qualified enough to determine what every person of colour would or would not find offensive?

Just shows how introverted we are then .

This is so weird! Get one, and fly his underpants from it. 🩲

We did fly the US flag at half staff for the late Queen and for Jimmy Buffett

That was lovely of you, @CarolinaInTheMorning - and that's coming from a republican

Though English, I spend half the year in the US, and if in the UK at the time I fly a Stars and Stripes on the anniversary of 9/11 in solidarity

And you should have been in Boston (or maybe you are?) just after 9/11; my neighbours at the time had pillars on the porch of their massive house and flew a colossal flag between them ... floodlit!!

Good on her!!! 👏🏻👏🏻 sometimes we need to express ourselves, our history and values, and she can put up her flag 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁷󠁬󠁳󠁿🏴󠁧󠁢󠁷󠁬󠁳󠁿❤️ and feel pride and share it with her church. I hope you are recovering from the end of life exhaustion and sadness.

Or how silenced we have become.

There is a house on the main road a couple of minutes from me who have a large flag pole in their garden - I think it's technically the back garden but you can see it from the road.

They alternate between an IOM flag and a Union Jack.

That's the only flag I've ever seen

No, of course not. That would be ridiculous.

Maybe you're mistaking me for @Newchapterbeckons who is happy to share what her Indian and Pakistani friends would think about various posts on this thread.

😂 If this is the biggest problem in your marriage I think you’re grand OP.

He will soon get bored of raising it every morning I reckon.

So, what's offensive about flying our national flag?

Could you get a campervan and let him have a flag when you camping. To me that is the only reasonable time to have a flag pole. They are useful for finding your van at a festival.

No idea where she plans to put it as the flagpole was damaged in the recent storm. She will probably drape it over the altar right at the last minute before the Rev sees it and whips it off 🤣

I think it's very sad that flying out national flag would be looked up on negatively. What a sad state of affairs when people can't express pride in their country.

I’ve lived in the US for over a decade and yes, flag-flying is extremely common here. But, people don’t just fly the Stars and Stripes, they fly flags related to their heritage (in my neighborhood, I’ve seen the Canadian, Croatian, Ethiopian, Irish, and Jamaican flags- someone’s got the Union Jack up so there must be a fellow Brit around)! It’s also common to fly the state flag or the flag for your home state.

Our house has a flag holder attached to the porch, it was there when we bought it and we do fly the American flag on July 4th-everyone on the street does!

I know that it’s not a cultural norm in England, but perhaps it’s time that we stopped automatically associating our flags with racism/intolerance and just flew them as a symbol of national pride? There’s nothing inherently wrong with being proud of your home country, is there?

MN tends to be highly critical of the UK, but it has a lot going for it-it’s a democracy for a start. I’d let your DH put up his flag if it makes him happy, OP.

Spot on with observations.😂

You'd be advertising for people to make assumptions (or worse act on them) regardless of which flag he flies.

Because if my DH was desperate for a flag pole (he wouldn't be for obvious reasons) and I had absolutely no way to fight it then I'd have some stipulations such as:

Never the England flag except during rare football moments.

Only the Union Jack when it's times such as coronation etc and everyone's flying one.

To change our for other flags that very very much prove we aren't the EDL types. So during pride month a rainbow flag etc etc.

But thankfully it appears that I will never have to worry about such things.