DH and his flag pole dream….

[Lilysienna1]

DH mentioned a few years ago, that he has ‘always wanted’ to have a flag on display in the front garden. A proper flag on a pole, that we would raise up every morning, and ‘fly at half mast’ when the occasion calls for it.

I have never ever even thought of having a flag. We are British and I know it’s quite common in America, but not so much here. DH isn’t a football fan, so it’s nothing to do with the flag flying we see during the World Cup and the like.

last year, for Christmas he said the only present he would wish for, was to have that flag. He was most disappointed with the watch and aftershave he received instead.

He has now mentioned it to 13 year old DD who thinks it’s ‘kinda cool’ and she could imagine using it behind her for tik tok dances.

So now, I’m being made out to be highly unreasonable and a bore, for saying I do not want to raise a bloody flag every morning and see it outside the front of my house every day. I did try to compromise by saying ‘maybe’ a small one in the back garden, but DH says it’s to go out the front only, and why should we be ashamed of patriotism.

We don’t live in a grand estate home, just a detached house in a redrow cul-de-sac. The neighbours wouldn’t be affected as there are large trees between our only neigbours drive and ours, and we are on the corner.

However, everyone that comes in and out our road will see it as it’s the first house.

what would you do?? Give in and say yes to DH and his flag pole or put your foot down? Am I really being that unreasonable and boring? Does anyone else fly a flag? 🤦🏻‍♀️

Exactly. I wonder if that poster is white British so does not feel uncomfortable living opposite to someone like that.

No it isn’t. Theres none anywhere near me. Not for miles and miles. Densely populated city.

In fact the only time I’ve seen one was next to the house we were going to buy. Ever. In 60 years

This would be the kicker for me (apart from it just being the tackiest thing imaginable!) - you'd be known as 'that' house and, people will absolutely assume Nationalist types live there.

That label comes with big assumptions that I wouldn't want to be linked to in a million years.

What flag does he want to run up it? As people can make assumptions, particularly over the Union Jack, and I am not sure why he needs it out the front.

we do have a flag pole, we have the Scottish flag up, but it’s in the back garden and our garden is a few acres. You can’t see it unless you’re out the back. I like it and I was the driver behind it, not my husband.

but I would not have one in my front garden in a normal cul de sac.

A twat! 😂

When we bought this house, it came with an insert for a flag pole, we have no intention of using it. HOWEVER, I now realise I missed a trick.

Across the road we have two DM reading, refugee hating, in fact anyone who may need the help of society or isn’t white. She barely tolerates my Irishness.

I now wish I had bought and flown the flag of the European Union in the garden during Brexit, it would be the first thing they see when they open their curtains. 😀

I might do it yet. 😂

Imperialsm
Colonialism
Racism
Exceptionalism
Arrogance
Pomposity
Amateurism

Those kind of traits.

It's not about living on "a rough estate." It's about living in an international, multi-cultural city and having due regard to what dreadful things were done to people under that flag, and what dreadful people like to use that flag today to further their obnoxious views.

It's also about understanding that there's a difference between a public institution or a tourist venue flying the flag and private individuals doing the same. We're just not a country (unlike the US) where flying the flag is very normal. We are, actually, a country where flying a flag outsid your house is considered bombastic and a little nutty. Little Englander. The sort of person who couldn't start to imagine what negative impressions people might have about Britain...

"If you are not in that situation, why choose to make people think you're probably a right-wing bigot if you're not? What do you gain by doing it?"

What other people think is on them tbh. You can't go through life not doing what you want because of other people's incorrect assumptions.
As for gain, the dh gains something he's wanted for years and it would please him. He's not causing harm to anyone else. His pleasure isn't less important than some random stranger's opinion.
It's for him and the OP to decide, since it's their house.

its sad that flying the British flag has developed such negative correlations. bloody EDL. ps I say this as an immigrant from Bangladesh where we love our flag. if anyone sticks it infront of their house, people only have positive things to say...

although raising it every morning seems a bit labour intensive

"Imperialsm
Colonialism
Racism
Exceptionalism
Arrogance
Pomposity
Amateurism"

You think no other nation has racism or arrogance or was a colonial power etc?

You forgot about the duped millions who believed the lies from the mouths of Farage and the buses of Boris.

These are the people with the biggest regrets.

I say - let the man have his flags 🇬🇧.

Use it to learn about lots of different cultures, celebrations etc - Scottish flag 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿 on St Andrew's Day, Welsh 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁷󠁬󠁳󠁿 on St David's Day, ROI 🇮🇪 on St Patrick's, English 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿 on St George's... On 7th February you could have a Grenada flag for their independence day 🇬🇩😉.

Read this thread out to my DH and now he quite wants a flagpole...

Plus, opportunity for so many flagpole double entendre jokes.

I agree it’s a bit naff. I think because not enough people do it, so it becomes associated with a ‘certain type of person’

However I don’t think it will cause you ever lasting damage, so I would go with it if it makes him happy.

However I’d try and get some benefit from this and ask to take turns in deciding which flag to fly. In my case I’d be flying the suffragette colours! I’d even let my Dd have a turn, hers would probably be the rainbow pride flag.

He might even get bored with it eventually, or you may find he goes off the idea once he’s told he can do it.

As someone who lives next door to an soemone with a flag pole please don't do this!!!! They make a horrific racket in the wind. They look utterly ridiculous and he will soon get very bored of taking it down so with either not bother putting it up or will leave it uo to annoy everyone.

I may be a tad unreasonable about my idiot neighbour as they insist on leaving dogs out bark incessantly 24/7, have loud abusive arguments and are generally unpleasant.

But please don't think just because you are detached that it won't impact the neighbours!

Newchapterbeckons · Today 11:23

MrsSkylerWhite · Today 11:22

Please don’t encourage him. Couple in our area and their owners are completely batshit!

I adore eccentric people you lucky thing!”

Theres delightfully eccentric then there’s flying a Trump 2024 flag. They also have a sign declaring that “Trespassers will be shot. Survivors will be shot again” This is in NW England! You would not adore them.

Whether is a correct assumption or not I would assume you were racists if I saw a flag flying. We don’t fly flags as standard in the UK

There is a house not far from me that manages to change their flag to suit the occasion, they mostly fly the saltire but when Russia invaded the Ukraine they very quickly put up a Ukraine flag. Its quite interesting and not too tacky, we are in a holiday destination and they let rooms so depending on who they are expecting you sometimes see the stars and stripes etc. They flew the union flag when the queen died and also for the coronation. I guess it gives you something to buy him each birthday/christmas - you could add another flag to his collection. He could have fun with halloween or saints days, show solidarity for national disasters etc., a harmless enough hobby

I'm afraid that's just what I was thinking, too, @KrisAkabusi!

I'm as patriotic as anyone, but I find these public demonstrations of private patriotism make me distinctly uneasy. It may be an outdated attitude, because I'm ancient, but when displayed at other than state or military occasions, it just makes me think of the far-right, EDL/BNP etc. When I was in my late teens/20s, the National Front were a big thing in my area and anyone flying or displaying the flag was invariably a racist twat and probably had links with the far-right groups based half a mile from my house. And it brings back traumatic recollections of massed ranks of far-right racists "proudly" carrying flags at the Battle of Lewisham.

It's a bit attention-seeking at best, and I wouldn't buy a house near the home of anyone who had one in their garden.

I know 3 people who have the Union flag in a flagpole in their front gardens. Without exception, they are all bellends.

Your list seems fifty years out of date maybe even a 100 years - so odd to live your life in 2024 as if this was Britannia empire.

It must be a very uncomfortable juxtaposition for you.

When was this loathing instilled in you? Do you talk like this in real life?

It’s baffling to me. I am sorry for your cynical outlook and the inherent tribalism on your estate.

In other parts of the county - like ours - our multicultural friends embrace the Union Jack as their own flag of course, because so many were born here and love their country and even those that moved here see England is their home.

What a terrible assumption you have made that anyone with a heritage outside of the U.K. would automatically be ‘offended’ by a flag. This assumption in itself is absolutely racist - I am so surprised you would even say that tbh. You can’t speak for everyone everywhere. How dare you.

I am horrified by your posts.

Our neighbour has one. He doesn't raise it every morning, just leaves it up all year round. He has different flags, the Union Jack, our county flag and a Christmas one. He flew it half mast when the Queen died & also when Prince Philip died. It can be a bit annoying when it's windy but he changed some of the fittings so it doesn't clang much anymore. He is ex army so that might be why he has one.

Is it possible that his ambitions might need to have planning permission?

I think you should apologise for your comments masterbeth

If you get pleasure from something that you know might cause other people distress you're a sadist.

No, I don't think that.