DH and his flag pole dream….

[Lilysienna1]

DH mentioned a few years ago, that he has ‘always wanted’ to have a flag on display in the front garden. A proper flag on a pole, that we would raise up every morning, and ‘fly at half mast’ when the occasion calls for it.

I have never ever even thought of having a flag. We are British and I know it’s quite common in America, but not so much here. DH isn’t a football fan, so it’s nothing to do with the flag flying we see during the World Cup and the like.

last year, for Christmas he said the only present he would wish for, was to have that flag. He was most disappointed with the watch and aftershave he received instead.

He has now mentioned it to 13 year old DD who thinks it’s ‘kinda cool’ and she could imagine using it behind her for tik tok dances.

So now, I’m being made out to be highly unreasonable and a bore, for saying I do not want to raise a bloody flag every morning and see it outside the front of my house every day. I did try to compromise by saying ‘maybe’ a small one in the back garden, but DH says it’s to go out the front only, and why should we be ashamed of patriotism.

We don’t live in a grand estate home, just a detached house in a redrow cul-de-sac. The neighbours wouldn’t be affected as there are large trees between our only neigbours drive and ours, and we are on the corner.

However, everyone that comes in and out our road will see it as it’s the first house.

what would you do?? Give in and say yes to DH and his flag pole or put your foot down? Am I really being that unreasonable and boring? Does anyone else fly a flag? 🤦🏻‍♀️

@Thewolvesarerunningagain which is why it would be good if nice, normal people did it - to eventually remove that association. I think it's sad that English people feel uncomfortable at the sight of our own flag.
Hopefully the OP's neighbours know her husband well enough to know he's not trying to say anything negative.

My Dh grew up in a house that was built in the 1920s for someone high up in the military and had a flag pole in the front garden. My FiL used to love flying the flag. MiL just let him get on with it. Not sure if the pole is still there as house was sold when FiL died back in 2008. However, I do recall him saying that something about needing permission from the local council or similar these days before you can put up a flag pole.Not sure how true that is but perhaps worth inverstigating before investing in one OP?

Doing it now, after Brexit and at a time when the Far Right is rising again in Europe, that would be a nope from me.

I’m sorry but this is hilarious!

does he know how it will look? I agree with the brexit voting, tattoos and fear of foreigners stereotype.

The thing is it looks very tacky and I wouldn’t like it on my street, even though that sounds ridiculous.

I wouldn’t
lad at work got a visit from the council to take the union back flag down him put up when the queen died

He’s ex military no pitbull tattoo or offensive views

Would you say that other European countries should stop flying theirs. The far right isn't as much of a problem in the UK than in other nations. Nations who do regularly display their flags without criticism or judgement.

The noise is dreadful. You wouldn't think that a flag pole and flag would make such a racket but they do. It's all the time too. Even if there's no wind, the pole creaks and groans.

I drive past a house on my way to take my daughter to school that has two massive flagpoles outside. I have privately dubbed it 'Captain Flags' house. The flags change depending on occasion/time of year etc. Looks totally ridiculous and out of place in an otherwise pretty row of country houses. Bet their neighbours hate them 😆

Why would you agree with a stereotype? Human behaviour and interaction is far more nuanced than that.

Thinking it's tacky is fair enough. It's a personal taste thing. But I'm uncomfortable with the idea that a person shouldn't. That seems to be compromising the freedom of expression that we are all so proud of.

Try displaying an Israeli or Palestinian flag right now in your garden and see what happens. Flags are not neutral!

Perhaps the UK muddles along precisely because it doesn't ask people to constantly perform their national identity, it's a better place to be foreign (IMO) than many many other European countries.

I think having a celebration of Britishness at a Coronation or a Jubilee or something is fine. Rest of the time, you seem to be very attached to that.

I'm surprised at the number of people on here who either love the Royal Family so much or love the UK so much they want to let everyone know about it at all times- that's not the impression I've got from the 100's of threads on how crap life right now in the UK/NHS/schools/roads/life in general on Mumsnet!

If it’s a Union Jack it’s probably ok but where I’m from if someone has a George Flag on display (and it’s not the World Cup) it’s usually an indication to stay away from a dangerous family. It’s a shame that a few idiots have ruined the meaning of National flags for the rest of us. I also wonder how comfortable other residents of your street would feel. They might be absolutely fine with it but it might be nice to just let your neighbours know that you only have positive intentions behind it.

My uncle who is in the orange lodge. Has a huge flag outside his house, it’s horrible and tacky. The council have told him umpteen times to get it down.

Symbols and their meaning vary from country to country and culture to culture. The meaning of flags means something different in, say, Belfast Vs London. It can also be true that it means something different in different countries.

OP, the thing that would worry me is the noise mentioned by other posters and the fact that we've had severe winds recently. I would be a bit concerned about it not being secure and flying through someone's window in a storm.

There is one in the village where I live and he /she changes the flag regularly - seasonal, county flag etc However on a new estate it might look like a flag for the development company. It took about 2 years for our builders to remove theirs.

The far right is rising in Europe has nothing to do with flying a flag in the U.K!

Maybe if other countries offered their citizens a modicum of democracy and hold referendums the people would not have to resort to such drastic action. This is what happens when an autocracy runs an entire continent, and people have no say over what happens to them and their communities.

Many countries are now paying the price for a lack of democracy, accountability and transparency and the riots have already started.

https://news.sky.com/story/amp/fires-erupt-as-farmers-protest-outside-european-parliament-in-brussels-13061212

'why should we be ashamed of patriotism'... the mating cry of the BNP/EDL type racist.

Honestly the political undercurrents to this are such a turn off and say so much about a person (that does not align with my morals) it would literally be a relationship deal breaker for me.

If it was something ridiculous like he loved pirates and wanted to fly the Jolly Roger or a 'family' flag the kids designed I could maybe see the funny side of it but the line 'why should we be ashamed of patriotism' literally is a massive red flag.

Wow so many responses! To answer a few PP- yes, this is a real thread. Not sure why it wouldn’t be - from many of the responses, there are a fair few people on here that have a flag pole, know someone with one, or have a DH that wants one, so it’s not really that hard to believe or exciting enough to be a fake thread. 🤦🏻‍♀️
To anyone that hasn’t read all my responses, his reasoning for wanting one is because of a family holiday when he was a child, staying in the states with a family that had a flag. He has wanted one since then. He’s not a racist or a football hooligan. He was in the Boy Scouts. 😬 he collects coins and stamps. He is a bit of a royalist. Never been in the forces but does work for the MOD!

is there a reason why a flag would make you so anxious? Is it MH issues?

My basic rule is, there’s nothing brave or patriotic about flying your own flag, in your own country in peace time. The default option is you’d imagine the occupants of a given house are British until told otherwise. There’s no need for a flag.

Yes, this. Exactly this.

It's actually very British not to fly a flag. It's classic, polite and understated. There's no need to loudly proclaim your Britishness to the rest of Britain.

Flying a Union flag doesn't show how British you are. It shows how many of the negative British traits you have.

Live in Central Europe. Many people have little allotment/garden plots here with mini-dachas and often have flagpoles. Most fly the state flag, the flag of a different nationality, or the flag of their football team. Quite a few Ukrainian ones around. The ones with the home nation's flag do raise a bit of an eyebrow, even though it could be meant either way. And there's the odd Confederate flag, which leaves no room for doubt

I used to live in a town where the town hall would fly topical flags - a Pride one when equal marriage was introduced and the Tibetan one on Free Tibet day every year. I liked that. I think if you're going to have your own flagpole you need a big variety and some humour (Jolly Roger) too.

negative British traits??
What would they be?....

What negative traits might they be?

Almost every street and hotel has flags flying in west London why would that be remotely ‘negative’? Cotswold villages, Cornwall etc. Do you lot live on very rough council estates maybe and it has a different code or something 🤷🏼‍♀️