DH and his flag pole dream….

[Lilysienna1]

DH mentioned a few years ago, that he has ‘always wanted’ to have a flag on display in the front garden. A proper flag on a pole, that we would raise up every morning, and ‘fly at half mast’ when the occasion calls for it.

I have never ever even thought of having a flag. We are British and I know it’s quite common in America, but not so much here. DH isn’t a football fan, so it’s nothing to do with the flag flying we see during the World Cup and the like.

last year, for Christmas he said the only present he would wish for, was to have that flag. He was most disappointed with the watch and aftershave he received instead.

He has now mentioned it to 13 year old DD who thinks it’s ‘kinda cool’ and she could imagine using it behind her for tik tok dances.

So now, I’m being made out to be highly unreasonable and a bore, for saying I do not want to raise a bloody flag every morning and see it outside the front of my house every day. I did try to compromise by saying ‘maybe’ a small one in the back garden, but DH says it’s to go out the front only, and why should we be ashamed of patriotism.

We don’t live in a grand estate home, just a detached house in a redrow cul-de-sac. The neighbours wouldn’t be affected as there are large trees between our only neigbours drive and ours, and we are on the corner.

However, everyone that comes in and out our road will see it as it’s the first house.

what would you do?? Give in and say yes to DH and his flag pole or put your foot down? Am I really being that unreasonable and boring? Does anyone else fly a flag? 🤦🏻‍♀️

And how's the Brexit dream going for you? Feeling the benefits of all that sovereignty?

You’re 80% more likely to be racist if your garden has a flag pole flying the Union Jack or St George’s cross.

Source: my prejudice/ spot on judgement.

I very gamely accepted a cap and t-shirt, just to honour my hosts. They do get very intense, though. Football is more than a sport.

My two teenagers want a flagpole. They are Autistic.
I thought I could put them off by quizzing them about details.
Turns out, they have a whole Ceremony thought through. And practised

Does he own a bugle? Will there be reveille every morning?
Will anyone have to salute?

Will the family have to participate?

He's nuts!

(We had a flagpole in the back garden when I was growing up. We attached one end of the washing line to it)

Yep, I like your style.

As l stated earlier, we drove away from a house we were interested in becauseNDN had Union Jack on flagpole.

Oh my god! What's the other 20%? Jeremy Corbyn supporter? Guardian reader? Ceramic artist?

Love it.

This made me giggle.
I wouldn't want it either.
There's a cluster of houses local to me that have flag poles. And my neighbour had one jn back garden. It's act
Q1 n1l11pually fairly noisy and rattles.
Most of them only use the flag poles on special occasions- coronation, jubilee, Olympics, remeberance Sunday, St Georges day etc
Could you compromise on bunting?😄

Don't want to be living in a world where we are verging in George Orwell's 1966.

😂

My neighbour has one. Usually it's flying a Yorkshire white rose flag which I don't really mind but I would still never ever ever have one myself. He puts up a Union Jack sometimes which I hate. He has a Remembrance Day help for heroes type one at that time of year.

You need new friends and family, must be wearing to know such bigots.

I have checked.

Well now I feel thick for saying 1966 when it's 1984 😂not bothered about the specific ins and outs of the book. I meant the general gist of the book is what I'm opposed of. Don't want people policing my thoughts OR what I have in my front garden (obviously apart from if I had a flag saying along the lines of 'every one should hate people of colour and kill them'). Anyway, I've leant a lot from this thread, that some people are idiots about flags. So thanks 😁

I don’t know that that’s fair. A flagpole can be highly political, or commercial in that it’s used for advertising ( and I think, tbh, that’s where the need for planning comes in but don’t quote me and check anyway OP), or it can just be for “soft” messages. I can’t see that supporting your local team or putting up a New Years flag is such a fundamental conversion as a religious one. It’s well outside anything I’d have felt a need to declare on accepting a marriage proposal. That doesn’t mean it doesn’t need discussion, just that I don’t think not mentioning it before marriage should mean there’s no room for discussion now.

I wouldn't want one but as long as he isn't a racist, BNP/NF card-carrying member, I don't think there's any harm in it.
If he's not the above, I think it's a middle-aged, male who possibly is very tidy, orderly, organised and likes structure kind of thing. Bit of an obsessive about things? Harmless though. Is it for a Union Jack? Flag of St George/Andrew/David or what? Is he a Tory?

My neighbours have a flagpole.

They chose to erect the flagpole in the very corner of their front garden, so the flag flies over my garden and regularly attaches itself to the tree that we have in the corner of our front garden - planted long before the flag - and they complain to us about it

Everybody in our town thinks they’re absolute knobs … if that helps!

@Eightfour I live on one side of an anti-gay church, my friend and her family live on the other. We're both keen to get Pride flags... does that count?!

@MasterBeth I think it's been grossly mismanaged, but at the time I had valid reasons for voting as I did. And half the country either took the same view or didn't care enough to vote remain. We can't all be thick racists and I think this assumption reflects more negatively on the people who say it, than it does on the people they are speaking about.

There's no understanding of, or room for nuance, amongst the kind of poster who immediately goes to the pov that the OP's dh in wanting a flag pole = thick racist! People have numerous motivations for the things they do and it's not weird to want something in adulthood that he was denied as a child.

Some neighbours of ours have a flagpole.

They had to get planning permission and it took a while. It is big, and has had to be re-secured after the recent high winds. Friends who live closer do hear the (loud) noise of the metal hardware clanking against the pole at all hours and it’s not the kind of noise you can get used to and tune out.

However, it has ended up being quite a nice local landmark. They have a range of flags and change them quite frequently, and the children do like to see what is flying. In addition to the flags of the home nations and the Union Flag (I was taught that it’s only a Jack when a ship is in harbour but have never verified this!) they have a Pride flag for all of June, a Jolly Roger, etc etc.

I am still not sure I would want it on my own property. Get DH to start by investigating the planning process as this may be enough to put him off!

My FIL flies a flag. Sounds similar set up to you location wise. He’s not some Ye olde England type. He’s a modern day 50 yo professional.

It is quite jokes actually. We have lgbt flag, the flag of visitors if from overseas, sometimes a political flag like the Ukraine flag. We have the British flag which gets cracked out on occasion. For example coronation or lowered for death of queen.

I personally would not like it in my own garden but if this was DPs dream I wouldn’t say no. What I would say is that it’s a flag democracy and we aren’t having the British 24/7. That I too would be choosing fun flags.

If you say so 😂

9am. Your comment to me.

I was thinking maybe you are our neighbour 🤣 but then ours doesn’t clank. Maybe it would creak a bit in high winds but I forget it’s their majority of the time.

I live in a town that is disproportionately fond of bunting - the union flag gets cracked out quite regularly. For many it's seen as quite pro royal , than anything else.

I thought this was gonna be dh in a strip club watching a pole dancer lol