DH and his flag pole dream….

[Lilysienna1]

DH mentioned a few years ago, that he has ‘always wanted’ to have a flag on display in the front garden. A proper flag on a pole, that we would raise up every morning, and ‘fly at half mast’ when the occasion calls for it.

I have never ever even thought of having a flag. We are British and I know it’s quite common in America, but not so much here. DH isn’t a football fan, so it’s nothing to do with the flag flying we see during the World Cup and the like.

last year, for Christmas he said the only present he would wish for, was to have that flag. He was most disappointed with the watch and aftershave he received instead.

He has now mentioned it to 13 year old DD who thinks it’s ‘kinda cool’ and she could imagine using it behind her for tik tok dances.

So now, I’m being made out to be highly unreasonable and a bore, for saying I do not want to raise a bloody flag every morning and see it outside the front of my house every day. I did try to compromise by saying ‘maybe’ a small one in the back garden, but DH says it’s to go out the front only, and why should we be ashamed of patriotism.

We don’t live in a grand estate home, just a detached house in a redrow cul-de-sac. The neighbours wouldn’t be affected as there are large trees between our only neigbours drive and ours, and we are on the corner.

However, everyone that comes in and out our road will see it as it’s the first house.

what would you do?? Give in and say yes to DH and his flag pole or put your foot down? Am I really being that unreasonable and boring? Does anyone else fly a flag? 🤦🏻‍♀️

My father was in the forces and taught me this. Perhaps things have changed now and I stand corrected if so.

Put your foot down. The 2 people I know who have flag poles are proper Little Englanders. It’s a bad look.

Yes, when I was in the Guides we were taught that it was Flag on land, Jack at sea.
Probably interchangeable, but Flag seems more formal.

We have an old bloke near to us with a flag pole in his front garden. He has hundreds of different flags and flies a different one every day depending on which country is having its national day. Last Friday was Australia Day so he flew the Australian flag and so on. On a day that isn't a national day for someone he often flies the Union flag but he has a selection of fun flags such as pirate, pride and some sports ones like NFL or cricket etc (rarely football though).

My youngest DC would go home and look up the flags and even now has a huge flag knowledge 😆

What if you fly the flag of Wales, Scotland, France or Fiji?

Whenever I see a national flag flying outside someone's home, I just assume they must be nutters.

Put your foot down. The 2 people I know who have flag poles are proper Little Englanders. It’s a bad look

Where do you people live that is inhabited by 'gammons', 'brexiteers', 'aging tories', 'little Englanders', 'flagshaggers' and any other of the horrible insults thrown about?

My village is a lovely, friendly little place and those who have flagpoles are as lovely as everyone else.

It couldn't be that there are some really nasty, judgemental bigots on this thread could it? Because the abuse is flowing one way only.

Dont have a flagpole in your garden then

Perfect example. Pathetic.

Neighbour always flew some flag whenever formula one racing was on. Son living in Bermuda brought home a massive pirate flag for his little brother.

Exactly, @WaterHound . I'm actually surprised at the level of ignorance and bigotry. Nutters? Really?
I also think that some people have never travelled. It's very common in most countries, particularly around sporting events.

If you need PP offer the neighbours wine to object. 😀

In my village there’s at least 3 flag fliers/flyers(?).

One flies seasonal flags, so Halloween, Christmas etc. It’s harmless and I think the people are all a bit older and probably not the yobbish, bulldog, ENGEEEERLAND supporting meatheads one would normally think of when thinking about flags.

If he wants a flag, go for it. It’s not my taste but we are all different.

Get it. It’s quite a humble little dream - he’s not asking to move to Australia or chuck in the day jobs to do something you’ve never done before like buy 100 acres and take up a farming lifestyle when you’ve never so much as had a veg patch in your garden or buy a dog when he can’t pick up poo as per another thread!

I wouldn’t call it Brexity or anything at all. It’s nice your DD is interested.

There was, until fairly recently, a flagpole in front of a very nice house on a very nice road that I knew and passed regularly that became a local landmark. It looked right somehow - it was well positioned to complement the house features. They’d clearly thought about it. Right from the 1970s to the 2010s at least, may still be there for all I know but I no longer have relatives in that town so haven’t been there for a long time.

In a village near us another local man changes flags across two poles on a regular basis - for the 6 Nations, so 3 on each side, for example, the Ukrainian flag and for Christmas etc. A local landmark and people look forward to what’s going up and the display changing regularly. It’s a bit of fun and colour.

That is a useful comparison. It’s disingenuous to pretend that the Union Jack has no negative connotations.

It’s equally disingenuous to pretend that athletes coming for Great Britain wrapped in the flag at the end of a race or fans flying flags in windows on match days/during tournaments is the same as permanently erecting a flagpole in your front garden to fly a flag.

But outing but screw it.

When I moved into this house, it had TWO flag poles. There is a window at half landing level to the front and there were 2 flag holders attached so they would fly proudly above the entrance door.

We really liked the idea of keeping the pair and thought it might be fun in a mock ambassador way but the more we thought about it, the more we realised the pitfalls. Would we have flown the Ukraine flag if neighbours asked? What about Israel or Palestine? We live in a very multi cultural area and it could be a nightmare.

in the end the holders were found to be part welded to the old windows so had to go as the windows were replaced. I await my DP asking me the same though one day!

There are two flags poles very close to my house and others in the small town where i live

it is a seaside town which might make a difference

Yeah this. At the very least it makes me think you'll be a dreadful Brexiteer or Borders bore.

When we bought our last house we actively avoided buying next to anywhere that had flags. There's a surprising amount once you start looking.

Well, yes... Identifying so strongly with a nationality only ever leads to trouble. Advertising it is a whole new level of stupid.

Do you? I didn't. The phrasing sounds just like the type of person who would say that, so hats off if she was.

@ToBeOrNotToBee I wonder are we neighbours given the Jolly Rodger’s flag? Big corner property?

What would you do?? Give in and say yes to DH and his flag pole or put your foot down?

For me it would come down to whether I wanted to knock 20% of the value of my property, to be honest.

South east london?

Each to their own. It's a free society. Just let them get on with it.

Awwwww
Get the flag. It isn't offensive in any way, the reason you feel uncomfortable is because its unusual so you would stand out. But life's too short to miss out on things you really want to do because you are afraid of standing out. And your husband does really want this. At worst it will make your house look slightly eccentric. But that's not a bad thing. Think of all the things he could have wanted as a lifelong dream and be happy this makes him happy.