Asking employer to cover childcare costs

[Totupthenumberspls]

I’ve been asked to go on a business trip for a week, is it unreasonable to ask the company to pay the incremental childcare costs?

Oh bloody hell. Punished for not reproducing 🤣
I suppose maternity leave is unfair too as it’s a year off work?

So in the same vein, imagine a couple car share. William doesn’t work on Wednesdays, so Kate takes the car. William is asked to come in on a Wednesday, which will incur him greater costs than if he drove in, and it will also mean they will have to arrange for someone to look after the corgis.

If the company offer to pay the travel difference and the dog walker is that punishing all of employees who have two cars and no pets?

Except it would be held against her by others when you show that parents get preferential treatment even when they have the same job and contract as others

Would you say the same about paid maternity leave? Because many people fought against that when it was suggested too. And people were pissed off about the childcare hours recently introduced for 2 year olds too.

I have no thoughts about the OPs request except she could explain her situation to her employer and they can decide between them if there is an agreement they can reach. It’s not unreasonable to ask. She could request a pay increase to cover her costs - that IS the sort of thing a man would do and everyone would accept it.

It’s okay to have conversations with your employer about the issues that are raised within your workplace due to working requests. If the OP is normally a hard worker then I don’t see why a manager would suddenly decide never to hire women of child baring age again. They’d be a pretty idiotic manager if they did.

This thread has gotten out of control.

Because @Reugny it results in the childless folk getting the tasks no one else wants to do. And for the company, it results in an expense to them which wouldn't be required for childless people.

I think it’s simply a case of either you change travel and it’s a bit inconvenient (which travel generally can be for many people with or without kids) or you say you can’t go due to your circumstances and then they have a choice of doing remotely, sending someone else or offering to find a way to allow you to go.

In general for occasional work travel that’s part of your contract you should be able to figure something out. I generally agreed with my boss I’d work significant extra hours when travelling but used the banked time to do shorter days before going or on return. That way OH could do both drop off and pick up/work less when I was away and we’d swap on my return. It wasn’t entirely about saving money for us but more we were a bit reluctant to extend the kids childcare time when they were already in nursery/school & wraparound 8-6 three days a week. When that didn’t work we paid for extra hours & it is a bit rubbish but it’s pretty standard in big companies that occasional travel can be expected so it is just part of your role.

Times work did cover childcare were when I was working 80% but went on a 3 week trip they paid the kids extra nursery fees & time they asked me to travel when my husband was already committed to work late several days and they covered a nanny. In the first case work said when asking me to go that they could help with any childcare costs. In the second I initially said I couldn’t go as OH was already committed. I feel in both cases it was a reasonable compromise.

The people at work I know who incur the biggest expenses when they have to travel (by miles) are the ones who are single with dogs & have to cover them going in kennels. We had a project where we were travelling 2 weeks out of 8 and it cost my friend a fortune to cover her 2 dogs. When she got them she had family who were able to help but 10 years on one parent was infirm, one had died and her siblings had moved so she was in a position of moving roles for one with less travel or paying.

I think if it’s totally atypical for you to travel and it’s going to be a significant impact to you either financially or from a family pov it’s ok to say you can’t go and to offer alternatives like doing the training online.

The not if the company extended the same response to all their staff. If they treat staff differently that’s on them, not on the staff member who is simply asking.

Also she is okay with discrimination against childfree people which can get really tricky if the person is part of a protected group

Yes it is as they chose to only have one car and dogs

Except it is on the staff member when they are using it as an excuse to get out of what they are contractually obligated to do

Not where I work and have worked.

Some of the childless people are carers for relatives from young adult children with disabilities to an frail elderly parent. So they are more of the ones who can't work late or do stuff on weekends. There as many of the parents have a partner who can pick up the slack during those times.

As I said, she can be an adult and have a conversation with her employer. If they decide she’s a good member of staff and worth it then they agree to either fund it or not send her. If not they think she is taking the piss and she doesn’t get work opportunities in the future, but that probably all depends on how she words it and how much give she has.

The world of womens rights won’t have ended because one woman makes a request regarding her own job to her employer. People are acting like the OP is pointing ‘witch!’ at other mothers and single people. It’s a serious overreaction to someone’s personal job problem. All the OP needs to do is approach her manager and say ‘I’m struggling with the idea of going away due to childcare issues. Is there any way or resolving this so it suits us both?’ Etc etc. She can ask. And people saying ‘Men would never ask’ one of the main reasons why men get paid more than women is because men ASK for pay rises and women feel they can’t. They damn well would ask if it was on them.

Don't ask for childcare cost you would be embarrassing yourself you contract is clear travel and location as necessary. Ask your dh to arrange his work hours or you pay the childcare. It's £37.50 annually for extra childcare costs according to your contract that's nothing.

All the OP needs to do is approach her manager and say ‘I’m struggling with the idea of going away due to childcare issues. Is there any way or resolving this so it suits us both?’

Indeed. And many of us have made thjs suggestion. OP seems incapable of seeing that nuance, however.

£300 is a lot extra for the wrap around bit.
How is that worked out?

Also, travelling for work will be on work time, so can you not claim overtime for the additional hours? Are they expecting you to stay there for a weekend?

If the childcare is too expensive and this trip is unusual based on your usual 9 til 5 office hours, then just put in writing that unfortunately, due to childcare issues, you will not be able to attend the trip unless they are able to pay the additional £300 to cover the additional childcare costs involved.

Your contract might say travel for business, but if you've nearly always done 9 til 5, this is a huge change.

Yes it is ridiculous.

You have a partner who can do the late pick ups. It's ridiculous that you would expect your employer to pay to avoid "inconveniencing" your partner. He's a parent, he should be covered this whilst you're working abroad.

It wouldn't even occur to me to ask for money towards this.

Does your partners work pay anything towards you being inconvenienced because you have to do the pick ups every day? Have you asked his work to pay extra so that you can work until 6pm?

I also notice you call him partner and not husband. I would sort that asap given you seem to have accepted a role as second class citizen in your relationship and taken a financial and career hit.

Your attitude to your job doesn't sound good either. You should go on work trips when they are requested unless there is some genuine reason why you can't. Whinging that you don't see why you've been asked to go etc doesn't sound good on here and implies you don't have a very good attitude to your job either.

Have only read the OP's posts, but... you're definitely being both unreasonable and obtuse.

Imagine you had a dog. You'd have the same challenge of having to extend care for it. Should your employer pay?

No. You choose to have a dog along with your current chosen job and contract so you have to anticipate things like that. Same with a child.

I appreciate that and I don’t get why her partner can’t step up, makes no sense at all, but I really dislike the accusations that the OP is destroying feminism by making a personal request. It’s a personal request between one person and their manager, not a public campaign to change a law.

@TylaTiga I think the point around feminism is that a lot of women have worked bloody hard to prove that having children and caring about your job are not mutually exclusive. And that having children doesn't mean you're going to take the piss with your job and be less committed and that women have just as much right to be in the workforce as men and the same value. OP seems to be flying in the face of that by suggesting her employer should pay for childcare simply to avoid inconveniencing her partner and saying she sees no reason why she should go on a work trip in the first place.

A man would just leave his children to his built-in carer. It wouldn't occur to him to ask for costs because it wouldn't occur to him that the childcare status was changing in any way.

Having said that, I don't think you can insist on covering costs, OP. You can ask but they'll likely say no.

Definitely ask and see what happens.

Also working in what used to be and tbh still is in some practices a very male dominated environment as an architect.
The pressures on family life when both work, the guilt over taking maternity and even getting pregnant was piled on me years ago.
However
Ultimately if we want to be treated equally and we want respect we need to take the hit with costs such as this. If we were not offered the training and all your male colleagues were because it’s too costly to send you then everyone would be up in arms over discrimination.

Remember your partner also has childcare responsibilities. He equally should be working out a way to accomodate the trip, not just you!

As These expenses are not in your contract.
Take the training. I was never offered it as the only women in my practice. Thank goodness at least we have moved on. Even if it’s just tiny steps.

I don't think you can ask for childcare costs.

But the reality is that many people won't be available outside their usual working hours due to caring responsibilities of some sort or another. I don't see why you should tie yourself in knots pretending to your employer that you don't have children who need to be cared for. I think it's fine to say, "sorry I won't be able to go as I don't have childcare in place to be away for that length of time", especially if you're in a job where travelling for work hasn't really been expected of you. You could also ask about alternatives... Could the training be delivered online or pre-recorded, for example?

But if you want to go, your children have a perfectly competent other parent, so I'd ask them if they could look into rearranging their shifts or taking some leave so you can go. Might be nice to have some time away. And equality in your situation must surely mean that sometimes your partner will miss work or take a hit professionally to support you in your job. You shouldn't be the only one expecting accommodations from your work.

YABVU
You sound entitled and short-term focused with this attitude.
I have been travelling for work several times a month since starting my career, sometimes for one week in a row if not more. Never ever thought about expensing the incremental cost to my employer.
I would either pay for additional childcare, ask my husband to step-in, have the grand parents over, ask friends etc
Yes it's been a bit costly at times but as a result of my commitment I have been regularly promoted throughout my career and my compensation today far exceeds historical incremental childcare cost.

This is such a non issue

• your contract includes expectations to travel
• your partner is available to pick up the slack

You need to get over yourself here OP.

All the OP needs to do is approach her manager and say ‘I’m struggling with the idea of going away due to childcare issues. Is there any way or resolving this so it suits us both?’

Except she doesn't have childcare issues. She has admitted that her partner is quite capable/able of doing the additional childcare.