Asking employer to cover childcare costs

[Totupthenumberspls]

I’ve been asked to go on a business trip for a week, is it unreasonable to ask the company to pay the incremental childcare costs?

Time for your partner to do more 50/50 for 8 days......

Why do you think your employer should pay your childcare costs because YOUR partner is refusing to parent HIS OWN children?

Were you hoping everyone would just agree with you because you seem to be ignoring the perfectly sensible responses as to why you are being unreasonable.

My partner will manage if needs too.

Excellent, problem solved

What does your partner doing 50:50 childcare actually mean? Do you mean he pays half?

The fact you’re being a bit aggressive in your replies, OP, is a shame because it’s somewhat undermining what is actually an interesting and valid discussion.

Childcare costs in the Uk are ridiculous, and I guess whilst I don’t necessarily think the business should cover the costs, there is a part of me that thinks there’s a valid “why not” argument.

What if OP was a single parent? Male or female, primary carer and was asked to go on this trip?

Sure, kids are a lifestyle choice. But they’re a relatively common one and odds are most people in an office over 35 are more likely than not to be a parent (I type this as a 40+ childfree by choice person FYI), so whilst an employee may not explicitly state they have a child, most businesses can reasonably assume a large portion of their workforce have kids.

So perhaps there is an argument that any non-day-to-day travel should offer certain unique compensations… I haven’t fully formed this thought, just ruminating.

(edited typos)

Who is the father of your children? Your husband or your employer?

That's great, so there's no problem then?

Then I'm afraid you're not entitled to it. However, if you've worked there 8 years, you will have some good working relationships, so you could broach the issue with your line manager. "There's no business need for me to be there and it's going to leave me significantly out of pocket on childcare costs for a week. Could the company cover costs, or meet me half way on this?" When I've had to go away for several nights, dh has stepped up.

Erm because he's the dad and they're a business that you agreed to work for?

Again OP - are you going to ask your partners employee to pay half the child care costs?

Surely most people have commitments like children, pets or elderly relatives, employers can’t cover these costs it’s ridiculous to ask them to pay for your choices.

Again, why can't your partner pick up and drop off your (his?) child from nursery? You knew that travelling was in your work contract. You said he does 50/50 childcare but it doesn't seem like he does if your child is in full time nursery and you mainly look after him outside of nursery.

Then the argument would be different.

Personal circumstances make your argument in these cases as a PP has shown.

Some parts of my organisation offer this, e.g. when I have been asked to come in on a day I don't work and another time I claimed some childcare on expenses when my partner couldn't cover due to his work. Other areas I would probably have to ask and might depend on the budget source. I would ask and see what they say

Why would OP's husband be OP's employer unpaid babysitter for 8 days?

I have argued this to my husband anytime his manager is asking him to work on Saturdays. I didn't choose to have children on my own, we do 50/50 and if he can't do his share then he has to work it out. What his employer wants and the fact that he won't say "no" isn't my problem, he can't assume I'll be available.

Being hard nosed about it, I'd say you're lucky this is the first time you've been asked to do something that is included as a possibility in your contract.

Being more charitable: as this is the only time you've been asked to do it, I think it's worth asking your employer if they will cover additional costs. I expect they will say no but you never know.

That said, not sure why you need that much wrap around care if your husband can pitch in? I had a role where I had to be away sometimes and DH had to do nursery runs on those days, as inconvenient as it was. Better than paying £100s on additional care (unless he can earn more in that time).

BTW way before COVID, we were delivering education via zoom as it was often being delivered to people in multiple countries. Is it possible to deliver the education remotely? Or part of it at least to reduce the length of your trip?

What an absolute shit show of a thread.

However it does highlight how women are screwed: suck it up buttercup and next time choose a better partner. The op hasn't said why her DH can't do pick ups at the usual time.

A few days ago there was a thread about WFH and being asked, as per the contract, to go into the office some days. There was cries of, as it was two years, it could be an implied change of contract (to not go to the office) what's the difference?

OP - ask, you've lost nothing, imo you are doing worse by just sucking it up, there is an impact and work needs to know.

@BitchImLoco apologies, I don’t mean to come across as aggressive. I guess I’m just exasperated at some of the responses, to me it seems a lot of people here don’t value themselves.
I agree, male/female single/married…that doesn’t matter.
My sole point is that I don’t see why I should be out of pocket for business purposes which are not a routine matter.

I'm horrified that the op, and a few others, aren't grasping their own sexism here.

Their stance seems to be(
If a man goes on a business trip, his wife should cover everything, and it would be ludicrous to ask their employer to cover anything.
If a woman goes on a business trip, the husband, nor his company, should be inconvenienced; and it's the woman's company who should cover the costs.

How, on earth, can you not see that this stance is detrimental to women because therefore employing a woman costs the company more than employing a man.

The company are not discriminating against women at all. They are being completely equal.

You, however, are. The problem is in your relationship, not the companies policies.

Yes but the counter argument, which you seem to be missing, is that you aren't out of pocket because their dad is around.

You switch from "I need £300 extra childcare" to "well, yes my DP could do it, but why should he have to?"

Ask.

Companies happily pay costs associated with travel, that you'd normally cover day to day, like petrol, parking, lunches etc.

So worth an ask!

Because your children have nothing to do with the business. You didn't have them for "business purposes". They are personal choices. Lifestyle choices. Like if you chose to move 200 miles away from your place of work, the additional expense of travelling into the office is your responsibility, not your employer's. Your choice to have children has nothing to do with them.

@Totupthenumberspls I'm really glad you've started this thread. I would never have thought to ask, I would have just rejected the business trip, but next time I will!

If they're already selling out £20k, then another £300 is nothing!

You must be an amazing trainer for them to chuck £20k at this...!

Loads of companies help pay travel costs or free meals or whatever.

I think it's worth asking for childcare costs. 10 days is quite a long trip with young kids so being out of pocket as well is hard. It's probably not a lot of money for the business and just one extra expense for them.

My preference and expectation would be for my partner to step up and cover the extra childcare, or as much as possible, but then plugging the gaps with paid childcare.