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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Thinking DS' travel itinerary is none of our business

157 replies

WelshMeg · 30/01/2024 16:04

DS is 18, he's going inter-railing in the summer 6 weeks or so all in, with 5 friends.
Last night he was talking about his itinerary, they have decided to pre-book all their hostels as apparently it's not uncommon in some places to be unable to get a room.
In the 48 days I think it is they are travelling they have booked for 20 different cities. They aren't doing any massive travel days but some are more complicated than others (like getting from Lake Bled to Trieste or having to get a boat across Lake Como to get to the hostel) but generally they aren't travelling more than 4 hours in a day and there are quite alot of 1/2 hour journeys like Venice - Lake Garda - Milan, Lausanne - Geneva etc.
DH thinks they will be exhausted, I think yeah they probably will be but it's not our business and leave them to figure it out?
They are staying 2-3 nights in each place (maybe one place is a one night stay but I think it's because of trains).
AIBU thinking it's not our business and we shouldn't warn him? Or should we suggest they change it up so they aren't moving so quickly all the time.

OP posts:
Cyclistmumgrandma · 31/01/2024 13:57

Husband and I recently spent a month crossing Canada from Halifax to Vancouver Island, by train, car and boat. 1 small roll along and a backpack each. The longest we spent in any one place was 3 nights, mostly 2 nights with the occasional 1 night..... We are in our 60's and were fine. I don't think you need to worry!

hudpat · 31/01/2024 14:20

Cyclistmumgrandma · 31/01/2024 13:57

Husband and I recently spent a month crossing Canada from Halifax to Vancouver Island, by train, car and boat. 1 small roll along and a backpack each. The longest we spent in any one place was 3 nights, mostly 2 nights with the occasional 1 night..... We are in our 60's and were fine. I don't think you need to worry!

I am doing the same this summer and still finalizing some plans now. Do you have any hot tips for must-sees? Or anything that wasn't that great?

Off topic I know!

TheLovleyChebbyMcGee · 31/01/2024 14:35

Ah to be young again! I bet they have a great time. I remember when I was young and skint I used to work 7am till 2pm at one shop and then walk across town for another shift from 2.30 till 10pm. I don't remember being knackered, but then, I spent all my time out outside of work hearing the cheapie flipflops and could walk for miles in them without getting sore feet!

CactusMactus · 31/01/2024 15:17

Sounds like an incredible adventure.

Debtfreegoals · 31/01/2024 17:13

It probably will be exhausting but he’s 18. In actually really impressed they planned it all

IMustDoMoreExercise · 31/01/2024 17:15

Can't they speak to someone their age who has done something similar and find out if they are doing too much?

moomoomoo27 · 31/01/2024 18:19

They'll regret not spending longer in each place because they won't have enough time in each. When you're spending more time travelling than actually seeing places, that's when people start falling out because it's boring and tiring.

We went to about 4-5 cities in 3 different countries in 2 weeks around the same age, theirs sounds mental. I'll be genuinely surprised if all of them complete that, and even more surprised if they can still distinguish similar cities 3 years later.

nameXname · 31/01/2024 18:19

Sounds fantastic - I hope they have a wonderful time.

The last time I went Interrailing I was in my 60s and my DH was older. (There are older age discounts.) It's a great opportunity to see new places and meet new people and to polish/revive language skills. I still remember long conversation (in French, our only common tongue) with a retired Slovak teacher of about my age on a 5-hour journey across beautiful rural Slovakia. Educational in so many ways. And a charming young Ukrainian man who carried our luggage up steep flights of steps at our destination. NB Many stations - especially in rural areas - do not have escalators. Etc etc etc...

As others have said, PLEASE encourage him to get decent health/travel insurance. Not just the card - you need more. At his age it should be cheap.

Yes indeed to travel money card and to the cheapest roaming phone connection.

Yes indeed to travelling as light as possible, and planning to wash clothes en route. Many trains do not have much luggage space, and it's a real bore to have to carry too much around, anyway. Aim to always have one - ideally both - hands free. That means backpack and just perhaps one smaller bag-in-hand. For extras- eg picnic lunch - en route, a strong but roll-up-into-a-ball nylon bag is very helpful. I have one of these, but many many others are available: https://www.reisenthel.com/en/mini-maxi-shopper-AT-V-black-7003?c=199100000

Make sure all his tech stuff can be connected to Euro voltages to be recharged.. He'll need the right sort of adaptor - I'm sure he'll know more about this than me but it is very important.

In summer many/most long distance trains can be very, very crowded. For longer journeys, I'd strongly recommend getting seat reservations. Book in advance, for a few Euros. Some trains even insist on seat reservations. I expect your son knows this already but he can check the details of ALL trains across Europe here - a fabulous resource: https://www.oebb.at/en/fahrplan

Most European stations give out information rather differently from those in the UK. There will probably be a big central concourse indicator. And blurry announcements in two or three languages. But that's sometimes not enough. At big stations, each platform will usually have a display board showing all the trains scheduled to stop there and how they will be configured - ie where is first class, where are the standard coaches, and, if you have a reserved seat, where that will be etc etc . They will also show at which end of the - often very, very long - platform each train is scheduled to stop. (Some international trains have many coaches and it is sometimes not possible to walk, once on the trains, from one set of carriages to another.) Sometimes this sort of information does not matter; sometimes it does.

As previous poster has said, it might be handy to have access to the offline 'Bible', just in case there are connectivity problems en route: https://www.europeanrailtimetable.eu/

Station and public loos generally charge 50 centimes, so have some change at all times.

This website is ultra geeky, but possibly worth checking out: https://www.seat61.com/european-train-travel.htm Thankfully, DH and I have never had to use it but it might just possibly be useful one day.

PieAndLattes · 31/01/2024 18:23

They’ll be absolutely fine. They can sleep on trains, have some lazy days, and they’ll have proper beds to sleep in. I’m 55 and I’d happily still do it!

BlueGrey1 · 31/01/2024 18:42

I would mention it but expect that they wouldn’t take any notice then I would just leave them at it, they probably will be exhausted ( especially if they are going out at night a lot) but they will see a lot

I think most people end up exhausted after these kind of trips but don’t regret it

Cyclistmumgrandma · 31/01/2024 19:26

@hudpat The bits I really wouldn't have missed were,

  1. watching grizzly bears with their cubs hunting and eating salmon (boat trip from Campbell River with westcoastgrizzlybeartours.com on Vancouver Island)
  2. three days and three nights by Via Train in a sleeper cabin Toronto to Jasper
  3. Niagara falls Good luck, hope you have fun.
Cyclistmumgrandma · 31/01/2024 19:28

@hudpat sorry, missed the 'what wasn't that great?' Surprisingly the Rocky Mountaineer was good, but we enjoyed the Via more!

hudpat · 31/01/2024 19:30

Cyclistmumgrandma · 31/01/2024 19:26

@hudpat The bits I really wouldn't have missed were,

  1. watching grizzly bears with their cubs hunting and eating salmon (boat trip from Campbell River with westcoastgrizzlybeartours.com on Vancouver Island)
  2. three days and three nights by Via Train in a sleeper cabin Toronto to Jasper
  3. Niagara falls Good luck, hope you have fun.

That's great thank you! I have booked from Toronto to Jasper and then from Jasper to Vancouver with Via Rail.
I will look at the Grizzly Bear tours!
And I wondered about Niagara - whether it was worth it!

Green321 · 31/01/2024 19:31

They’ll have a ball! It sounds like an exciting adventure. Sure, exhausting! But fun. He’ll figure it out!

ThinkingAgainAndAgain · 31/01/2024 19:37

Sounds fantastic. The practical part of me would wonder how he will do his laundry though - wash and dry?

asrarpolar · 31/01/2024 19:41

When I went inter railing I washed t shirts and underwear in the sink and hung them up to dry over night. If you are in hot countries they will dry.

shreknjumps · 31/01/2024 19:45

He'll do laundry at the laundrette or in the hostel 😂

All this "gentle, oh gosh" and "exhaustion", it's no wonder kids these days are so fucking wet.

OP, he'll have a fab time, it's about 12 minutes between Verona and Lake Garda. Hardly exhausting and they'll have their things permanently packed up anyway.

18 year olds don't need days and days to "soak up the atmosphere"

MereDintofPandiculation · 31/01/2024 19:47

sparepantsandtoothbrush · 30/01/2024 16:09

I'd be knackered doing all of that but I'm not 18!

You're right. Just leave them to it. They'll have a great time

I organised a trip for DH and I (60s) and thought I was ridiculously pandering to our age to allow 2nights in each location.

They’ll be fine!

MereDintofPandiculation · 31/01/2024 19:53

When you're spending more time travelling than actually seeing places, that's when people start falling out because it's boring and tiring. But they’re not doing this! They’re travelling 4hrs or less each day, and about half the days theyre not travelling at all.

pinkspeakers · 31/01/2024 19:58

Sounds great! If they are having 2-3 days in each place and never travelling more than 4 hours (often much less) then it isn't that crazy. And even if you think it is too much, I entirely agree that you should leave them to it.

pinkspeakers · 31/01/2024 20:07

MumblesParty · 30/01/2024 17:29

I wouldn’t be so concerned about the travel and tiredness, but I would suggest they re-think the pre booked hotels, or at least some of them. Unless they are very specific about which places they want to go to.

I went inter-railing at 18 and we started off by heading to Venice, but had no fixed plans beyond that. We found that wherever we went, we met groups of people, made friends, travelled with them for a bit, then met more people, travelled with them, and so on. Seasoned travellers that we met recommended places to us, so we went there. We stayed a couple of nights with someone’s family who we met in Amsterdam, and someone else in Zurich. We slept in a campsite in Greece that someone we met in Italy worked at sometimes, so got a cheap deal.

Basically it wouldn’t have been half as much fun if we’d had a fixed itinerary that we’d had to stick to, because of pre-booked hotels. So whilst it’s up to your son and his friends what they do, I would probably mention that they might not want to be tied down.

I assume this was a while ago? I'd love to travel without pre-booking accommodation, but I think that these days, travelling around Europe in the summer, it would be quite risky not to pre-book accommodation. Things get full! Back in my teens/twenties there was no quick and easy way to make international hotel bookings, so people didn't generally do it, and there was rarely a problem. But now more people travel and almost everyone books. It could be really stressful having to search for accommodation every night.

Good to have free cancellation if possible so you have the option of changing your plans, but I'd encourage booking in busy places.

nameXname · 31/01/2024 20:15

I'd agree forcefully with @pinkspeakers In summer, in popular places in Europe, booking really is very strongly advisable, especially for places such as hostels. In the pretty far distant past, like other posters, I've slept in parks etc, but today (a) many parks - and indeed railway stations - are locked at night and (b) they are no longer the safe spaces they once were. I have no recent first-hand experience of beaches, but I should not be surprised if they're no longer as safe as they once were, either.

M103 · 31/01/2024 20:23

I wish I was 18 and could join him!! He seems more organised than I was when I was 18. I don't remember booking hostels ahead when I was young,

Hocuspocusnonsense · 31/01/2024 21:22

I don't think there’s anything wrong with ‘advising’ him. He can take your advice or ignore it. I wish someone had advised me how expensive and vast Australia was!

AnglepoisePond · 31/01/2024 22:08

nameXname · 31/01/2024 20:15

I'd agree forcefully with @pinkspeakers In summer, in popular places in Europe, booking really is very strongly advisable, especially for places such as hostels. In the pretty far distant past, like other posters, I've slept in parks etc, but today (a) many parks - and indeed railway stations - are locked at night and (b) they are no longer the safe spaces they once were. I have no recent first-hand experience of beaches, but I should not be surprised if they're no longer as safe as they once were, either.

They definitely weren’t safe then, either, and we once woke up in a park in Rome being hosed with water by the police (which admittedly, was the closest we’d got to a wash in a while) and nearly starved in Berlin but for being fed by some Hare Krishnas on the street. I think I had fleas.

I would definitely not do some of the things we did in 1989 again, but having mobiles means that lots of the ‘hanging round a random bar in Paris hoping that the guy you met in Munich meant it when he said he’d let you crash in his place…’ doesn’t happen. Likewise the paper copy of Thomas Cook.

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