Thinking DS' travel itinerary is none of our business

[WelshMeg]

DS is 18, he's going inter-railing in the summer 6 weeks or so all in, with 5 friends.
Last night he was talking about his itinerary, they have decided to pre-book all their hostels as apparently it's not uncommon in some places to be unable to get a room.
In the 48 days I think it is they are travelling they have booked for 20 different cities. They aren't doing any massive travel days but some are more complicated than others (like getting from Lake Bled to Trieste or having to get a boat across Lake Como to get to the hostel) but generally they aren't travelling more than 4 hours in a day and there are quite alot of 1/2 hour journeys like Venice - Lake Garda - Milan, Lausanne - Geneva etc.
DH thinks they will be exhausted, I think yeah they probably will be but it's not our business and leave them to figure it out?
They are staying 2-3 nights in each place (maybe one place is a one night stay but I think it's because of trains).
AIBU thinking it's not our business and we shouldn't warn him? Or should we suggest they change it up so they aren't moving so quickly all the time.

Your DH is just being a caring, involved father. Why wouldn’t he? Of course your DS is free not to take any advice or loving concern, but at least he will have had it.

They'll be absolutely fine. When my now husband and I went interrailing age 21, we visited 17 cities in a month and we alternated one night in a hostel and one night sleeping on a night train to save money. I say this tongue in cheek but I'd be more concerned he's blowing the budget on all that accommodation and wasting valuable holiday time travelling if they're doing all the trains during the day! Best to leave him to it.

Sounds like a fantastic trip. So frustrating that Brexit removed the free inter-rail tickets for British 18 year olds.

I think you’re right OP, just leave him to it. As long as you know where he is and when, he has a good insurance policy, you have a plan in place should he need to access emergency funds and he’s in contact so you can help should there be an emergency then it’s all good.

I always do this on holiday and it is fine. I try not to do too many 1 nights as they are too short. 3 nights can seem a bit long in some places. I enjoy the journeying otherwise it would be less fun. Plenty of people do this, although fewer from the UK than other nationalities.

Let him crack on. The hostel bookings will be amendable.

That’s what we did, plus we were busking for food, as we were skint! It was excellent.

I love a sleeper train, but not every night for weeks!

Leave him to it. I did similar at 18 and it was fab. I did similar at 27 and was knackered and vowed never again!!!

He'll be fine, I did a similar trip in 2016. Most places we stayed in 2-3 days, a few places were overnight or day trips. There will be issues and delays but that's up for them to deal with and is all part of the adventure!

We weren’t usually in a sleeper — we were skint! We slept sitting up in ordinary seats, or in those seats you could pull out to make a flat surface, or in those Cabine 8 set-ups they used to have on French trains. We also slept in parks and on beaches. It was pretty rough, but wonderful.

He will be fine - they can cat nap on trains. They seem pretty organised and it sounds absolutely amazing, I hope he has a fabulous time!

I'm in my 30s and currently planning a 3-week trip that has 1-3 nights in most places, with train travel between them - most of my holidays are like this and your DS' trip sounds fab to me! The boats around Como are very easy to navigate and a half-hour train is basically commute-length. Presumably if they do get exhausted they'll just spend time relaxing, and some of those destinations are very easy to have a chilled day.
He's been organised enough to figure out to book hostels so leave him to it - bigger worry imo is potential fall-outs within the group or budget issues.

I did the same at his age. It was knackering but in a good way. I did so much walking though. I recommend Boots witch hazel footspray. My feet ached so much.

I'd have done all that and come back ready to party without breaking a sweat at 18, now by day 4 I'd be hospitalised. Your energy levels and responsibilities are so different that he'll probably manage it fine and if not it'll still be memories of when he could give something like that a go. I'd be ready at home to help if asked but stay out of it otherwise.

I don't really understand why this should be a discussion. If someone is presenting their itinerary it would be totally natural to say something like "wow, that's a lot" in a casual conversation without it needing to be a discussion that you ponder.

If the situation presents it self say something but if not. Then leave them be.

I don't think it's as tiring as it sounds. When I'm travelling, I have what feels like endless bags, things I need etc. I struggle to sleep on trains/busses/planes. Of course, I'm also carting around young children.

At that age, it's a backpack and you're with friends. It's actually very chilled. There's a lot of sitting around chatting with friends and resting between things. They move more slowly because they're not trying to pack in every sight etc.

I think it will be fine. Also, I would imagine that many of these bookings could be changed if necessary so they could probably work in a bit of wriggle room if they really needed to.

It sounds absolutely fantastic. They will no doubt miss at least 1 train or connection or want to stay longer in a place or two. Having to sort out new logistics will just add to their adventure.
I think you’d be better off setting aside a contingency fund for him or telling him that he needs to set x amount aside for if he misses a connection or needs to move hostels etc.

I think it would be nice if you could pay an interest as his DM! My own DM was equally as disinterested in both my travelling escapades and my day to day life and it really hurt. Still does. She's still exactly the same.

I'd check they've allotted some to visit a laundry occasionally, and have sorted a Travel Money card rather than just cash.
Post Office do a good one, it's not linked to bank accounts so fraudulent use can't get out of hand and in an emergency you can also top it up remotely
Plus insurance. It's mind boggling how many people travel without it. My brother went travelling/working with mates for 3 months over the summer after he finished school and had all his cash stolen in his first week. Not insured and no job as yet. Had to come home.

I think it sounds like they are very sensible. They have planned and budgeted a complicated trip by themselves at a fairly young age. I also think at 18 they won't find it tiring.

I'm 64. By the time I go on holiday this year I'll be 65. We taking a very basic campervan round Iceland for a couple of weeks. 2 years ago we did a camping road trip through Africa. If we old fogies can cope I'm sure a 19yo will be fine.

It will be fine.
He's 18.
If they are staying 2-3 nights in a lot of the places then they do have time to have a more relaxed day if they are tired.
I still travel a lot, late 40s, and I usually have a sleep for a couple of hours in the afternoon when I arrive somewhere if I feel the need.
If they find it is all too much they can change their plans a bit and that's part of the adventure of travelling.
He might need to think about alternative plans if he's travelling through Germany and the train drivers go on strike again. They were on strike this week for 4-5 days and it's a right pain. It isn't the first strike either and won't be the last.
I'd give him some tips for dealing with things like that rather than concerning yourself with the itinerary.

I wouldn't be exhausted from all that at 18 just hyped from the excitement

Sounds totally fine. I did similar in my 20s, and again in my 30s. Not a problem at all.

I don't find travelling on a train tiring. Travelling with my children can be a bit stressful, but travelling on my own is just sitting down reading a book! 😕