Picking up teen DD16

[Flyhigher]

DD 16 says I have to text when I arrive to pick her up in such a rude way. She berated me over it.

Question - does everyone text to say they have arrived to pick up their DC's?

Even it's bang on the agreed time?
Husband says yes.

I do a lot of the time. But this time I said 6pm. Arrived at 6pm didn't text.

Was I reasonable or not?

I always text when I pull up in the car. It works for me.

I don't think you sound like you were rude.

I text when I leave home and then again when I've arrived at the pick up point. I still end up hanging around most times.

I spend my life texting her. I text before knocking on her bedroom door as she takes forever to answer!

Like several others. If she were coming out of a class / training / meeting that ended at a specific time, and everyone was leaving then, I wouldn't. I mean, she'd be coming out of the building anyway, and then would see me.

But if I were collecting from friend's house / party / meal out / (when older) the pub then I would, as she might as well stay chatting in the warm until I get there.

No big deal either way.

@catscalledbeanz I guess so.
But I texted at 5.50. To say 6pm. I got there at 6.
I was half a mile away. She does this every Monday.

She texted me at 6.05. She was late. I didn't get difficult. She did.

Modern parenting is just so hard.

You drive them everywhere they can't be bothered even coming out of a house to look for you at a set time.

Is she very polite and nice to you?
Looks like everyone texts all the time. Thanks!

She’s got no right to be rude to you. Why is she so spoilt?

I don't normally text. I arrive on time and wait, DS is normally ready and appears within a minute or two.

I would text if no sign after 10 minutes.

I text. But I also don’t tolerate rudeness. Two separate issues. If she wanted you to text then she could have raised it politely.

Your daughter is an odd hormonal child. No need for the hand wringing here. You texted to say you would be there and you arrived. In one ear and out the other. Don’t do any more pick ups.

I always txt if I pick them up. My teens always txt me when they arrive somewhere and when they are on their way back. It's called manners and works both ways.

Not always. For instance on Friday eve I texted ‘just arrived in town to do my food shop, I’ll be there by 9’. This was at 8:15.

If I’m someone at an agreed time I wouldn’t text routinely.

Yep I always text when I’m outside. Even if we’ve agreed on a time you never know what the traffic will be like etc. Saves them waiting in the cold or having to keep popping out to check. Saves me sitting in the car wondering why they haven’t come out.

No, they've always used discord for everything.

One child wouldn't need text messages, but the other wants a running commentry including when there. Can't figure out if hers is an aspergers thing or anxiety...but I just work with what i've got lol.

I always text and I'm at the tail end of gen x. It just seems polite.

YABU she was at a tutor’s house, not partying or vaping in the park! It is good communication to text. My mother is an 80yr old technophobe but she texts me when she arrives at the station (I visit her by train) as she doesn’t want me standing out in wind/cold/rain. I often do stand out and wait for her, but it is also nice that she texts me. I can’t imagine her sitting out there stewing over the fact I haven’t dashed out to meet her.

This is ridiculous, of course you weren't unreasonable op. Was she just going to stay at the tutors house all night? My dd has to leave on time as the next group turn up. Why on earth would you need to text if you are outside at the agreed time. I might text my ds if I've had to park somewhere that isn't obvious like in an overflow carpark but that's just so he can find me. Or I might text if I've been sat there a a while and I'm fed up of waiting. Tell your dd and dhnot to be so rude to you or you will withdraw your taxi services.

🤣🤣🤣

😢 yes. It's hard.

Ok. What's wrong with ringing? It's sad how we text so much now.

I’d only text if she wasn’t there waiting for me. If you’re picking up someone, they need to be in the agreed place at the agreed time, no?

You text her at 5.45 that's enough. Next time I wouldn't both texting at all and I'd psychically go and retrieve her from what ever venue she is in.

My dd use to expect this and then would start to get shoes on say goodbye etc after I text so I'd be sat waiting 10 minutes!

I said if she wasn't out within 5 minutes of receiving text I would leave!

Just get into the habit of texting. It's part of keeping open communication with your teen.

It isn’t impossible to text while driving, in fact I use my commute to catch up on texts- if my phone is plugged into my car via a USB cable or connected via Bluetooth (in order to play music or my audiobook) then all I have to do is tap to WhatsApp icon (on the dashboard, not the phone) and the car will ask if I want to read my messages or send a message, I speak back to it, tell it who I want to text, compose the text verbally, tell it to send, job done. This is a 2016 Citroen so not fancy.