To keep my day off when dd goes to school

[MommaTonda]

I have a 6 and a 4 year old (dd1 and dd2) and I currently work 22.5 hours a week. This allows me to do school & pre-school drop offs and pickups most days (grandparents have dd2 on a Monday and pick up dd2 from school so I can work a full day).

I have Friday's off work which I spend looking after my 4 year old. She is going to school in September.

My and DH's best friend's had a similar setup and when their 4 year old went to school, mum carried on having Friday's off work. The agreement was that she would spend this day catching up with house admin but the reality is that she does a little house admin (maybe an hour) and then enjoys her day. Mainly by meeting me and dd2 for lunch etc. Her husband says it's unfair and it's the only thing they argue about.

I would very much like to continue having Friday's off when dd2 goes to school and my friend and I talk about doing the same as she does now. House admin for an hour or two then maybe gym / lunch etc.

My DH doesn't have the opportunity to work part time in his job. I don't earn a lot so working the extra day wouldn't bring in a lot of extra money.

AIBU to continue having Friday's off when dd2 starts school? Has anyone else had a similar experience? Just looking for opinions before I broach the subject with him!

My youngest starts school in Sept and I intend to keep my part time hours, also 22.5 per week. It's all very well people saying you can move to full time etc but you still need to consider holiday cover so unless I really need to financially then I won't. I do probably 99% of everything to do with the kids and carry most of the mental load so I don't feel guilty.

DS is 16, I only work 4 days and certainly don't spend my Fridays doing housework or life admin 😂

Don't get me wrong, I do some things but the majority of the day I meet friends, go for long walks, lunches and off on my bike.

I even occasionally do a spa day 😂

Will you let your husband have the equivalent time off to himself?

I predict the answer will be that they can’t afford it…

I think if you can afford it then it’s fine! But I do think your DH should have the option of going part time in the future if the opportunity allows it / circumstances change

I have one day a week and mine are at sixth form!!
I do loads of " house things". (And lots for me too !)

I kept my day off and do cleaning, food shop and a gym class. I do t get to go to the gym or have many evenings out as my DH gyms a little so I think it’s only fair. DH has commented in the past but I do all the school drop off and pick ups and all the cooking and said if I go back full time then he will need to share all of that. Funnily enough he went quiet.

Wow. I was NOT expecting so many replies! How interesting!!

To answer a few:
Housework - I do more, simply because I'm home more (I do a few short days in the week so I can put laundry on after school pickup etc).
Life admin - DH does things like booking the car for MOT, sorting house / car insurance, booking boiler service etc. So important things but not everyday things.
Mental load - This is almost entirely on me (through choice). Sorting the kids clubs, taking them to dance / swimming, making sure they have packed lunches sorted, knowing when the school events are happening, organising playdates / birthday parties / presents / clothes etc. It did get quite overwhelming at Christmas time as there was so much to sort and organise.
Food shopping is me.
Cooking dinner is 80% dh (he enjoys it).

Yes we can afford it. I would be working the same number of hours I am now and I won't be paying for preschool.

Someone mentioned working the day so that the grandparents didn't have to have the kids on a Monday. The grandparents LOVE having the kids. They'd be devastated! They often offer to have the kids on my day off because they love having them (yes I do know how lucky I am in this respect)! Also it would only be 3pm - 5.30pm when dd2 goes to school.

DH doesn't want to work 4 days. He has a new job that he loves.

I will see if he wants time to himself at the weekend to make up for it but to be honest he doesn't see the kids as much in the week and the weekends he loves to spend time with them as much as poss!

Thanks everyone for your replies! It's given me a lot to think about before I broach the subject with him! I'm sure he'd be happy with me continuing to have my day off and I would definitely use a bit of the day to do some tidying / laundry but the rest of the day would be spent crocheting / gymming / lunching! 😆

I would definitely keep the day off. I work 3 days a week now with my preschoolers and when they are both at school will not be working 5 days. Maybe 4 but that extra day I hope will be ad-hoc, overtime etc rather than permanent to give a bit more freedom.
It will mean you can have more family time at the weekend if you can get a bit of the boring stuff done on Fridays, plus enjoy yourself too. Just be careful you don't end up seeing it as your day to do all the housework and admin then before you know it, it's 3pm and school pick up time.

Pretty much identical arrangement in our household. It works perfectly. I suppose the odd day off is used for socialising, hair & nail type stuff but tbh its the day i use to ensure the house gets ready for the week ahead. I top to bottom the house, get on top of washing and take care of household bills.

Ive done it since our first child 21 years ago and i will never go back to a full week unless the household income can pay for someone to come in and do the same amount of work to free up my time.

It frees up the weekends for family time. Rinse and repeat.

Lots of people have mentioned keeping the day free for life admin, shopping, the odd lunch etc. Not sure if anyone has mentioned how useful it is to have a spare day free to swap work so you can go to the school play, sports day, go on the school trip as a parent helper etc, or for when the kids come down with illness and can't go to school. All that flexibility is invaluable and I still have a non-working day now that mine is in college.

Absolutely not unreasonable at all. Working and looking after small children is very draining and we all need adult time to rest and recharge. If you can afford it then why not??

And to be fair it’s not even a fully day. School is only 6.5 hours a day.

Sure you know how to run your home, but I’d make an extra effort half an hour every other week night doing cleaning and all that stuff so I could have Friday as free time.

I predict the answer is he has, and has maintained all along, a more than equivalent time off, across evenings, weekends, early mornings, when the family is on holidays…

I'm actually just discovering this too now my son's in Reception, and it will be invaluable. My work are fine with me swapping days (I have checked), so I can use holiday club on Fridays when it's less busy, or if they have an activity on I know he'll prefer to one of my usual working days.

And yes, having that day at the end of the week when they're knackered and more likely to get ill was so useful in the peak nursery illness period.

That sounds delightful! I used to have a Wednesday off each week, no kids for me, was just nice working 4 longer days and having a day to myself with exH out of the house.

Do it, am rather jealous!