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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not want a tongue in my mouth at random times throughout the day

90 replies

Nena1989x · 29/01/2024 14:53

DP's, to be precise.

For example: If he's nipping out somewhere he gives me a kiss before he goes. I'm not talking about a peck on the lips as you'd expect when saying bye, a full on snog.. tongue and all.

I'm no prude, but It can be annoying if I'm eating/drinking at the time, about to or otherwise distracted. It's one thing when you're cuddled up in bed or whatever, but at random moments throughout the day such as when i'm trying to do something.. it's a bit much.

Would you be happy with this or does it feel a bit out of touch?

OP posts:
KreedKafer · 29/01/2024 14:56

Yes, I think of a full snog as a sex-related thing, rather than casual affection/greetings/whatever. I'd say DP and I kiss each other quite a lot but it's not usually tongues when we're just pottering around the house!

Oneofthesurvivors · 29/01/2024 14:57

So tell him.

MonsteraMama · 29/01/2024 14:57

I love a good snog from DH, my only caveat being not when either of us has just eaten. But I love it.

But if you don't like it you need to tell him that. Just explain you'd rather save that kind of kissing for more intimate moments than just popping the shops. He's your partner, you should be able to talk about these things!

DGPP · 29/01/2024 14:59

urgh, I only Like that sort of kissing when in the mood.. in bed!

TheOriginalEmu · 29/01/2024 15:01

I thought this was going to be someone else who gets annoyed at their own tongue, and now I’m disappointed. (And feel even weirder).

but to your problem…tell him to stop it! It’s not unreasonable to not want to be snogged when you have a gob full of Food.

Chersfrozenface · 29/01/2024 15:07

Is it a territory marking thing? "I'm going out and while I'm gone don't forget you belong to me"? If so, eugh.

Or is it "I'm so sexy I just want you to be thinking of my sexiness all the time I'm gone"? Again, eugh.

RainbowZebraWarrior · 29/01/2024 15:10

Urgh. I'd have to tell him (my reaction would likely be a giveaway anyway)

I thought this was going to be about an over excitable puppy.

IncompleteSenten · 29/01/2024 15:13

urgh. If my husband did that to me I'd be tempted to bite the fucker!

For me though, the maximum number of tongues allowed in my mouth is one. Get 2 and it feels like a pair of wrestling slugs. I realise this is extreme but i find it repugnant.

So yanbu. at all. imo.

DarlingDoggo · 29/01/2024 15:14

I thought this was going to be someone else who gets annoyed at their own tongue, and now I’m disappointed. (And feel even weirder).

Sorry but that made me laugh. 🤣

GanninHyem · 29/01/2024 15:16

Oneofthesurvivors · 29/01/2024 14:57

So tell him.

Don't come to MN with sensible suggestions. The only clear option is to LBT or chop off his tongue

Idratherbepaddleboarding · 29/01/2024 15:17

TBH I find the whole concept of kissing with tongues very odd and I’d rather not do it at all! DH can be like that and I really can’t be arsed.

Sapphire387 · 29/01/2024 15:18

I like it. We're all different. Are you compatible in other ways?

JerkintheMerkin · 29/01/2024 15:19

If he persists maybe a transference of munched on peanuts might put him off (allergies aside) Grin

DarlingDoggo · 29/01/2024 15:22

I like it. We're all different. Are you compatible in other ways?

You like being interrupted no matter what you’re doing at the time? 🙄

EbonyRaven · 29/01/2024 15:23

Urgh how annoying. My DH has spells like this. Some days - a few times a day, when I get up to go for a pee, he gets up, reaches his arms out like a toddler and goes 'wah wah. kiss!' and blocks my way and won't let me past until I fucking kiss him. And he holds me tightly and squeezes me, and won't let go. 'Get outta that' he says 'go on! Get outta that!' Grin He thinks it's endearing and loveable, but in actual fact, it is bastard annoying and drives me mad.

Last time he did it, I said 'for fuck's sake I need a PISS! I am getting up to have a PISS, not to hug and kiss you!' Cue a 4 hour long sulk because I rebuffed him.

Also, he sometimes tries to keep me back when I am going off to the kitchen for a glass of water, or again going for a pee, and says 'look at this...' pointing to something on his phone or laptop. I am leaving the room but his desire to show me some shit he looking at trumps my desire to leave the room (apparently!)

I have actually started to just leave the room anyway now, and ignore his pleas to stop and come and look at what HE wants me to look at. He says 'oi I was talking to you.' I have started saying 'I told you I was leaving the fucking room! WAIT tilI come back in!'

ALSO when I complain about the hug hug hug kiss kiss kiss mwah... bullshit, he says 'can't I even kiss and hug my own WIFE now?' with THIS face > Confused

Sometimes men (husbands) think that their wives are possessions for them to order about and possess, and touch when they want. WE are here to remind them, that they are fucking wrong!

As has been said, it's a marking their territory/you belong to ME thing.

RainbowZebraWarrior · 29/01/2024 15:25

JerkintheMerkin · 29/01/2024 15:19

If he persists maybe a transference of munched on peanuts might put him off (allergies aside) Grin

😆 'Transference of munched on peanuts' I love it.

Springcleaninginsummer · 29/01/2024 15:28

EbonyRaven · 29/01/2024 15:23

Urgh how annoying. My DH has spells like this. Some days - a few times a day, when I get up to go for a pee, he gets up, reaches his arms out like a toddler and goes 'wah wah. kiss!' and blocks my way and won't let me past until I fucking kiss him. And he holds me tightly and squeezes me, and won't let go. 'Get outta that' he says 'go on! Get outta that!' Grin He thinks it's endearing and loveable, but in actual fact, it is bastard annoying and drives me mad.

Last time he did it, I said 'for fuck's sake I need a PISS! I am getting up to have a PISS, not to hug and kiss you!' Cue a 4 hour long sulk because I rebuffed him.

Also, he sometimes tries to keep me back when I am going off to the kitchen for a glass of water, or again going for a pee, and says 'look at this...' pointing to something on his phone or laptop. I am leaving the room but his desire to show me some shit he looking at trumps my desire to leave the room (apparently!)

I have actually started to just leave the room anyway now, and ignore his pleas to stop and come and look at what HE wants me to look at. He says 'oi I was talking to you.' I have started saying 'I told you I was leaving the fucking room! WAIT tilI come back in!'

ALSO when I complain about the hug hug hug kiss kiss kiss mwah... bullshit, he says 'can't I even kiss and hug my own WIFE now?' with THIS face > Confused

Sometimes men (husbands) think that their wives are possessions for them to order about and possess, and touch when they want. WE are here to remind them, that they are fucking wrong!

As has been said, it's a marking their territory/you belong to ME thing.

What a revolting toddler he is. I would drop him back at his mother's and ask her to finish the job before she sends him back to you.

Notalwaysthismean · 29/01/2024 15:32

EbonyRaven · 29/01/2024 15:23

Urgh how annoying. My DH has spells like this. Some days - a few times a day, when I get up to go for a pee, he gets up, reaches his arms out like a toddler and goes 'wah wah. kiss!' and blocks my way and won't let me past until I fucking kiss him. And he holds me tightly and squeezes me, and won't let go. 'Get outta that' he says 'go on! Get outta that!' Grin He thinks it's endearing and loveable, but in actual fact, it is bastard annoying and drives me mad.

Last time he did it, I said 'for fuck's sake I need a PISS! I am getting up to have a PISS, not to hug and kiss you!' Cue a 4 hour long sulk because I rebuffed him.

Also, he sometimes tries to keep me back when I am going off to the kitchen for a glass of water, or again going for a pee, and says 'look at this...' pointing to something on his phone or laptop. I am leaving the room but his desire to show me some shit he looking at trumps my desire to leave the room (apparently!)

I have actually started to just leave the room anyway now, and ignore his pleas to stop and come and look at what HE wants me to look at. He says 'oi I was talking to you.' I have started saying 'I told you I was leaving the fucking room! WAIT tilI come back in!'

ALSO when I complain about the hug hug hug kiss kiss kiss mwah... bullshit, he says 'can't I even kiss and hug my own WIFE now?' with THIS face > Confused

Sometimes men (husbands) think that their wives are possessions for them to order about and possess, and touch when they want. WE are here to remind them, that they are fucking wrong!

As has been said, it's a marking their territory/you belong to ME thing.

OMFG, this is the most unattractive account of an otherwise decent nan I think I’ve ever read 😂

MorningSunshineSparkles · 29/01/2024 15:33

@EbonyRaven how are you in a relationship with someone that says “wah wah kiss!” without getting the ick so bad you kick him out there and then??? That’s fucking weird and he clearly has mummy issues 🤢

Original poster
Nena1989x · 29/01/2024 15:34

Glad to see I'm not alone in my thinking!

I will say something.

I think as PP suggested it's supposed to turn me on or something. It does the opposite. Men are strange.

OP posts:
Dweetfidilove · 29/01/2024 15:35

YABU for making me think you’re fed up of having your own tongue in your mouth 🤦🏾‍♀️.

Seriously though - that would annoy me too. Do you ever ‘lock him out’? What does he do / say then?

TaRaChuck · 29/01/2024 15:35

TheOriginalEmu · 29/01/2024 15:01

I thought this was going to be someone else who gets annoyed at their own tongue, and now I’m disappointed. (And feel even weirder).

but to your problem…tell him to stop it! It’s not unreasonable to not want to be snogged when you have a gob full of Food.

I thought this was going to be someone else who gets annoyed at their own tongue, and now I’m disappointed.

I really want to know more. Are you saying your tongue annoys you? Why does it annoy you? I'm asking because sometimes I think about my tongue just being there in my mouth - just lying around - and then I get really hyper aware of it and it then feels out of place, like I don't know where it should be: hovering in mid air (mid mouth?), pressed against the roof of my mouth, or resting just behind my bottom teeth. So then I put it in one of those areas, and then my tongue feels fake, like it like almost doesn't belong, and it's a bit awkward. So I agree that tongues can feel weird, but I don't think mine has ever annoyed me.

(Sorry to the OP for going off topic somewhat)

KeepSmiling89 · 29/01/2024 15:36

My ex husband was like this!

@EbonyRaven I told my ex I was 'setting boundaries' when I wasn't in the mood for being intimate...he said there shouldn't be boundaries between husband and wife...
...
...
We've been separated nearly a year now because of emotional abuse and coercive control and I'm applying for a divorce as well. Just be careful!

PolitePeep · 29/01/2024 15:39

I'm with you OP.

Married 15 years, together 22.

Our tongues only touch when it's sexy kissing. So could be that we have a cheeky snog in the day as a sort of promise for later, but most often it's in bed that we kiss with tongues.

Hello/goodbye/just a kiss because we love each other is a standard normal quick kiss.

KreedKafer · 29/01/2024 15:41

Some days - a few times a day, when I get up to go for a pee, he gets up, reaches his arms out like a toddler and goes 'wah wah. kiss!'

I think that if my DP behaved like this my fanny would snap shut like a bulldog clip and then seal itself closed forever, never to be prised open again.