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Original poster

To not want a tongue in my mouth at random times throughout the day

90 replies

Nena1989x · 29/01/2024 14:53

DP's, to be precise.

For example: If he's nipping out somewhere he gives me a kiss before he goes. I'm not talking about a peck on the lips as you'd expect when saying bye, a full on snog.. tongue and all.

I'm no prude, but It can be annoying if I'm eating/drinking at the time, about to or otherwise distracted. It's one thing when you're cuddled up in bed or whatever, but at random moments throughout the day such as when i'm trying to do something.. it's a bit much.

Would you be happy with this or does it feel a bit out of touch?

OP posts:
Somatosensational · 29/01/2024 18:48

EbonyRaven · 29/01/2024 15:23

Urgh how annoying. My DH has spells like this. Some days - a few times a day, when I get up to go for a pee, he gets up, reaches his arms out like a toddler and goes 'wah wah. kiss!' and blocks my way and won't let me past until I fucking kiss him. And he holds me tightly and squeezes me, and won't let go. 'Get outta that' he says 'go on! Get outta that!' Grin He thinks it's endearing and loveable, but in actual fact, it is bastard annoying and drives me mad.

Last time he did it, I said 'for fuck's sake I need a PISS! I am getting up to have a PISS, not to hug and kiss you!' Cue a 4 hour long sulk because I rebuffed him.

Also, he sometimes tries to keep me back when I am going off to the kitchen for a glass of water, or again going for a pee, and says 'look at this...' pointing to something on his phone or laptop. I am leaving the room but his desire to show me some shit he looking at trumps my desire to leave the room (apparently!)

I have actually started to just leave the room anyway now, and ignore his pleas to stop and come and look at what HE wants me to look at. He says 'oi I was talking to you.' I have started saying 'I told you I was leaving the fucking room! WAIT tilI come back in!'

ALSO when I complain about the hug hug hug kiss kiss kiss mwah... bullshit, he says 'can't I even kiss and hug my own WIFE now?' with THIS face > Confused

Sometimes men (husbands) think that their wives are possessions for them to order about and possess, and touch when they want. WE are here to remind them, that they are fucking wrong!

As has been said, it's a marking their territory/you belong to ME thing.

WTAF

Blueirishrock · 30/01/2024 15:09

BardRelic · 29/01/2024 18:38

@Blueirishrock I'm actually finding parts of this thread really disturbing. It's the casual acceptance that there's some kind of inevitability about this kind of treatment - not just the pawing but the sulking when it's not tolerated. Fuck that. And it's not about differences in preferences. It's the idea that men will just be like this and women are always fighting some kind of battle against it.

I'm very glad that my DP is so respectful of my boundaries but I'm also aware that that should be the baseline for a relationship, not some sort of glorious exception.

I agree.

Especially this.

It's the idea that men will just be like this and women are always fighting some kind of battle against it

There's clearly this mentality amongst some women. Take the disturbingly regularly threads about drunk men pissing in their own house (and not in a toilet). And there are always women who come onto those threads who clearly state that men are just like that and that's what they do.

IheartNiles · 30/01/2024 15:11

I thought this was going to be about a dog.

Trappedandunhappy · 30/01/2024 15:12

TheOriginalEmu · 29/01/2024 15:01

I thought this was going to be someone else who gets annoyed at their own tongue, and now I’m disappointed. (And feel even weirder).

but to your problem…tell him to stop it! It’s not unreasonable to not want to be snogged when you have a gob full of Food.

😂😂😂 Thank you for cheering me up.

PumpkinsAndCoconuts · 30/01/2024 15:47

Universalsnail · 29/01/2024 16:59

Tbh I am fully down with random snogging in the day time but if im actively eating that would be a bit weird.

Same.

But OP doesn´t like it and should simply tell her DH.

PumpkinsAndCoconuts · 30/01/2024 15:48

Sometimes men (husbands) think that their wives are possessions for them to order about and possess, and touch when they want. WE are here to remind them, that they are fucking wrong!

That is definitely not the purpose of my existence. And it shouldn´t be yours either, tbh.

Patrickiscrazy · 30/01/2024 16:04

No. Not anymore, ever. 😃

ZuzuMyLittleGingersnap · 31/01/2024 01:37

"I'm very glad that my DP is so respectful of my boundaries but I'm also aware that that should be the baseline for a relationship, not some sort of glorious exception."

Totally right, @BardRelic

ZuzuMyLittleGingersnap · 31/01/2024 01:42

Somatosensational · 29/01/2024 18:44

What does kissing with tongues even mean? I’ve never put my tongue in someone’s mouth. It’s only happened to me once and I recoiled. A good kiss doesn’t involve tongues leaving mouths.

YANBU OP.

Can be great, IME, but ONLY if both parties are equally into it.

Nobody should ever be coerced/pressured/guilt-tripped or worse.

CaraMiaMonCher · 31/01/2024 01:47

DP and I love snogging and I can think of very few circumstances where I would prefer to be pecked over a proper snog.

TheOriginalEmu · 31/01/2024 02:59

DarlingDoggo · 29/01/2024 15:14

I thought this was going to be someone else who gets annoyed at their own tongue, and now I’m disappointed. (And feel even weirder).

Sorry but that made me laugh. 🤣

I think it’s because I have autism 😂 it frequently happens where my own skin pisses me off because I’m over stimulated or something. The tongue thing is usually when I’m trying to sleep and I become aware of it in my mouth. It feels huge and I’m just so AWARE of it. 😂

TheOriginalEmu · 31/01/2024 03:02

TaRaChuck · 29/01/2024 15:35

I thought this was going to be someone else who gets annoyed at their own tongue, and now I’m disappointed.

I really want to know more. Are you saying your tongue annoys you? Why does it annoy you? I'm asking because sometimes I think about my tongue just being there in my mouth - just lying around - and then I get really hyper aware of it and it then feels out of place, like I don't know where it should be: hovering in mid air (mid mouth?), pressed against the roof of my mouth, or resting just behind my bottom teeth. So then I put it in one of those areas, and then my tongue feels fake, like it like almost doesn't belong, and it's a bit awkward. So I agree that tongues can feel weird, but I don't think mine has ever annoyed me.

(Sorry to the OP for going off topic somewhat)

Show quote history

That’s exactly it! I’m hyper aware of it and don’t know where it ‘goes’. And then the feeling of it touching inside my mouth irritates me.
I am on the autism spectrum, so it could be a sensory processing issue. My own skin feels wrong quite often. It’s a fun life. 😂

TigerJoy · 31/01/2024 03:19

I've had a partner who would sulk and give me a hard time if I asked him to stop doing anything he wanted to do. I noticed how much easier it was to just do what HE wanted all the time...until I reached the point he scared me. He was also very "fragile", sensitive and would tell me he felt bad about himself - it was so easy to hurt his feelings, it made it incredibly hard to raise things I didn't like or was uncomfortable with in the relationship as he would be so "hurt".

I hope the kissing isn't the tip of the iceberg.

Gur · 31/01/2024 03:24

The only tongue I want in my mouth is my own. If anyone tried putting theirs in my mouth I'd bite the fucker off.
The bloke who says wa wa kiss and the sulkers would have been dumped the first time they acted like that.
Ugh.

IpsyUpsyDaisyDoos · 31/01/2024 06:24

TigerJoy · 31/01/2024 03:19

I've had a partner who would sulk and give me a hard time if I asked him to stop doing anything he wanted to do. I noticed how much easier it was to just do what HE wanted all the time...until I reached the point he scared me. He was also very "fragile", sensitive and would tell me he felt bad about himself - it was so easy to hurt his feelings, it made it incredibly hard to raise things I didn't like or was uncomfortable with in the relationship as he would be so "hurt".

I hope the kissing isn't the tip of the iceberg.

Same. Sulking, telling me I was hurting him by being upset or not in the mood to do whatever the flavour of the day was etc.

The scary thing is, 9 months in when I dumped him is when it got REALLY bad. The sulking stopped and the faux "self destruction" started. Drinking a lot, driving around with his air rifle "looking for" me/my friends/family. I remember one day running home to my mum cos he was following me about in his car, drunk (I was 18 so some of the more sensible ideas hadn't occurred) and she went ape, off he popped for a bit.

The final straw was when he sent me a picture from the top of our nearby "mountain" (almost there, just a bit short) and the message "well at least the last thing I'll ever see will be beautiful". Instead of running to him, which was his plan, I called his family, told them what he was doing and that now he was their responsibility. He sent me a LOT of angry messages after that but didn't show up again til several years later, by which point I told him very calmly to f@(£ off and walked away because I'd figured out he was just playing games with me.

The sulking is ALWAYS the tip of the iceberg. Which is why it terrifies me that so many women think "its a man thing".

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