Is this child abuse?

[Hah20]

DS who is 2 years old has a habit of trying to scratch DH in the face. In the past DS has got a big reaction from him for doing this. I believe this is why DS repeats the behaviour.
Today this happened and DH pushed DS off him, he fell backwards and was very upset,bumped his head but with no lump. I just want some opinions. Was that just rubbish parenting or is this classed as physical abuse?
I am very much of the gentle parenting approach and am horrified by what happened, but not sure what to do. I told DH in no uncertain terms that what happened wasn't okay and he disappeared in a sulk for the rest of the day.so we are yet to have a proper discussion.

What a wild thing to say to someone you know nothing about.

Do you realise how harmful that is?

Thank you. The drama on here is shocking.

I could say the exact same thing to you.

@FrankieLet

Sleazy? So you don't think being pushed over and risking a head injury is an acceptable punishment for a 2 year old? In which case, I don't know what your issue is with my comments because that's all I'm saying.

Either engage with the points I'm making without inventing things you think I've said and name-calling, or don't bother tagging me.

Not really, no. Making a very personal and targeted comment about me without knowing my history is very different to me expressing a viewpoint that you don't agree with.

Ok, so ima retired cop who spent the majority of my service in the CID, 8 of those years was in child protection. I would not have been charging anyone with a crime as unless there have been ANY other incidents this appears to be someone acting in a way to prevent being scratched. The Pearl clutches are here though saying it's abuse without knowing any other circumstances. Tell me, if you know someone is away to claw at your face do you just let them or push them away?

No he shouldn't have pushed him away, and I think his reaction (sulking) makes it worse. If he didn't mean to hurt him, then surely his reaction would have been to pick your DS up and apologise. Not to go off in a sulk?

You shouldn't push people, and it's hardly surprising that a two year old gets hurt when pushed by a full grown man.

I've been in this situation myself with a child who repeatedly hurt me on purpose, it's very difficult, but you absolutely must control your temper. There's a big difference between calmly holding a child away to stop them hurting you and pushing them over.

Yeah, maybe they did😀

Of course the 2 year old shouldn't be scratching, but come on! It's a 2 year old! Still learning! Surely that is more understandable than an adult "acting instinctively and not knowing their own strength"?!

Honestly unless he did it on purpose and or didn't immediately check your son was ok and apologise to him id just assume it was a silly clumsy accident.
My DH is a clumsy oaf who accidentally hurt both our kids loads of times when they were little. Think turning around and elbowing one in the face, or having a child on shoulders and walking under a tree with lower than anticipated branches 😬. And one time I tripped over one child's bouncer and landed half on top of him. Accidents happen.

Neither. I held their arms so they couldn't do it. Then told them off.

Pushing a child away when they're actively trying to hurt you is perfectly reasonable. It's easy to not know your own strength and push too hard. I wouldn't think anything of it.

I work in a special needs school and deal with attempts at being scratched in the face frequently. I and other staff hold the children (sometimes bigger than us) when we are scratched in the face. Pushing a 2 year old seems like a completely inappropriate action, not loving at all. Also this isn't the first time the child has done this and so some thought could have gone into a response.

Thanks for some sense.

It sounds like an accident and in future he will probably handle it differently. I wouldn't say it's abuse.

I've swiped my child, for clarity, not hit, not smacked, but I have swiped my hand up to move her hands and that has pushed her backwards onto the bed.

My DD was going through a big phase of hitting, it was the middle of the night and she wasn't happy it wasnt time to get up - she started hitting me, mid asleep so I just swiped upwards (not hitting, but making contact on my arm to her arms)

I think it also does depend on tone and after the event. In these situations, I talk to DD (4) most of the time and try to de-escalate, find other ways to get frustrations out (I found non-aggressive stamps with feet, or hard jumps) as good way of redirecting it, she the learnt about breathing and most of the time she understands the emotions now. We always debrief afterwards, why it happened, how can I be prevented in the future, how we can do differently next time, we always apologise and say 'friends again' and state we love each other.

I came from an abusive household, there is a difference between asserting your boundaries and respect for not being hurt and disrespected, when you do are not showed it from them.

I think it is age developmental, and ife wasn't always this calm and easy. We have had times like this and frustration = frustration, but the more you deal with it, it is likely to happen.

The walking out and being huffy all day, does sound as though Dad is struggling somewhere. He needs positivity and support also, this is new to him, you and your DC.

Happy to advise any further if I can

@FrankieLet

it wasn't a punishment, it was a consequence of his behaviour.

id push a 2 year old away if it was hurting me. If they toppled over, well that's what toddlers do. It was unfortunate he bumped his head, but it was hardly deliberate!

Look you’re being dramatic, making accusations about child abuse to people who disagree with you and being argumentative. You need to breathe and just talk. No one wants the two year old hurt, obviously. Just some people believe the net suffering is greater leaving your kid to learn violence and accusing your husband of ‘child abuse’ over an accident, than a kid falling over when blocked. You might not.

He’s scratching the man in the face?! Of course DH is going to push him
away instinctively! A shame he bumped his head but hopefully he’ll learn not to scratch someone in the face repeatedly.

If you get hurt it is natural to push away. I don't think this was child abuse but you need to talk to your 2 year old about scratching/hurting people and maybe your DH should make sure the child's hands are not close to his face so can't scratch him. Not nice behaviour from your DC needs shutting down.

I think it was a natural reaction unless you have other reasons to think it's not a one off....do you truly gentle patent or ineffective do as you like just front cry parent? What you're doing hasn't stopped it so time to review your strategy maybe.

There's a difference between hurting others and taking action to prevent injury how do you stop him from attacking you? Some just say don't do that darling it hurts but get injured others stop the injury and some parents say no while laughing

Or say that hurts don't do it, you wouldn't like it if someone did that to you. Treat them like they understand, which often they do.

I hate this "gentle parenting" approach, as it basically means that kids don't get told off for being naughty! Scratching people in the face is completely unacceptable! Why should your DH have to stand up out of his reach?! I don't believe this is abuse, but a reaction to being scratched. He obviously didn't mean to actually push your son over, but perhaps YOU need to teach your son to behave better, as you are being way to chill about this .

FFS step up and parent! Gentle parenting is not working for you!