No inheritance because of pilot training

[Poily]

My brother is a pilot for a major airline in the UK. My parents were not able to borrow against their house to fund it so had to use pretty much all their savings. £150k was roughly what was spent.

Due to their failed business (folded just after Covid) they racked up massive loans trying to save their hospitality-related business. When they sell their house they won’t end up with much.

So I don’t know exactly how it works but some of that £150k ends up in a bond which the airline then pays out to my brother every month in his pay packet. But if my brother walks away from the airline he walks away from this bond also. It’s a lot of money. Gets paid over 7 years I think.

AIBU to think my brother should not quit his job and move to the Middle East (stupid salary) as he plans to do? He way paying that bond money to my parents.

Brother has said he will cover my parents bills. Great. Thats the right thing to do. But that cuts me out. As my parents were transferring the bond
money into a savings account for my kids.

AIBU?

We will probably end up paying quite a large sum to help one of our kids in their chosen career. If my other child chooses something that costs us less, they won’t be owed the equivalent amount by us .......and they will still both be left the same in our will.

You sound very entitled.

YANBU OP. You'll get a pasting on here, MN hates anybody who's due to inherit but it's the unfairness of it all.
It doesn't matter if your parents spent their inheritance on cruising and partying. That's their right. And treating both siblings equally.
It's the unfairness here that matters!
Is your brother the Golden Child by any chance?

But the parents were paying their own rent and bills previously, and saving the bond money for OP’s kids.

So how come all the money from brother is now needed for them to live on?

If that was always the case, the bond money could not have been saved.

Yes but my brother will no longer transfer £700 to parents in new arrangement. His repayment comes in the form of rent will be directly paid to landlord.

There’s not really enough information here.

Did your parents fund or help fund your education post 18? Have they given you money to help buy property etc?

The £150,000 given to your brother- was it agreed as a loan?

It’s between your dp and your brother it’s there choice how they spent their money
I do understand how you feel I am in a similar situation my dm has lent dsis tens of thousands of the years which has never been paid back. Dm is elderly and in poor health and due to dsis I am unlikely to inherit anything as I think the will may have been changed. It’s difficult but it’s her money to do as she wishes.

Why? He's not the Council, paying HB directly to landlord so that tenants can't squander it.
Seems fishy. Something else is going on.

This

But your parents are still benefitting? If your brother wasn’t paying the landlord, your parents would have to pay.

And if the parents wish to keep saving then they can. But it shouldn’t be expected.

perhaps the brother knows more about the parents current financial state than the grabby OP does.

the OP has said he is paying £700 a month so it’s not as if he has said “nope not paying” it may just be at less than the OP wants it to be but at the end of the day it’s not money owed to her so it’s nothing to do with her.

It hasn’t , that money may well have been used up in care costs . You and your children are not entitled to an inheritance . You can feel aggrieved that your parents have shown some level of favouritism to your brother but that is nothing to do with inheritance

I think you are conflating too many things ( unless I have misunderstood).

Your parents LOANED £150k to your brother. He has been paying them back monthly in cash. How that is funded (via the airline etc) is irrelevant.

Your parents have chosen to GIVE this money to your kids.

Your brother has proposed to your parents that he repay them a different way. This suits them. They find it generous. They are happy with it.

They may or may not chose to continue to give money to your kids. From what you are saying they choose not to.

Ether way, via your kids you are still the net beneficiary. Your brother will have more than repaid his loan. Your kids will have been given money (not a loan).

So why are you upset? Because they are not receiving as much as you originally hoped? Even no one else is getting anything?

It’s not your inheritance, but your parents money, but I understand your grievance.

However, it appears this was a gift to your brother, rather than a loan. We Facebook ds a small amount to help towards a house deposit and had to sign something to say it was a gift. Not sure whether the same applies here. (Can’t remember the reason now).

You aren't entitled to anything. It's their money to spend how they wish whilst they are alive.

Jesus christ.

Its not unreasonable to feel upset at the thought of missing out on money you thought you'd get. It is unreasonable to have decided what all your family members should be doing to make sure you don't lose out. Your parents have the capacity to manage their financial affairs so you have no right to try to interfere in their arrangements with your brother, much less your brothers job choices. All you can do is tell your parents that you're worried you will not get their money when they die (which is all it boils down to really) and hope they take that on board in your favour.

So your parents will have the £700 they were paying to the landlord free.

They end up with the same amount of money each month as they djd in the existing arrangement.

If the rising cost of living means they can't afford to put any in a savings account any more, that's not your brothers fault.

The money to him was not a gift, or an early inheritance, but a loan, he is paying back. If your parents need to spend all their income on living, that's the situation .

What career did you choose OP? Did they help fund it?

My thoughts:
Your brother borrowed the money at 0% interest (he was paying them back) so it’s not the same as an inheritance. If he’d borrowed 150k to buy a house then repaid it when he sold the house then I’d feel the same.

It’s up to your parents how he pays them back. Say he pays £1000 in bills rather than cash then it’s absolutely fine for your parents to agree to this

It sounds like that there are some repayments in the account for your kids. How can you allow your parents to have thousands for your kids when they are in debt? That’s really selfish behaviour.

On the other hand
Did your brother get the Dubai job because of the pilot training or is it totally unrelated?

How many years has he been with the airline ?

Dad currently works part time (helping out a family member). When they move to Herefordshire, Dad will be retiring.

But then your parents won’t be spending their money on the £700 rent so will have that money available. What they then do with it is up to them, they could choose to put £700 into an account for you, or spend it on themselves. They may need it for their retirement. This is between you and your parents, not your brother, he is paying them back.

Ignoring everything else your parents are in a position where sadly their debt is so high they are left having to sell their home with little equity and all you care about is your inheritance.

that to me says a lot about you!

Well yes, but since that's money they now won't have to find they'll still be £700 a month up on the deal and could choose (or not) to pay that into an investment for your DC

The bigger problem might arise if DB somehow decides he can no longer fund their expenses, or if your DPs use the money for another shaky business

So he is repaying the money. £700 a month is £8400 a year, so will take around 17 years to repay.

You need to explain what reason your parents gave when they said

”We are going to stop paying into your children’s savings account”.

That is the only decision that matters. The flow of money behind the scenes is irrelevant.