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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

No inheritance because of pilot training

557 replies

Poily · 27/01/2024 12:21

My brother is a pilot for a major airline in the UK. My parents were not able to borrow against their house to fund it so had to use pretty much all their savings. £150k was roughly what was spent.

Due to their failed business (folded just after Covid) they racked up massive loans trying to save their hospitality-related business. When they sell their house they won’t end up with much.

So I don’t know exactly how it works but some of that £150k ends up in a bond which the airline then pays out to my brother every month in his pay packet. But if my brother walks away from the airline he walks away from this bond also. It’s a lot of money. Gets paid over 7 years I think.

AIBU to think my brother should not quit his job and move to the Middle East (stupid salary) as he plans to do? He way paying that bond money to my parents.

Brother has said he will cover my parents bills. Great. Thats the right thing to do. But that cuts me out. As my parents were transferring the bond
money into a savings account for my kids.

AIBU?

OP posts:
Original poster
Poily · 27/01/2024 17:07

I do not live close to parents. Not able to do much

OP posts:
FrenchieF · 27/01/2024 17:11

you could also ask for a loan of some money to train for a better job then you won’t rely on inheritance or need your parents money for your kids.

FrenchieF · 27/01/2024 17:14

It’s unreasonable to expect an inheritance and to expect your brother to make decisions based on your children’s inheritance. Hope it doesn’t cause any family conflict.

Cosyblankets · 27/01/2024 17:18

The finances of your parents and brother are none of your concern.

No one is entitled to any inheritance until they become a beneficiary in a will of a person who has passed away

Starfish1021 · 27/01/2024 17:19

The more I read your updates the more I think you’re being really unfair. There are no guarantees when it comes to inheritance, especially if your parents need residential care. The fact your brother has agreed to make sacrifices to build up savings and help your parents in their old age seems a really fair swop for the loan. They are basically going to move into insecure accommodation and you are bemoaning your lot.

friendlycat · 27/01/2024 17:20

I'm afraid it doesn't sound as though your parents are in a good place financially. Your brother is, therefore, stepping in to help for their future retirement. Paying their rent and building them a suitable annexe to live in for the future is all costing money that I would imagine will exceed the training fees he was gifted earlier. Therefore, it will all become a moot point as to what he was previously given.

Under these circumstances I think you need to reframe your thoughts on future inheritance and money being set aside monthly for your children. Inheritances are never guaranteed.

Wakeywake · 27/01/2024 17:22

The parents may have made poor businesses decisions, but they certainly made one very good decision - to invest in the child who gives a damn about them.

Crankyaboutfood · 27/01/2024 17:26

Poily · 27/01/2024 12:35

Well my brother has said he will be pay their rent alongside some spending money. And parents are happy with that. So the £150k seems to have been forgotten.

I think the long term plan is for brother to save money whilst he works in the Middle East (no income tax) and then come back to the UK and build a house with accommodation for parents.

I think my parents view this as my brother as being generous. So the £150k is very neatly forgotten about.

It might be generous. If they are in bad shape financially someone agreeing to pay their rent and spending money is huge. It will likely cost your brother more than 150 over time. It’s not fair, but life isn’t fair. You cannot assume an inheritance is a right. It sounds like they would have used that 150 for living anyway as their circumstances changed.

SuperDopper · 27/01/2024 17:33

Poily · 27/01/2024 12:26

No my parents are fit and healthy. But this new arrangement means I have no hope of having anything.

Just re-reading your posts.

OP, your parents are broke. They lost their home and business. Why on earth do you think you’ll get anything?!

Hellenicnim · 27/01/2024 17:33

You're acting like your brother is just being given the £150k but he's not he's paying it back. Your parents are just living off it instead of giving it to your kids. If things had stayed as they were, the bond which was your parents savings originally would have been transferred entirely to your children and your brother would have had no inheritance because it all went to them. It looks like neither of you is getting an inheritance but your brother did get a massive interest free loan. Though some of the money has already been put in savings for your children so there is some inheritance for your side.

Cerealkiller4U · 27/01/2024 17:34

Poily · 27/01/2024 12:21

My brother is a pilot for a major airline in the UK. My parents were not able to borrow against their house to fund it so had to use pretty much all their savings. £150k was roughly what was spent.

Due to their failed business (folded just after Covid) they racked up massive loans trying to save their hospitality-related business. When they sell their house they won’t end up with much.

So I don’t know exactly how it works but some of that £150k ends up in a bond which the airline then pays out to my brother every month in his pay packet. But if my brother walks away from the airline he walks away from this bond also. It’s a lot of money. Gets paid over 7 years I think.

AIBU to think my brother should not quit his job and move to the Middle East (stupid salary) as he plans to do? He way paying that bond money to my parents.

Brother has said he will cover my parents bills. Great. Thats the right thing to do. But that cuts me out. As my parents were transferring the bond
money into a savings account for my kids.

AIBU?

Sorry. But it’s their money. It’s not yours……

you have no right to it at all…

their choice entirely and you don’t have a say at all if I’m honest.

Cerealkiller4U · 27/01/2024 17:35

XelaM · 27/01/2024 12:26

Wow is it usual for pilots to have to pay £150K up front and be tied by this to the airline? Sounds horrendous

Yup. Because training is so expensive it’s usually done this way as people don’t have 150k laying around usually at 20 years old…

PropertyManager · 27/01/2024 17:37

Your brother is being very generous OP, he is going to house your parents and they have given him £150K to pay for it, if they ever need care and there is no money in the pot the local authority accountants will be all over your brothers finances, they are all headed for a mess

Breathe a sigh of relief it has nothing to do with you.

Cerealkiller4U · 27/01/2024 17:37

Poily · 27/01/2024 12:39

Why should my brother’s choice of repayment negatively impact my kids?

How does it negatively affect your kids?

nandinos · 27/01/2024 17:37

Cerealkiller4U · 27/01/2024 17:35

Yup. Because training is so expensive it’s usually done this way as people don’t have 150k laying around usually at 20 years old…

Show quote history

But he had to pay the airline upfront, with them paying him back. That's PP's point.
It sounds very strange. It would make sense if it was the other way around, with money paid back IF he quit.

Lulubo1 · 27/01/2024 17:41

It's not "your" money or your childrens money. It's your parents money. They can do what they want with it. It might not seem fair, but that's not up to you. They made bad business decisions that has ultimately caused the issues. I think it's disgusting you are so fixated on your cut of their money while they are still fit and well

Cerealkiller4U · 27/01/2024 17:42

Poily · 27/01/2024 16:02

I think to be fair I have got some figures wrong. A lot of this info is years old.

  • I know the training was £120k-£150k.
  • Parents are receiving a monthly figure from brother via bond
  • My kids have £700 each month in savings given to them

So if your kids have £700 A MONTH!!!! Given to then

how are they being negatively left out of inheritance??

PropertyManager · 27/01/2024 17:44

nandinos · 27/01/2024 17:37

But he had to pay the airline upfront, with them paying him back. That's PP's point.
It sounds very strange. It would make sense if it was the other way around, with money paid back IF he quit.

Show quote history

I know a pilot for BA, it was my understanding that the training costs were deducted from your pay monthly, like a student loan, but if you quit the line within the period (7 years sounds right) you owe the balance.

If you needed 150K upfront there wouldn't be many takers for training in their early 20's, something doesn't add up...

ChedderGorgeous · 27/01/2024 17:44

Your parents can do what they want with thier money. I would try not to see them as a living bond to mature for you. Perhaps see how you can support your patents more.

Cerealkiller4U · 27/01/2024 17:48

nandinos · 27/01/2024 17:37

But he had to pay the airline upfront, with them paying him back. That's PP's point.
It sounds very strange. It would make sense if it was the other way around, with money paid back IF he quit.

Show quote history

Yeah. That sounds exactly how it works. We have a pilot training school here and that’s quite normal here

Yalta · 27/01/2024 17:49

How long does your brother need to stay at this airline before he gets the £150k back to return to your parents.

For instance if he has 2 years to go before he gets the £150k back then will he be able to make the 24 monthly payments of £6250 to your parents so when he was supposed to hand back that money he will have repaid your parents in full.
Or is he thinking of just not repaying anything but tossing a few pounds per month to your parents

This isn’t an inheritance dilemma it is purely a maths one

How much will he be earning and is it enough to repay the amount he would have got if he stayed at the airline for the 7 years.

I think once he adds everything up, his cost of living the £150,000 he needs to repay etc I don’t think that the mega salary is so mega.

These type of jobs aren’t going to go away.

The jobs will still be there in a few years time when he has repaid your parents and then he can go and enjoy the money

As an older person I get the impression that both you and your brother treat your parents as though they are chess pieces to be moved around the board at your will. The inheritance and how much rent and bills your brother thinks they will accept because one day he is going to build a big house for him and a small annexe for them

If my children decided to do anything like this I would tell them to F. Off and pay me back the money and I will take care of my own rent and bills

What your parents do or don’t do with their money is up to them but they need it back so unless your brother has a spare £150,000 to give them he needs to stay where he is.

After all there is no guarantee that even if everything worked out on paper his new job has any security that will guarantee that he keeps working for the time he needs to come up with the repayment of the £150,000

nandinos · 27/01/2024 17:49

PropertyManager · 27/01/2024 17:44

I know a pilot for BA, it was my understanding that the training costs were deducted from your pay monthly, like a student loan, but if you quit the line within the period (7 years sounds right) you owe the balance.

If you needed 150K upfront there wouldn't be many takers for training in their early 20's, something doesn't add up...

Show quote history

I agree it doesn't add up but that's what she's saying.

The OP's brother borrowed 150K from the parents, 'some' of which was paid to the airline.
The airline doesn't deduct this money monthly from his pay. Rather, they pay it back, at a rate of £700 a month. Which he then gave his parents who gave it to OP's children.
This arrangement lasts 7 years, so about 60K paid to the airline upfront.

BTW I suspect that she got it wrong, and it's really, like what your pilot mate said. In which case, OP's brother is somewhat up the shitter if he doesn't have the money.

Going to the ME may really be a case of saving his own ass, not 'supporting his parents'.

@Cerealkiller4U are you saying that people pay the pilot school upfront. If they then get a job with an airline, the airline pays that money back at the rate of 7 years?

I see no reason for them to do that. There aren't many airlines and pilot openings, surely if someone's spent all that dosh training they don't need an added incentive to get a job as a pilot, i.e. the additional sweetener of their fees being returned?

It makes sense if the airline are paying to train someone who doesn't have the money to train themselves!

PropertyManager · 27/01/2024 17:52

Cerealkiller4U · 27/01/2024 17:42

So if your kids have £700 A MONTH!!!! Given to then

how are they being negatively left out of inheritance??

Show quote history

so thats £8,400 per year, the gift allowance per year for IHT is £3000 per person (so if you have 3 kids, its under, 2 or less over) - and its going to look like deprivation of assets.

At best you get a tax bill, at worst the money gets clawed back later for care.

A mess.

Iwasafool · 27/01/2024 17:56

So they won't have much when the sell up. If they hadn't given him the £150k they'd have not much plus £150k which would soon go on rent and living expenses. Then he's going to have them living with him so not much for you to do but you know they are OK. I think you've done OK.

PropertyManager · 27/01/2024 17:58

Iwasafool · 27/01/2024 17:56

So they won't have much when the sell up. If they hadn't given him the £150k they'd have not much plus £150k which would soon go on rent and living expenses. Then he's going to have them living with him so not much for you to do but you know they are OK. I think you've done OK.

Exactly, the brother is complicit in the mess, but he is picking up the pieces going forward and will be mired in the poop as they get old an infirm and he has no way to move them into care.

OP you are well out of it, and still getting the £700/month for now

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