No inheritance because of pilot training

[Poily]

My brother is a pilot for a major airline in the UK. My parents were not able to borrow against their house to fund it so had to use pretty much all their savings. £150k was roughly what was spent.

Due to their failed business (folded just after Covid) they racked up massive loans trying to save their hospitality-related business. When they sell their house they won’t end up with much.

So I don’t know exactly how it works but some of that £150k ends up in a bond which the airline then pays out to my brother every month in his pay packet. But if my brother walks away from the airline he walks away from this bond also. It’s a lot of money. Gets paid over 7 years I think.

AIBU to think my brother should not quit his job and move to the Middle East (stupid salary) as he plans to do? He way paying that bond money to my parents.

Brother has said he will cover my parents bills. Great. Thats the right thing to do. But that cuts me out. As my parents were transferring the bond
money into a savings account for my kids.

AIBU?

I get it, op. I can’t imagine treating my two children so differently. I would never gift £150k to one child while the other gets nothing.

The 150k sounds credible but I think like some others I'm curious about how you can end up paying for pretty much all training (including type rating) and then also end up formally bonded to the airline for ?7 years.

:D

Rather than wringing your hands about how you're not getting the money you wanted, have you helped your parents at all? That doesn't need to be financially. Your brother is helping them to find an affordable rental... anything? Or just annoyed that their misfortune means no large sum of money for you? Are you saving for your kids or is that your parents' job? The answer comes across very clearly in the OP posts but thought I'd give the benefit of the doubt.

But if your brother is returning the money to them then they won’t have given him anything. So why do you think you deserve an inheritance? Also your parents situation has changed. Chances are if they hadn’t invested that money in your brother it would have been lost with the rest.
What’s important now is your parents needs are met. Your brother is doing right by them, how he does that is less relevant

He's not planning to build the house until he gets back. That's presumably years. He is currently paying it back. They have no money. They have nothing. What is he gaining from them? He will have paid most if not all of the loan back by the time he builds the house. He will be basically providing a home for his elderly parents in the future.

Not “unilaterally”. It was with the full agreement of her parents, who were more than happy with the arrangement and considered it ‘generous’.

Therefore, however OP feels about it is irrelevant, it’s got bugger all to do with her.

People who anticipate or think they are owed inheritance make my blood boil.

I’m embarrassed for you. If you do not receive an inheritance how is that going to ‘negatively impact’ your children? You sound so grabby. So your brother should not move abroad because all you can see is money you are claiming to be yours by rights may be changed? Ugghhh . How vulgar and low can you go?

This is a kind of bad attitude though.

It's not your money.

So you don't actually know how much your DB was paying them each month?
If they are stone broke, how were they able to put anything towards your dc anyway? Or he might have been paying a whopping big amount each month that Eva led them to pay their 700 rent and another 700 they could put to your dc and enough extra for them to live on. In which case he's been paying them back well

This sounds like your parents are being unfair and treating their children differently but you don’t actually know that yet. If your brother repays the loan in full over time then he hasn’t been given more than you. You are equal, or you have the advantage because of the money given to your kids. If the debt is written off at some point there is nothing to stop your parents giving you an equivalent amount later on or in their wills to even you up. Let your brother and parents get on with their lives without your interference. As there is nothing you can do just let the matter rest.

If your brother is paying rent and bills of almost £1000 a month, then in 3 years he will have paid them back. You’re just sore that it prevents you from getting your sticky hand# on hard cash.

No inheritance exists because they're not dead.

Hopefully they will live long and healthy lives and spend their money enjoying it.

But even if he didn't change jobs and still paid the money to your parents, they would presumably have to spend it on bills and not be able to afford to put it into savings in any event. It sounds like plans have changed and that inheritance for either of you has gone. So, if they were to die in the next 7 years, then presumably your brother should give you some of the bond. All this is semantics though as it could end up on care fees etc in any event.

The only "gift" to your brother is the amount he doesn't pay back to the parents - which we don't know yet.

He should retain the same amount sent to your children.

The parents are going to need anything the son pays back for themselves for regular living expenses.

I think you treat your kids according to need. He had a need (stretching the term need here i guess but bear with me) for a professional qualification, i guess at this point the daughter didn’t have such a need.

My kids have different needs as one is SEN and needs all sorts the other doesn’t so the idea of spending the same on them is kinda moot

SEN is not a choice. An expensive qualification is.

It’s entirely between your brother and your parents. If they want him to pay a higher amount every month then they’re free to say that to him. As it is, it seems they’re happy with the new plan. Whether you’re happy with it or not isn’t their problem.

It doesn’t sound like they’re in the position where they can afford to continue giving the money to your children anyway.

He's paying back a loan it's not a gift. Your parents went bankrupt so the loan is to put a roof over their head. I've friends whose parents used up everything when they went into residential then nursing home care. £150k lasts three years in these cases.

Sorry - shameful place-marking.

He hates a whole region? Better he just leaves alone instead of using them for money.

His wife is okay with supporting parents

You do seem to have been treated unequally. Your brother needs to pay back the £150k to your parents, but then all bets are off re inheritance.

So the situation is
(Currently)
Parents get some money from bond (might be £700, might be more)
Father gets some money from part time job
Parents have lots of debts
Parents put £700 in savings account for OP's children.

(Future proposed)
Parents get some money from brother (might be £700, might be more)
Father retires. On the basis of him previously working in failed business, I'm going to assume he will have state pension only, but that might be wrong
Parents sell house. Some (all?) equity goes on clearing debts
Parents have debt and CCJs that preclude them from renting so need brother's help with this
Brother offers to cover their housing until they die
There simply isn't any spare money knocking about for savings accounts

(OP's future proposed)
Brother stays in job
Parents get some money from bond which they have to use for living costs
So still no more money for savings
They still have to sell their house to cover debts and will struggle to rent anywhere
Once the money from bond runs out they will be stuck
Brother wont' have built up enough savings to help with housing.

The pilot training is simply a red herring here. It's due to OP's parents change in circumstances that means they cant' give her/her children any money.
There is no unfairness as the training money will be paid back.