Page 8 | DH gravely ill - I have no sympathy

DeBuugs · 2024-01-27T10:58:00+00:00

This is half light hearted and half a vent. We have two young children who still wake up a lot at night. DH never does any of the nights - he got himself into a nice little position where the kids only want me. I really feel the lack of sleep creeping on me and has been for a while. DH has been sick with cold for quite a while now. He walks around all huffing, looking like he is about to faint and when he talks to me talks supper quiet and his speech breaks up - you know where I’m going with this. Like someone acting for their boss when calling in sick 🤣. I gave him no sympathy since he announced he had a cold (I was sick then myself) and I think we have a stand off here and he will be sulking acting like he is about to die until I acknowledge his extremely bad cold. I have no intention to do so. If any men comment on here please say that you are a man if you don’t mind. Interested to hear male comments 😊

Circularargument · 27/01/2024 14:55

And at the opposite end is DH who at 77 bounced off a mountain, shredding his legs, hands and scalp, continued to the top and met me caked in dried blood two hours later than expected at the bottom...

Tiddlywinks63 · 27/01/2024 14:56

usernother · 27/01/2024 11:59

My OH was ill a few weeks ago. I cared for him exactly the way he cared for me when I'd been ill, which mostly ignoring him. He hated it, I could tell he felt very hard done by.

Yep! When I had Covid he didn’t even make me a cup of tea, for 5 days I filled a water bottle in the bathroom and ate half a packet of biscuits.
Apparently he didn’t want to catch it, pathetic excuse.

Walking2024now24days · 27/01/2024 14:58

Jollyoldfruit · 27/01/2024 11:33

We were staying with friends when dh got a bout of d&v. We sat downstairs chatting, dh had taken himself to bed.
Dh came down in his pj’s and announced in a quiet, trembly voice ‘I’ve been sick again.’
My friend burst out laughing and dh shuffled back up the stairs and stayed there until he was amazingly well enough next morning to come down dressed and speaking normally!

@Jollyoldfruit

aww bless. I do love the image of him standing there in his pj's...quivering lip. They're all just little boys at heart aren't they.

your friend was a bit mean!! I'd have wanted to scoop him up and carry him back to bed (but at not quite 5ft & no muscles, he'd have had to make do with a hand hold)

im not sure though if in reality I'd have been doting or mortified?!?!

once when we were moving a friend was helping us & as we were stripping the bed (we were young & it was my best friend) she picked up a pillow & DP's (traditional button up striped) pj's we're underneath. She was near wetting herself laughing!!! Maybe you had to be there?!?!

Userxyd · 27/01/2024 15:01

gannett · 27/01/2024 11:42

Always feel thankful when I read these threads that I have a partner who looks after me and is extremely sympathetic when I'm ill, and I do the same for him. Yes, I shuffle around and cough and talk weakly and wear a dressing gown, it's called being ill. Would hate to be in a relationship where my partner didn't have sympathy and mocked me for being ill.

Groan 🙄

Snowdogsmitten · 27/01/2024 15:04

Mnetcurious · 27/01/2024 11:53

Exactly this! Do you not want sympathy when you’re ill and the offer to make you a lemsip or get you a blanket (or something else to show you care). He’d probably stop going on and ‘putting on a show’ if you acknowledged that he’s feeling ill and showed a degree of sympathy. Are you not sympathetic when other people you love feel ill? Why should it be any different for your husband?

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Men seem to have the luxury to take to their beds, women don’t. They seem to take to their beds for the most questionable of ailments. They have a habit of copying any ailment we have.

No wonder women get fucked off with their pathetic partners and rant on here, albeit lightheartedly.

My friend’s husband decided that he too was sick when my friend was vomiting profusely. She had morning sickness with their third child. He just didn’t fancy having to take care of the first two on his own. He’s a lazy twat and we all think he’s a prick, but that’s another story.

Walking2024now24days · 27/01/2024 15:05

gannett · 27/01/2024 11:42

Always feel thankful when I read these threads that I have a partner who looks after me and is extremely sympathetic when I'm ill, and I do the same for him. Yes, I shuffle around and cough and talk weakly and wear a dressing gown, it's called being ill. Would hate to be in a relationship where my partner didn't have sympathy and mocked me for being ill.

@gannett

i think you might be taking it a little too seriously or never been with a bloke that gets 'man flu' or 'man sick'. They're a breed unto themselves.

I was once having a deep & meaningful conversation with DP (at the time, long ago ex now) & I asked him if he would look after me if I ever became really ill or disabled and looking living into my eyes... said 'no, I don't think so'

I should have taken that at face value, but was young & madly in love.

Trappedandunhappy · 27/01/2024 15:05

ohfook · 27/01/2024 11:28

I'm not a man but I think you're being incredibly unreasonable. It's only anecdotal but my own personal experience has shown me that men do get much more ill, tired and stressed than women ever do even when it just seems minor like a cold or slightly broken sleep. When they break out the weak voice and the sad shuffle they're communicating their needs to us because they're too ill to say aloud that they need us to care for them alongside the children we're already looking after. #poorsouls

😂😂😂😂😂

Walking2024now24days · 27/01/2024 15:08

Tiddlywinks63 · 27/01/2024 14:56

Yep! When I had Covid he didn’t even make me a cup of tea, for 5 days I filled a water bottle in the bathroom and ate half a packet of biscuits.
Apparently he didn’t want to catch it, pathetic excuse.

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@Tiddlywinks63

jesus. Is he an Ex yet??

I have underlying issues (was in the shielding lot), I don't even know you, & I'd have looked after you much better than that!!

I couldn't stay with him after that.

Walking2024now24days · 27/01/2024 15:12

MILTOBE · 27/01/2024 14:55

That was such a shocking post. The paramedics seemed to have him sussed, too.

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@MILTOBE

Yeah, might try to find the thread later to see how the little one is doing.

that twat would be an ex by now!!

the paramedics were good value though!!!

CatkinToadflax · 27/01/2024 15:14

I have a couple of chronic health conditions and DH is absolutely magnificent in taking on a vast amount of work round the house and looking after househumans and livestock. But just occasionally he produces a comical malady. A few years ago he severely pulled some muscles in his lower stomach and groin area. He went from his usual jolly and incredibly considerate and capable self to talking in a hushed reedy whisper and walking like he was a member of Blazin’ Squad. I know he was in a lot of pain but my sympathy was limited! 😄😳

Tiddlywinks63 · 27/01/2024 15:22

@Walking2024now24days i guess I’m pretty used to it, he’s never had any empathy for someone else who’s ill.
🤷🏼‍♀️

Walking2024now24days · 27/01/2024 15:26

AnnaMagnani · 27/01/2024 13:24

@Walking2024now24days sadly his brother is also taken.

Neither of them are fully capable of earning a living though despite a very expensive education. So definitely male.

Unsurprisingly the sister who went to state school is the high earner.

@AnnaMagnani

oh, well, he can stay taken then!!

see none of them are perfect are they... unlike myself if course!! 😉

Appleass · 27/01/2024 15:27

gannett · 27/01/2024 11:42

Always feel thankful when I read these threads that I have a partner who looks after me and is extremely sympathetic when I'm ill, and I do the same for him. Yes, I shuffle around and cough and talk weakly and wear a dressing gown, it's called being ill. Would hate to be in a relationship where my partner didn't have sympathy and mocked me for being ill.

Take chill pill, these threads are not malicious they are a laugh. I am sure most of us look after our one when they are genuinely ill.

Nannyogg134 · 27/01/2024 15:29

Emotionalsupportviper · 27/01/2024 14:55

Bliddy hell!

Mine does that, too!

It's definitely competitive whinging.

Or I get - "You know you had that really bad cold last week and you could hardly breathe and had to keep stopping to rest when you were walking? Well you've passed it to me* and I also have an earache! You didn't have an earache. You can't imagine how painful it is."

(If anyone is worried about his earache, I used the dog's Otodine to dissolve any wax build-up. I didn't tell him it was from the vet. He's fine.)

*I obviously didn't pass it on to him otherwise he wouldn't have been able to talk so much without gasping.

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OMG so true!
Also, if someone's whinging like a puppy then they deserve whatever the vet prescribes ;)

Walking2024now24days · 27/01/2024 15:34

Deathbyfluffy · 27/01/2024 12:35

This, literally this.
I’m a man and when I’m ill it’s no different to anyone else - DW looks after me, and when she’s ill I look after her.

There’s no need for dramatics or one-upping each other, but then this is MN 😅

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@Deathbyfluffy

maybe your wife has posted on this thread..

YachtMistress · 27/01/2024 15:53

Laugh out loud thread.

Oodie of Doom, symptom top trumps and 'painkillers don't work on me' DH model here. Woebetide any Doubting Thomas'.
And. The. Sniffing
Leaving the hoover running to drown out the noise can be satisfying .......

Jollyoldfruit · 27/01/2024 15:53

Walking2024now24days · 27/01/2024 14:58

@Jollyoldfruit

aww bless. I do love the image of him standing there in his pj's...quivering lip. They're all just little boys at heart aren't they.

your friend was a bit mean!! I'd have wanted to scoop him up and carry him back to bed (but at not quite 5ft & no muscles, he'd have had to make do with a hand hold)

im not sure though if in reality I'd have been doting or mortified?!?!

once when we were moving a friend was helping us & as we were stripping the bed (we were young & it was my best friend) she picked up a pillow & DP's (traditional button up striped) pj's we're underneath. She was near wetting herself laughing!!! Maybe you had to be there?!?!

Show quote history

Yes. It was my best friend in this case and we can all laugh at each other.
To be fair I reminded dh of this event today and we both laughed.

LightSpeeds · 27/01/2024 16:02

"... you know where I’m going with this. Like someone acting for their boss when calling in sick..."

😂🤒😂

Rachelsthorns · 27/01/2024 16:10

Deathbyfluffy · 27/01/2024 12:35

This, literally this.
I’m a man and when I’m ill it’s no different to anyone else - DW looks after me, and when she’s ill I look after her.

There’s no need for dramatics or one-upping each other, but then this is MN 😅

Show quote history

When I was ill with flu and could barely lift my head from the pillow, ex-H flung a cardboard box at me and called me a selfish bitch.

You'll forgive my lack of sympathy for him, I'm sure.

Original poster

DeBuugs · 27/01/2024 16:13

Sothisiit · 27/01/2024 12:37

Man here, I've been to the doctor 4 times and only had 2 sick days off in my whole working life (30years)
As a single dad I don't have anyone to do the shuffle of sorrow in front of now.
I'm thinking of offering my body for medical research to assist other males with their terrible affliction to male disease.
There has to be a cure out there in some undiscovered plant in the Amazon jungle.
.

That made me laugh

OP posts:

MadeOfAllWork · 27/01/2024 16:15

Mine is always huffing and puffing with the slightest sniffle but when he is genuinely ill he won’t bloody rest.

He was in hospital for 3 days a few weeks ago, they discharged him at about 2pm and I told him to wait so I could pick him up. No, he got the bus.
Then he had to go back in for a follow up a week or so later, while signed off, and walked the 3 miles home!

Lifeomars · 27/01/2024 16:20

spacecadette · 27/01/2024 11:17

The shuffle of sorrow 😂😂😂 I can't breathe!

Same here! howled at that

justtidying · 27/01/2024 16:24

Nannyogg134 · 27/01/2024 11:30

The bit I can't stand is the 'sick' voice 🙄I tell him that he's not auditioning for the lead role as 'sick person' in the West End, if you're ill then I believe you but stop being so flipping ridiculous about it

My one does this!!! He even tried to copy morning sickness, saying he had eaten something.

Drives me crackers.

SwordToFlamethrower · 27/01/2024 16:29

I went out last night on the razzle dazzle after what I thought was the tail end of a cold. Its come back with a vengeance today and I've been on the sofa groaning, and shuffling around in the DGOD.

DH has been feeding me and acknowledging my feeble sniffles and croaks of "I not well" with lemsips and replies of "I know darling".

I used to be a martyr with my ex but I don't do that nonsense anymore. If I so much as sneeze, the DGOD comes out.

To be fair, I recover very quickly. When I was a martyr, I used to feel ill for weeks. I've learned I should rest completely if I want to recover swiftly.

justtidying · 27/01/2024 16:37

this thread is making me laugh.

Our 4 DC took turns in having d&v over last 2 weeks. Yesterday, we woke up and both felt a little unwell, (I believe that I said it first) but as we have had a lot of time off for childcare, we decided it was probably psychosomatic and toddled off to work. My main concern was that I am a teacher and had 4 parent teacher meetings in the afternoon. DH works in an office, and was sent home because 'I clearly look unwell'. i had to sit through these 4 meetings (which of course, over ran) but keep excusing myself to vomit, and then go pick up our kids from afterschool care, as he was napping. He does work very hard, and I am nit begrudging him a nap, but he also managed to eat lunch whereas I couldn't keep water down.

(I also had to get up this morning at 5am to take DC to a swimming competition as he doesn't drive, but that is a whole other story and I am
back in bed now where I shall rest for the rest of the evening)