DH gravely ill - I have no sympathy

[DeBuugs]

This is half light hearted and half a vent.

We have two young children who still wake up a lot at night. DH never does any of the nights - he got himself into a nice little position where the kids only want me. I really feel the lack of sleep creeping on me and has been for a while.

DH has been sick with cold for quite a while now. He walks around all huffing, looking like he is about to faint and when he talks to me talks supper quiet and his speech breaks up - you know where I’m going with this. Like someone acting for their boss when calling in sick 🤣.

I gave him no sympathy since he announced he had a cold (I was sick then myself) and I think we have a stand off here and he will be sulking acting like he is about to die until I acknowledge his extremely bad cold. I have no intention to do so.

If any men comment on here please say that you are a man if you don’t mind. Interested to hear male comments 😊

DH was ill the other week and was doing the shuffle of sorrow around the house shaking his head and wincing. He told me I’d never had pain like his.

I pointed out that I’d given birth - twice

Reader he got better within 48 hours

Luckily DH doesn’t have the MN Dressing Gown of Doom or I am sure it would have made an appearance.

The shuffle of sorrow 😂😂😂 I can't breathe!

Omg I think we are married to the same man!! Does he hold his hand to his forehead in a dramatic way? Mine does the "weak voice" and has to stagger very slowly up to bed and sleep for the entire day. Luckily my kids are all grown up so this is not so much a complaint, I actually enjoy the peace and quiet 😆

He leans onto the counter one elbow on the counter and holds his head 😂.

I fear he might be ill until I send him off to bed for the day/weekend, cook him chicken soup and make cups of tea

@DeBuugs ye gods they would do anything to get out of helping with their kids and housework which is never ending!! get the kids all excited and send them up to jump on him!!! alternatively, tell him you have phoned for an ambulance and it should be here in two hours! he obviously needs to be hospitalised!

Oh God it’s so jarring isn’t it! If I say “have you got a cold?” He’ll reply in a fake croaky voice just to lay it on thick. Makes my blood boil

I'm not a man but I think you're being incredibly unreasonable. It's only anecdotal but my own personal experience has shown me that men do get much more ill, tired and stressed than women ever do even when it just seems minor like a cold or slightly broken sleep. When they break out the weak voice and the sad shuffle they're communicating their needs to us because they're too ill to say aloud that they need us to care for them alongside the children we're already looking after. #poorsouls

The bit I can't stand is the 'sick' voice 🙄I tell him that he's not auditioning for the lead role as 'sick person' in the West End, if you're ill then I believe you but stop being so flipping ridiculous about it

Also (and I'm on a full rant now haha), when I say "I'm not feeling too well", I just know that within half an hour he'll suddenly present with the same symptoms. Munchausen's by Marriage!!

Sad but funny at the same time

Sounds like mine 🙄🤣

Men really don't get more ill.

I was married for about 8 years before I realised DH sometimes gets headaches.

He said he'd never mentioned it because they weren't as bad as my migraines. What a sweetheart.

We were staying with friends when dh got a bout of d&v. We sat downstairs chatting, dh had taken himself to bed.
Dh came down in his pj’s and announced in a quiet, trembly voice ‘I’ve been sick again.’
My friend burst out laughing and dh shuffled back up the stairs and stayed there until he was amazingly well enough next morning to come down dressed and speaking normally!

Awww he needs you to be mummy and give him cuddles, medicine and soup.
Maybe towel his forehead for a bit too.

Heartless wenches. These poor men!
AnnaMagnani we don't need that kind of happy anecdote here, this is AIBU 😂😂

My DH does this completely over-exaggerated hacking cough - like a person with advanced lung disease rather than someone who's had a cold for a couple of days. This is invariably followed by muttering to himself about how awful his cough is.

DC have all been unwell at the same time. Like you, he never does nights. He has sleeping difficulties so I naively agreed to do night waking when the DC were babies, little knowing I'd still be doing them more than a decade down the line. My sympathy for him extends to buying a box of lemsip.

On the other hand, he was violently sick one night a few weeks ago and I did feel bad for him then and help him out as he is never sick.

The shuffle of sorrow 😂

It was definitely funny the day I came back with "oh you've just started your period as well have you" Even he had to concede that his symptoms probably weren't from this 😂

Always feel thankful when I read these threads that I have a partner who looks after me and is extremely sympathetic when I'm ill, and I do the same for him. Yes, I shuffle around and cough and talk weakly and wear a dressing gown, it's called being ill. Would hate to be in a relationship where my partner didn't have sympathy and mocked me for being ill.

I am feeling very guilty now. My DH could probably sympathise with you all.
I , a woman, have had a cold that I can’t shift for a full week now and think I may be displaying some man flu symptoms.
I have been going back to bed most days after DS goes to school and sitting around drinking tea and feeling sorry for myself. I have probably been moaning too.
I did get DS out to school, make dinner every day, do the laundry, walk the dog and do some minimal housework in between moans.

See I think this is where when you’ve been with someone for a long time and know each other very well, you know what reaction is appropriate.

I can quite easily tell when DH is genuinely really poorly & when he’s laying it on thick or just feeling sorry for himself with the sniffles. I’m more than happy to take care of him when he is really poorly but when he’s just sulking and sniffling I don’t even engage with it or acknowledge it because he then plays up to it even more🤣

This has really made me laugh!!

Ah it's only a bit of fun really I'm sure. I'm not sure it's in DH and I's nature to spend each day sweetly cherishing each other, we've spent 23 years having a bit of moan, but we'll still go out at 2am for lemsips if needed.

DH has been shuffling around in his dressing gown this past week and spent a lot of it in bed, he also pronounced that his temperature was 99.3F on several occasions (he always does Fahrenheit for this). He had a head cold which seems better now so he has shuffled off to do some fishing. We are retired so it hasn't really affected me too much fortunately

I think that was in resposne to the post from @ohfook. e.g @AnnaMagnani I believe was saying IANBU as it is not because men actually suffer more