Realistic plan to pay school fees or not?

[cargear01]

Hope to save 60k by the time ds is 5, hes 2 at the moment and I have 24k.

I am able to save around 1k a month towards this at the moment (I do this without factoring in the cms below and can manage).

it would mean when school fees start that I could pay half from the 60k and half from my own income. I haven’t included cms in my calculations as I don’t want to ‘rely’ on it (insane that that’s the state of this country but I’m working on worst case scenario). That said, ex currently pays 700 maintenance and he is a workaholic so I suspect it will go up. He works in the nhs so can’t really get out of it.

do you think my plan is doable? Should I be doing more? Is it totally unrealistic? I have assumed fees will be around 18k a year when dc starts, taking account of inflation.

Will he have an easier time though, given you say you are living a basic life at the moment so you can save for school fees? Will your DS be mostly surrounded by other kids who have lots of nice holidays, interesting hobbies, large houses, cars, tutoring, etc.

Parents having a bigger bank balance does not immediately equate to nicer children.

More money for drugs.

The university group Facebook page I'm on is littered with posts from parents who are saying "Oh shit, I didn't realise I had to top up my DC's maintenance loan"

@RampantIvy yes that too! One of our local secondary schools (not a private school but in a "better area" is notorious for having a high percentage of kids who take drugs of some sort.
Because those kids have a higher disposable income.

I would really examine your reasons for wanting to privately educate from age 5. Most state primaries are absolutely fine. It’s a lot of money that you may not need to spend, giving you more money to go private later on if that’s what you choose at the time.

Your DS already sounds like his life is planned out with the gifted house……. Can I ask what your reasons are about not using a state school? Just curious more than anything.

@Justontherightsideofnormal Its not about academics for me, it’s about the overall experience. Smaller classes, more activities, teachers not under the same pressure as in state, wider travel/trip opportunities, a longer school day to enable me to work longer and have da in one place alongside ALL his peers, rather than having to attend after school classes/activities that not all attend in state sector. Things like that.

It’s not ridiculous at all. And if they lose you you will see a massive influx into the state system that is already overcrowded and underfunded.

I really hope you succeed. But secondary private schools are very expensive. Take no notice of the ‘state’ school fanatics that will try and vilify you, it’s a typical mumsnet thing. If they could afford they would, I mean who wouldn’t want the best for their children. Who wouldn’t want a class of ten rather than 40.

@Patchworksack the ridiculous charitable status of private schools is a phrase bandied around. Everybody knows that state schools are badly underfunded. What do you think would happen if private schools closed and all those children had to go into the state system? Also parents of privately educated children pay for their children to be educated by the state through taxation, and then pay schools fees on top.

I think you have to remove your rose tinted glasses when it comes to private schooling. Just because you’re paying for something doesn’t mean it’s value for money for your specific situation.

My kids are at prep in a different part of the U.K. where fees are much, much cheaper. Class sizes are smaller, SEN support is great, afterschool provision is very handy etc etc. But would I be sending them if it meant we’d be living on super noodles and reused teabags, no emergency fund, no holidays, constantly worrying about next terms fees? Absolutely fucking not.

There’s no point spending every spare penny on fees and not being able to share in actually enjoyable experiences with your son. Spending that money on trips and hobbies, and exploring his interests together is much more likely to build his cultural capital in a way that motivates him to learn.

OP I do think you need to check out the state schools near you.
It sounds like are making a lot of assumptions based on your own negative experiences. Primary schools, teaching, enrichment trips/ lessons and standards have changed a lot since we were little.

In terms of good / bad influences, at primary school, you are their moral compass, you are the person that matters most. At secondary school, their peer group becomes more important. These are not just my thoughts, an educational psychologist told me this when we were thinking of private primary schools.

We were thinking about private schools but decided we just couldn't make the numbers work without living pretty frugally and we just didn't think it was worth it.

@Pipsquiggle thanks that’s really interesting. I am trying to get my head around state for primary and your comment is reassuring and makes a lot of sense.

Your comments about state schools are very naive and you don't seem to know that much about the independent schools, but you hope it's better then your personal experience in one school 20 years ago or whenever. Please go out there and do some research before you waste all that money in something that may not be greener...

We were thinking about private schools but decided we just couldn't make the numbers work without living pretty frugally and we just didn't think it was worth it.

Same here. We dcided to use a tutor instead should it have been necessary, and it was - just for GCSE maths. It meant that we were able to support DD through university.

Take no notice of the ‘state’ school fanatics that will try and vilify you, it’s a typical mumsnet thing. If they could afford they would, I mean who wouldn’t want the best for their children. Who wouldn’t want a class of ten rather than 40.

Take no notice of the state school haters, and go and visit some and see for yourself what they are like. And BTW class sizes at primary school are smaller than 40.

Another expense to consider is exam fees. I was surprised when my friend had to pay entry fees for GCSEs and A level exams on top of the school fees.

I am on the derbys/staffs border too and the primaries are not all dire! Which preprep are you looking at because the two I can think of are not great at all......

Hi Op, would you consider moving to be in the catchment of a really good state primary? That’s what I did a few years ago, and it was worked out really well. Great SEN provision, great academic provision (eg Mandarin lessons!), lovely parents who are very dedicated and share similar values, (mostly!) lovely children, lots of extracurricular options etc. At the time, private schooling was something I could seriously consider, but I decided to invest in a house near a really good state school instead. I’m really glad I did, as I have developed a health condition that impacts my ability to work, and therefore my finances, and whilst I can (just) still afford where we live, school fees would be impossible.

Chopping and changing from state to private school brings a whole other bunch of issues

also beware the private school kids have huge holiday experiences , speaking from experience being unable to do holidays that other kids could as their families were so much more financially able , has a huge impact on children who’s families can’t .
also the costs of school trips in private schools if ott.
have you considered religious schools/ Steiner
cheaper and a better mix of all income bracket s

Just save your money for uni. We are looking at £200k to put our kids through a degree each.

they went state all the way and have done well enough

As my now 22 year old said
” private schools just have more expensive drugs”
sixth form it was definitely a thing !

My cousin went to Repton and he would agree with you! He always said that you get the same bullies, druggies and arseholes no matter what the school, but that the drugs cost more and the bullies wanted more money.

I’m in Northern Ireland and even I’ve heard of Repton (whether rightly or wrongly) having a reputation for drugs 🫣

What the..? Really? Christ that’s a lot! We’re still at primary school she only so I have my head on the sand a bit about this. May I be very nosy and ask why it is so much? Eg are they studying medicine? I’ve been thinking it’ll be more in a few years for fees, but hopefully no more than £12k a year, and I’m praying they go somewhere with cheap accommodation.

I’m just thinking about costs, a room in a house share here (London but I know accommodation near Unis is getting pricey everywhere) is about £1k a month with bills included, somewhere really basic or would be more expensive, then a couple of hundred a month for food, a hundred for travel (assuming student discount on a travelcard, more if in a further out zone), that’s at least £1.5k a month, something for clothes and shoes and so on, so a minimum of £20k a year given you have to pay for the summer to get the room at all, then there’s phone contracts, socialising, academic books, add in Uni fees and it’s at least £100k by the end of 3 years isn’t it?
I think I feel sick!

Why pay them through uni?

As has been said many times by many financial experts, loan repayments should be looked at more as a graduate tax. If they dont earn above the minimum threshold then they wont pay it back and what they do pay back over the threshold is well within the realms of affordability. Thats kind of the point!

Helping them out, especially if they go to a uni in an expensive place to live, is one thing but I would never factor in course fees.

That does make sense, but are the loans enough? I don’t have any friends with children at Uni yet, but I recall hearing that the loans are based on parental income, and often inadequate?